Jordan

@jordanpfot

South African in Scotland. Will probably post about politics/movies/tennis/rugby/gay nonsense.

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film politics

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Jordan@jordanpfot· 29d

An England vs Spain final would be huge for this reaction video.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 13

I don’t remember that one.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 13

Security is hilariously lax. This jacket is just sitting there on a piano about 10 meters from the wide open exit door.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 13

I think Queen might be the most overrated band of all time but I’m intrigued to see how the Freddie Mercury museum in Zanzibar handles that one specific part of his identity.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 12

Why has Al Carns posted a transparent sticker of himself in the army here? What goes inside his brain

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 12

Chain Reaction by Diana Ross is filled with modulations but in our era of inoffensive streaming wallpaper music I suppose that kind of thing would be considered too jarring.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 12

Elevator again. Still no Debi Mazar. Sad!

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 12

No piece of writing has captured my experience at boarding school better than this letter to the LRB.

Beans

‘All games need scoring systems,’ David Runciman writes, ‘to make it possible to know who is winning’ (LRB, 4 June). I am reminded of a game played at my all-boys secondary school, which we called ‘Beans’. The boys who wanted to play would stand facing a wall, at varying distances from it, and one boy would throw a tennis ball. If the ball missed the wall, hit the ground before hitting the wall, or was caught having rebounded off the wall, the boy who threw it would be liable for ‘beans’. If a boy tried to catch the ball and failed, he too would be liable for beans (as he was if he could have caught it but refused). ‘Beans’ entitled every other boy to punch the recipient once on the upper arm.

There were other rules. When a boy caught the ball he had to take the next throw. If the ball wasn’t caught, the boy who was closest when it came to rest had to throw. If a boy threw the ball and missed the wall, as well as getting beans, he had to throw again from the same position. If a boy moved with the ball in his hands, he was liable to unlimited beans until he attempted a throw. Finally, if the ball went beyond the player furthest from the wall, all the boys would run to the wall, and the last one there would have to fetch the ball and throw. Inevitably, this would be the slowest boy in the group: finding himself too far from the wall to hit it with a throw, he would begin the unenviable trudge back into range while his classmates either punched him on the arm repeatedly or positioned themselves by the wall ready to catch the ball when he finally threw it.

There was no scoring system, and it was impossible to win. The only objective was not to lose. My own tactic was to stand in the middle of the group so that I would seldom be expected to catch the ball, and any catches that did come my way would be easier than if I stood closer. If I had to throw, I would be close enough to be accurate and reasonably forceful; and if we had to run to the wall, I knew I wouldn’t be last. All very sensible. But a more reliable way of not losing would have been to not play. I don’t know why any of us did. Perhaps it was just an excuse for bullying, but it seems an elaborate way to accomplish something that seldom needed excusing.

One day, one of the faster boys surprised us. The ball ran beyond the last player, and as we all ran to the wall, he ran in the opposite direction. He reached the ball while we were still at the wall and ran towards us. By the time we reached him, he was almost in range and moving so quickly that we couldn’t hit him with any force. He effectively got a free throw as we were all too busy chasing him to catch the ball. At the time I felt slightly thwarted, but you had to admire his ingenuity.

Jason Jawando
Wolverhampton, West Midlands

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

Do you know how hard it is to make *Handre Pollard* look bad wearing something?

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

The hate I have for these springbok practice shirts

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

Scotland vs South Africa rugby, Wimbledon final and England vs Norway at the World Cup tonight………..

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

These Bolt tuk-tuks are so chic. My driver earlier today got annoyed about traffic and just started driving on the pavement instead.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

The colour in the new Dune movie looks sublime.

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 11

Springboks vs Scotland match day you say?

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 10

Dar es Salaam!

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 9

Who names their child “Fraudster”? That’s asking for trouble. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Jordan@jordanpfot· Jul 6

I was wondering how Ugandan news would cover the xenophobia in South Africa. This makes me sad and ashamed. These poor, desperate people. Failed by two countries.