JurassicRaptor (@jurassicraptor) · DIRTY

JurassicRaptor

@jurassicraptor

Writer, amateur historian, type-1 Diabetic. 27 yo. He/Him Turn the Volume Up.

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JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· 13d

An image of a corn dog with a photoshopped Shiba Inu face on it.
The top text reads: "These hose treating me like a corn dog"
The bottom text, layered over unintelligible text, reads: "BOILING ME IN OIL"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 9

When the subscriptions start dropping

A three panel cartoony comic:

Panel 1: A bear walks into a room where their friends are. They say: "Hey guys! Guess who got..."

Panel 2 and 3: The bear emphasizes with song notes: "yelled aaat!"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 7

Three panels of a scene from the Simpsons.

Panel 1: A distressed Marge shouts and scolds, "Mets no!!"

Panel 2: the camera pans out to reveal the New York Mets are, innocently, standing next to Marge. They ask, "What?"

Panel 3; Marge sheepishly apologizes with, "Sorry, force of habit."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 7

An image of Scottish comedian Limmy pointing exaggeratedly and saying, in his thick accent, "he's doonstairs" or he's downstairs"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 6

Lake Mungo remains one of the best horror films I've ever seen, and I will die on that hill "What horror movie image haunts you?"

An image from the end of Lake Mungo (2008). A low-quality, grainy image of the main character's corpse walking towards the camera. It is a living preview of their own impending death.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 2

What is the charge!? Bypassing a barricade!? A terrible Tasmanian barricade!?

A still image from a video depicting Neil the Elephant seal. As a public safety officer is attempting to corral him into the sea, Neil is throwing his head back and barking and growling, unintimidated.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jul 1

A four panel image from an episode of the Simpsons.

Panel 1: Lisa bursts into Homer and Marge's room, pulling a wagon with a slumped over Bart in it. She screams: "Mom, Dad! Bart's Dead!"

Panel 2: Homer and Marge shoot up, screaming in shock.

Panel 3: Bart sits up, a smug look on his face. He says: "That's right! Dead serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land!"

Panel 4: Homer and Marge lay back down to go back to sleep.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 24

Ace from the Gangrene Gang looking off to the side with a smile. Dismissively, he says, "Aw, hey Billy, we thought you were dead."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 22

I guess it's time to build a pillow fort

The results of an Amazing Digital Circus personality quiz. The highest result is Kinger at 80%

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 20

Geoffrey Eckstein? The guy Kat Abu and her mom saw in 2021?

Jim Downey on Conan O'Brien's podcast where he asks about whatever happened to Jeffrey Epstein, the New York Financier.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 16

The profecy of mediocrity

4chan post from a bunch of English people.

"Got called racist in Greggs earlier lads."
"Tell us what happened lad."
"I got called racist in greggs."
"Yeah but why"
"I was being racist"
"In Greggs?"
"Yeah it was in Greggs."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 14

I think we should stop giving any attention to the shitty South Park-wannabe and their Gameoverse bashing trailer and focus on supporting and talking about things like "My Girlfriend, Enid" instead.

Norman Rockwell's "Freedom of Speech" painting: a man stands up in a crowd to spout an unpopular/nonconforming opinion

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 13

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jun 1

The legacy she deserves now

An image of Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer shielding her face with folders after being tricked into a (extremely obvious) photo op with Donald Trump.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· May 30

Graham Platner? The oyster farmer?

An image of an incredulous Jim Downey on Conan O'Brien's podcast

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· May 27

When asked why he sold his morality to Amazon, Jorge replied:

An image of notorious cheapskate Mr. Krabs from the Spongebob Squarepants movie doing an interview. He says, quote, "Hello, I like money."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· May 24

Can get a lot of mileage out of this scene nowadays-

A pair of screencaps from an episode of Spongebob Squarepants. A father and son are riding in a car together, the child in hysterical -- presumably unending -- tears as the dad stares at the road longing for death.

The child screeches "I don't like Pistachio!"

The father, exasperated beyond life, asks to a despondent, uninterested god, "Then why did you ask for it??"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 25

I have never played #FFXIV-

An edited 4chan post.

Post 1: An image of Alphinaud FFXIV. Text: "Alphinaud is love. Alphinaud is light. Alphinaud is life."

Post 2: An image of Alisaie FFXIV. Text: "Sure, OP."

Post 3: An image of Estinien FFXIV in sunglasses. Text: "You cunts have been doing this for thirteen years. Thirteen years."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 22

A 4 panel series of scenes from an episode of the Powerpuff Girls.

1-2: the Girls stand on a cloud. Blossom asks the townsfolk: "Why don't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?"

3: A genius shouts back, "because your toast would get soggy!"

4: the townsfolk cheer on their genius messiah, surely getting ready to invest in his latest ai start-up.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 14

Yamazaki, show us Godzilla destroying the NY Stock Exchange and my life is yours!

An image from a Godzilla video game. A woman says "Go ahead and destroy the financial district Godzilla. Make the people happy."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 13

It's been hours and I'm still infuriated.

A two-panel meme image of a flower.

Panel 1: The sunflower is screaming in impotent rage. Text: "GLITCH brings the TADC finale to theaters, expending indie animation's influence and funding future indie projects."

Panel 2: The sunflower is now bashful smiling in gentle forgiveness. Text: "the smiling friends chuds fuck over dozens of animators and take advantage of fan labor."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 7

An edited scene from an episode of the Simpsons.
Panel 1: Millhouse's dad asks, "do that's it? After a tutorial so long, good luck?"
Panel 2: His boss replies, "I don't recall saying good luck."

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Apr 2

From the late, great Carrie Fisher

A tweet from Carrie Fisher saying: "See? I don't know how to write someone privately... Help me obi Juan whoever the fuck you are... You're my only ho"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Mar 20

Has this been done already?

A classic meme image of the recently deceased actor and right-wing activist/chucklenut Chuck Norris. The text says "Claims to be Pro Life"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Mar 16

The future is now

A pixelated image of US President Obama, who is famously black. Using the incredible power of "Artificial Intelligence", the pixelated image is upscaled and transformed into some white guy -- probably named Chad.

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Mar 16

One of the biggest films of the year, claiming some of the biggest awards of the year, and this is what you run with?

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Feb 15

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Feb 11

An image of a man crying as he presses his forehead against the trophy he's won. The quote from Meek Mill's "Dreams and Nightmares (Intro)" says, "I used to pray for times like this"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jan 24

A meme image of Gordon Ramsay screaming in rage. He shouts, "The game's so cooked its BURNT you fuckin donkey!!!"

JurassicRaptor@jurassicraptor· Jan 21

A 2 panel image of Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Panel 1: He is sitting in the driver's seat of a stopped car, a bowl of cereal in his hand. He chuckles smugly to himself, "Sandra, you dumb bitch." As a white car approaches from behind.

Panel 2: the white car has rear-ended him. He flings the cereal forward, milk and carbs going everywhere and splattering against the windshield.