Matt Oswalt
@mattoswaltva
remember me? We met on Twitter and would get together every Tuesday afternoon at the Motel 6 outside Fresno.
I'm going to make a Wally George sculpture out of Pez and list it for $101,000
Elon is right, I've read The Odyssey and Helen is specifically described as a white woman with blonde hair, dark roots, 32DD silicone breasts, a lower back tattoo of Dale Earnhardt, and who cums at the sight of a doughy trust fund kid.
I'll believe Mitch McConnell is really alive when he performs Puttin' On the Ritz with Gene Wilder
wow, the line at Lindsey Graham's Great American Glory Hole must be really long
wow, did a young Lindsey Graham just blow Mr. Strickland at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance?
voting to once again keep a reality star megalomaniac buffoon out of public office. my 9th grade Civics teacher who could recite every Schoolhouse Rock song and Monty Python sketch would be proud
I TOLD you going to jail for me and ruining your life would pay off. Enjoy this gold-painted Radio Shack Flip Phone, J6ers!
imagine how many people would have stayed for dessert if he was actually shot
this is worse than Trump dressing as Jesus. This piece of shit harassed a woman into suicide leaving her child without a mother and he's playing the "God's plan" card. Really? So God MADE you do it as part of some divine purpose us mortals just can't comprehend. Seriously, fuck these evangelicals.
TRANSLATION: "I built a bunch of casinos I guaranteed were going to turn Atlantic City into paradise then bankrupted them all because I have no idea what I'm doing so now I'm gonna cash out and walk away and leave you all to deal with the disaster I created fuck you."
John Waters is right. It was shocking to see Divine eat dog shit once but watching Republicans eat Trump's loaded diaper every day gets boring after awhile
last words of Neidermeyer from Animal House right before he was killed by his own troops
on this day 41 years ago four students at Shermer High School pulled off the most elaborate practical joke on the quiet goth girl
does this mean Erika Kirk won't be shooting bottle rockets out of her twat at his funeral?
in case anyone else found it odd all Trump did during his State of the Union was award medals
just a hopeless romantic looking to spend Valentines Day with an Ivy League woman into classy cinema, soft music, the calming feel of ocean waves, and sunsets.
See what happens when you eliminate DEI, trans, political correct wokeness and instead focus on excellence? The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!!
it's Cinemax After Dark night at the New Beverly Cinema. www.instagram.com/mattoswaltva/
