K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊

@kcookandcatsco

This is the #KCookandCatsCo corporate account (and backup), the only BlueSky pfp so far to feature a photo of Moo 🐈 We’re mostly talking #movies on #FilmSky here 🎥 📰 Read #ReelRank News: 🗞️

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K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 4h

I just heard yesterday that the owner of @theatlantic.com hangs out with Ghislaine Maxwell & suddenly, all of their sus, shitty #writing aping the #MAGA and #MAHA talking points started to make a lot more sense I sincerely hope nobody I know reads this dogshit, embarrassing magazine 😬 #TheAtlantic

Headline: Where has all the testosterone gone? Well, I killed mine with spironolactone, but I can only speak for myself. Boy, The Atlantic is just a building full of dumb cunts isn’t it??

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 13h

I’m not bummed. I’m heartened and encouraged 🤩

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 13h

🥱

“From the studio that brought you Agatha All Along,” yeah, I knew that, but I’m surprised they’d bring it up 😂

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 13h

My grandma got me the Left Behind: The Kids book series for Xmas one year (I think I was, like, 16 and already tutoring in reading comp) & my Dad begged me to tell her I read them & liked them, but I wouldn’t The 3rd time she asked, I said, “Granny, I will never read them. They’re bad…” #BookSky 📖

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 14h

I was a sports reporter for about a decade, and I can say definitively that #PeteHegseth has the most embarrassing workouts I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t begin to quantify how many that might be. It’s countless. But whatever the #️⃣, way at the top, there’s #Hegseth, kipping his way to chin-ups 🤣

He’s such a weak bitch lol. He’s like Dennis Reynolds, working out his show muscles 😂

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 15h

Cut to: fielding calls from my insane parents a few months later bc I brought home #movie Swimming Pool & my parents found it & thought #Blockbuster carried, like, hardcore European pornography 🤣 They barely even gave the DVD back. My manager was like “But you said…” I said, “I wanted the job 🤷‍♀️”

It’s okay. It’s, like, pretty erotic, but it’s definitely not porn. It was RIVETING to me as a 15 year old lol. Today, I’d probably say it’s worth watching, but a little sordid and seedy

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 15h

He sure changed something for Brian Thompson. Just ask him 🤣 🩸🤤

Oh wait you can’t, he’s fucking dead, shot in the back in the street like the low dog and villain he was. Luigi Mangione sure as SHIT changed something for the Thompson Family. Just ask them lol 😂

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 17h

Wow! Neil has Punch-Drunk Love as (am I reading this right?) just THE greatest #film ever. That is... such a choice. I kinda love it! I have to confess, I've never seen that #movie, so I don't have an opinion, but I know enough to know that's a big move, putting that as your favorite 😆 #FilmSky 📽️

I wasn't lying! It's the God's honest tooth 🦷

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 17h

Jeez, look at this guy, @nezzkobedamned.bsky.social, watching mostly #movies he likes... Must be nice! I definitely wouldn't know anything about that 😑 Go follow Neil on #ReelRank: user.reelrank.net/Neil%20S%20B... #FilmSky 📽️ #MovieSky 🎞️

I just noticed I wasn't following Neil, and IMMEDIATELY rectified it, and sent him a message saying, "Jeez, why didn't you say something?!" Neil is, of course, one of the staff writers at ReelRank News, and a prolific one. I should have been following him already. Look at those ratings, though! Almost all 6+. Mine is, like, the opposite. Here, let's look...

Yeah, like, the exact opposite, lol. I have a bunch of 10.0 movies I've gone out of my way to get to early in my logging journey (I have a bunch of Letterboxd films I'm slowly bringing over), but I'm now getting to the 1, 2 and 3 star movies I'd forgotten I even saw.

Here's the thing: most movies are bad. Most THINGS are bad!

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 18h

I’ve never felt more vindicated in my life… I was about to post to y’all: “Shouldn’t the #film title Gone Baby Gone have, like, some fucking commas in it?” But then I thought, well, that’s really the author’s fault… The #novel title had commas!! I was dead-ass right 😤 #FilmSky 🎥 #BookSky 📖

Is it like a The Facebook situation? “Get rid of the punctuation. It’s cleaner that way.” No, it isn’t 😂

Look!! Commas, where they should be. Bc it was written by a WRITER ✍️

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 19h

This is such a cynical, lazy, terrible tagline (for one of the worst Jurassic #films, as well, so that's appropriate): "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom THE PARK IS GONE" I'm just picturing execs being, like, 'We're tired of hearing about how good Jurassic Park was. IT'S GONE, OKAY?!' 🤣 #FilmSky 📽️

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 19h

My power grows 🧙‍♀️ Follow me on #ReelRank: www.reelrank.net/user/KCookan... #FilmSky 📽️

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 19h

Out of context Paul Scheer: “It’s not for fucking. It’s for peeing.” 🤣 youtu.be/CyyLinyy60I?... #darkweb #lol #golf

lol, deliberately creepy, and nailed it.

The Uro-Club was designed by a board-certified urologist (allegedly), but as Paul points out, it’s basically a Gatorade bottle glued to a golf club 🤣

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 22h

The sea of brownshirts behind him isn’t doing much to calm my skin-crawlies down, either 🤔

I said somewhere else that they look like the Illinois Nazis from The Blues Brothers all lined up behind Trump 😆

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 23h

Gee, #Trump really stole my thunder with this announcement declaring that the Strait of Hormuz is to be a U.S. Territory, bc I was *just* about to release my video declaring that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is to be my lawful wife. Now it’ll seem like I’m just copying his thing 😩 #hegemony #dementia

NBC News headline “Trump says he will soon declare the Strait of Hormuz a US territory.”

I’m totally willing to come to the table. The holdup is all on the Louis-Dreyfus end, her and her people

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 23h

There’s literally no way in which men are not 100% to blame for declining birth rates, but knowing @theatlantic.com like I do, I bet they somehow find a way to answer this incorrectly 🤔 “Are #Men To Blame For The Birth-Rate Collapse?” I know better than to read it to find out, tho 🤢 #TheAtlantic

YES they are, obviously. Only men, in fact. Not even that many, like, we can name them in an hour.

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 23h

What fresh hell is this 🤔

Ew a PB&J Cookie?! No thanks. Even Cookie Monster would be, like, “got anything else?”

Is that Drew Brees? Selling Jimmy John’s cookies? For charity? This is all awful. Hate alllll of this.

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 23h

Birds know what time it is 😤 #Cybertruck #Tesla

How’s your divorce going, dude? Looks like really well! 🤣

Before anyone asks NO I didn’t do it. Could have been my bird friend from earlier though. He certainly ate well lol

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

Ooh, I've just found @reelrank.bsky.social's (Tanner's) All-Time Awards: Greatest #Film: Schindler's List " Direction: 2001 A Space Odyssey " Writing: Pulp Fiction " Acting: The Master (❗) " Music: LOTR ROTK " Visuals: Blade Runner " Editing: Children of Men " Design: Pan's Labyrinth #FilmSky 📽️

Looks cool, too. Tanner's handle on ReelRank is ReelDevil. He's SUPER into the 'reel' puns, and I think it's mostly why he made the website in the first place.

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

I maintain, the worst #film title in history. Can you beat it? Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole from, of all directors, Zack Snyder #FilmSky 📽️ #MovieSky 🎞️

It's not Zack Snyder's worst film (somehow), but it might be his weirdest, or weirdest that *he* made it, in any case.

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

#echolalia: "But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!" 😵‍💫 #FilmSky 📽️

"You can waste time with your..." who cares, that's never the line I have stuck in my head, nor is it the solution to having the other one stuck in my head, sadly.

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

This feels like a scene from Jurassic Park, with the talons click-clicking on the McDonald’s table umbrella 😅 There is now about another half-bagel up there again (couldn’t quite get all the egg off it, hopefully that’s not too against-nature/cannibalistic), and I’m off to other places and #birds 🤓

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

What an adventure it’s been today with these #crows! 🤩 I tore up ~half a bagel & put the pieces on that brick strut he was standing on, but they seem to have gobbled those all up now. I’m going to tear up what’s left and put it up there for them, too. They seem to appreciate (?) it 🥰 #PNW #birds

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

Mine was 2 weeks last time, then some of the points came off, and then it was 2 weeks again this time. I even put asterisks in this one, AND made it a hypothetical/conditional. “Put your g*n in your m*uth for a min so you feel alive IDK WHATEVER YOU DO.” It’s crazy. It’s vindictive & persecutorial

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

“I only give full star reviews.” Omg, same! 🤭 It’s cleaner that way. I like the way it makes that ratings distribution chart pop 🤩

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

The story has a happy ending 🥰 (Presuming it’s okay to feed bagels to #crows; otherwise, I’m a murderer) (that’s kind of a pun) #PNW #birds #PNWBirds #corvids

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

Laser-like focus 😅😅😅

I’ll feed him! I just want to eat first, is that okay?!

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

You couldn’t see it in the video, but there are three hungry, intimidating #crows watching me eat 😰

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

And suddenly, I am surrounded by hungry #birds again… 😨 #crows #PNW

K. Cook & Cats, Co. Corporate Account 📊@kcookandcatsco· 1d

I got red ringed 3 times. The 4th Xbox 360 I had, I lost when I broke up with my ex and she spitefully kept it so that the relationship would have been worth her time. I had bad luck with Xbox 360s. And exes 😅