🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄

@jordangoblinqueen

🫀Ɗɑɾƙ Ƒɑղեɑsყ Writer & Poet 🗡 | 🪶 Editor & Beta Reader ~ rates on 🕸site! | 📖 Blogger | 🦋 She/Her 🍂 linktr.ee/JordantheGoblinQueen

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🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Jun 6

I don't know much about most actors and can't speak on them as people I've never met. But I have to admit I'm melancholy at the loss of Giles. His character and the show Buffy as a whole have been a comfort & meant a lot

Giles telling Buffy "I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I must say, as a Slayer, you're doing pretty well."

Giles telling Buffy "You don't have to figure the whole thing out at once, you know. The job and everything. You're pushing yourself too hard."

Giles says "You're.." and Buffy answers "A miracle." Giles smiles and says "Yes. But then again, I always thought so."

Giles telling Buffy "I taught you all I can about being the Slayer and your mother taught you about life. You're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone."

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· May 10

Well played, Crunchyroll

A mother's day suggested watch list on a streaming service titled "Amazing Anime Moms." The first two pictured shows are Attack on Titan and Fullmetal Alchemist

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 24

Watching folks on the internet feel betrayed by "unreliable narrators" because they thought every main character was supposed to give a purely objective retelling of events that is not at all filtered through their subjective senses & interpretations.. You know, like being in another's person mind

Hayao Miyazaki leaned back in a chair with his eyes closed and arms over his head, glasses in one hand and a cigarette in his mouth. His looks exhausted with the world

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 23

The most recent meme in your photo roll describes your mental state.

Mr. Krabbs squinting in exhausted and angry disappointment at a sign that reads "Zero days without male nonsense"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Mar 27

A morning post, too 💀

Meme of Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park saying "You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it."

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Mar 26

I've somehow managed to crack my phone's screen protector in such a way that it looks exactly like a big spider crawling up the side of it

Meme of an orange cat with exhausted eyes edited onto its face. Caption reads "You know what, it's my fault for having a phone"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Mar 19

Using my anti-virus tools to block Microsoft Edge and its updates may have been one of the funnier things I've done lately

Scene from Star Wars Andor of Luthen saying "I'm condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Feb 27

Could I have chosen different warlock spells, yes But why rob myself 😏

Screenshot of a DnD Beyond spell list. The spells read: Hold Person, Hunger of Hadar, Suggestion, and Tongues

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Feb 25

My editing notes to clients: *in-depth critique drawing from literary analysis, suggestions, industry standard corrections* My editing notes to myself:

Meme of video game character Marcus the worm pointing at a rock around a campfire with the text "It's pissin' me off"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Dec 29

My first ever video game crush (that I can remember) Listen.. he had the same sauce as the damn Robin Hood fox, and they knew what they were doing both times

Sly Cooper posing with his thieves' cane in front of an underground path

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Dec 25

Happy holidays & Yule to those who celebrate, and a fine winter day to all 🫶🏻❄️ I stayed up late wrapping presents & watching Anastasia, and now that food & gifts have been had, I'll away to my goblin den for some snacking & reading 😌 Enjoy the Whisper Tree 🎄

A white tree decorated in red lights, black snowflake pentagram ornaments, and a black pentagram star. The tree skirt depicts all the moon phases and another pentagram

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Dec 18

People who don't care about protecting the planet have the self-preservation instincts of a pencil eraser

Rocket from movie Guardians of the Galaxy asking "What has the galaxy ever done for you? Why do you want to save it?" Starlord, standing next to Gamora and looking peeved, yells, "Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Dec 18

What are some of your favorite female character designs? Orin - Baldur's Gate 3 Nimue - Remnant II Auntie Ethel - Baldur's Gate 3 Eileen the Crow - Bloodborne

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Sep 27

Been a bleh week, so I'm finishing it out by spending all day listening to D&D podcasts and bartering with familiars for witchy ingredients in Reka 🌾

Screenshot of game Reka: a witchy girl with a lantern stands in front of a large black cat and his stone full of wares against a nighttime autumn forest. The game text reads "Buy one St. John's Wort for 20 berries"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Sep 9

Book marketing tips: be vulnerable and human, share about your life and writing, be personable and accessible to people Me:

Meme of two men from reality show Pawn Stars standing behind a shop counter. One taps the counter while he looks at someone out of frame

Meme text reads: Best I can do is self-deprecating jokes

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Sep 6

Made creamy one skillet chickpeas for lunch. With extra crispy garlic tortilla because a goblin can only watch so many things at a time 🧐

Photo of chickpeas and veggies in a creamy orange sauce, plated in a bowl next to broken up crispy tortilla

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Aug 19

Verryyyy tentative announcement of my upcoming streaming channel If you've been following along, I was supposed to kick off months ago and well.. this year happened 🫠 Been making everything super cute & professional in the meantime, so feel free to give me a follow while I work out a schedule 🫶🏻 ⤵️

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Jul 21

D&D Update: My goblin-fairy warlock has a flea, his name is Jeffery, I got him off a yak, and he sits in a vial where I feed him pastry crumbs He will one day be a sacrifice

Photo of an online D&D character sheet. Under the section "component pouch," the component "Jeffrey the Flea" is listed

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Jul 15

What video game ignited your passion for gaming? (GIF only) Couldn't find a gif, so the PS1 case will have to do 😂

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Jul 14

Apparently I've awakened to another "lie in bed feeling sick" day, which is quite annoying since I've already done that several times this month At least Aedan is on board with a sleepy day; he hopped into bed for cuddles as soon as I woke up Morn 😒☕️

Photo of a black cat curled up on bedcovers and peeking up with one eye sleepily cracked

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· May 31

I love ramen because I can throw all the leftover veggies from the week in a garlic peanut butter broth, and it all has the same flavor when you're done 😌

Photo of a bowl of ramen noodles, green veggies, and halved egg in a garlic peanut broth, sprinkled with chopped leek

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· May 24

Decided to go with a slightly fancy dinner because it's been forever since I had southern comfort food Stovetop white cheddar garlic & herb grits with garlic parmesan-seasoned sautéed spinach and egg

Photo of a bowl of yellow grits topped with a fried egg and sautéed spinach

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· May 17

What a lovely off day to start out with a "fuck you" to my least favorite enemy 😌 She had to look directly into the camera for this one 💀 🎮 Baldur's Gate 3

Screenshot of a Baldur's Gate 3 cinematic taking place in a submarine. Off-screen, Gortash says, "Aren't you an intrepid little adventurer. Digging and diving where you don't belong."

The player character, an elf woman covered in blood, stares tiredly out of the screen with a slight smirk. The selected dialogue option reads "Fuck you, Gortash."

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· May 12

G'morn ☕️ I greet thee from my goblin abode where I've prepared coffee, a savory breakfast bowl, & strawberry flavored water with electrolytes (verreh important) About to do some editing work by the sunny (hiss) window while the birds chirp and Sleep Token plays 🎶

A photo of a dark wood desk under warm lighting, filled with various fae and gothic styled trinkets, a laptop showing painted blue cloud screensaver art, a keyboard with blue fantasy stickers, a lava lamp, black tumbler cups, and a bowl filled with savory breakfast food. On the grayish purple wall is Howl's Moving Castle art of Howl & Sophie in the meadow and a coffin-shaped pin display with various fantasy pins

A close-up photo of the breakfast bowl on a desk. The bowl contains an egg over cheesy noodles with broccoli, chopped leek, and parsley flakes

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 24

*grabby hands at screen*

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 12

Aedan has a new little buddy. Pixie follows him everywhere and he takes his job of watching her very seriously

A tabby kitten and adult black cat curled up next to each other on a bed

A tabby kitten and adult black cat curled up next to each other on a bed, with the black cat's eyes closed and seeming to smile contentedly

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 4

I will write an entire story about 1400s Dutch locksmithing... ONE DAY

Bob Par from Incredibles, "math is math" meme

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Apr 4

I rarely cook for myself, but when I do, I make it as lazily fancy as possible Homemade ramen in garlic chicken PB sauce with broccoli, a little cheese, and soy sauce egg

Photo of bowl of ramen with shredded cheese, broccoli, and egg

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Mar 24

Quote post with the energy you bring to bsky ✨️

Netflix show Wednesday Addams saying "I like stabbing"

Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer saying "Man, this socializing thing is brutal"

Mushu from Mulan shaking his fist and yelling "Say that to my face, you limp noodle!"

Catbug from The Bravest Warriors shaking a stick with googly eyes, while holding a potato with googly eyes, and shouting "Who is this man?!"

🦋Jordan the Goblin Queen 🍄@jordangoblinqueen· Mar 22

Well, we finally named our little miss chaos. Meet Pixie 🦋