My whole philosophy, in an ABAB nutshell.

It’s been a long, long time, but I’m about to get back on the dating apps.

Nuf said.

Perfect. No more followers, please.

Petition to rebrand Tesla Motors as “Smirking Cuntmobiles,” and to yeet their CEO into the fucking Sagittarius A* black hole? Pretty please?

This image tells us everything we need to know about the Trump administration. And what we therefore know is horrifying.

Okay, King Don Ew. I bet you also made a hole-in-one on every hole, too, right?

Cutest sonofabitch ever. I’ll hear no debate.

About eleven new STDs about to drop…

Welp, I guess it’s time to delete all of my Alphabet apps…

The greatest paragraph in American literature, if you ask me. 224 years old, and spot on.

My dude has some qualms. He’s probably correct about that.

Oh, but the Real Feel is NINE degrees. That makes it better.

50.

I fuckin’ hate Thanksgiving. (This is obviously a lie.)

🙋 it of course.

It was the best I’ve ever seen here in the Hudson Valley. What my phone saw was not much better than what I could see with the naked eye.

So bloody good, and such a privilege to see them in an absolutely tiny space in a tiny city, half a world away from their home.

Relationship status:

🎶”Drank and just about smiled/ then I remembered us in that bed”🎶

Hannukah sameach. It’s basically over when it’s the prettiest, but we have a bunch of gelt left, so that’s alright.