D.Raven (MS-Accel)
@ms-accel
married midwestern android lesbian and also now attempting author I suppose 💍@/evrclover.bsky.social aiming to be at least 80% silicone and steel by 2040 Taoist ☯️ You're probably here because my comment sent you to the beach that makes you old
Personally it's impossible for me to picture Jod as anything other than Father from kids next door
I felt pretty good about this one, a stream of consciousness of the overwhelming visions of the past upon Pyrrha's acceptance of a contract with an Old One of sorts It was partially inspired by the chapter "Truth" from Kay Atkinson's A Quiet Universe, although not quite going for the same thing
I kinda feel like I just did this in writing. That or it's just like, I keep coming back to the saying, hype moments and aura. The entire thing came to me while I was looping the first song you hear in NieR Replicant and picturing the opening combat scene after all.
Yeah at this point I'm at the very least going to write like, a oneshot chapter or something. I gotta, the scene in my head is too vivid for me to not put it somewhere. Who cares if I never follow up, I need to at least do this one thing. I'll see how long a little one-off takes me.
also shoutout to @mangomakes.bsky.social for this cool af first sketch of her I think she deserves me to flesh out her design more with detailed & colored comms someday, and also to think of a name but I have years old OCs that I never figured out a name for so like, good luck to me on that lmao
This is THE exchange of the book to me. Lydia has denied, yearned, & repressed her feelings, anything except expressing them. Mada reads her desires like an open book and tells her if she admits her desires she can have them (this is like, THE reason consent is sexy, because vulnerability is.)
"I will always be able to hold her like this." is like the cutest way to admit that she's fantasized about them growing old together. It's SO tender.
Dragonfly: so like what's the nature of the whole world and our existence that everyone is so desperate to keep me ignorant of Plume:
@dcellgames.com so this didn't take long to get completely out of hand (in the BEST way) I'm a goddamn musician now. This is sticking. I'm having the best time. I will be in a bad local shoegaze band by year's end.
The tenderness here just twists my heart. Despite everything, Lydia *does* know just how to put the pieces back together when Mada's distraught and shattered. It's a labor of love she can and will always try to do because it's for her.
She doesn't deny the reality, that Mada is changed and growing and not entirely aligned with her anymore, once again there's only grief for the situation, and doing what she knows she can for the Mada she still knows for now, because she can't imagine not doing so. Because she still loves her.
And that self-awareness of her protectiveness is part of the push & pull that is part of why she's so compelling to me. Here she is, wishing for Mada's sake that she were a better partner to someone else so she wouldn't get hurt. Mada is first in Lydia's mind, even above her own desires with Mada.
There's many small moments like this throughout the book and half of them are in this chapter, for all the possessive chaser jokes made about her, she holds herself back in rationality, she knows what parts of her reaction are irrational and to tamp down. She knows the problem is with herself.
I have re-read this chapter maybe dozens of times. And I think it's only not higher because at this point I suspect I could recite it from memory. I can close my eyes and re-experience it all over again.
And the early aftermath too, as all the ignored signs came back in a rushing flood. Like a jigsaw puzzle left scrambled until one day a few pieces move and suddenly everything snapped immediately into its place. No less sad for the circumstance, just a flood of every raw emotion as the dam broke