YellowMustard

@mustardwrites

Your friendly neighbourhood condiment 💛 She/her, bi, early 30s, 🇦🇺 🦘 Unapologetic ofmd girly NSFW content, Minors DNI YellowMustard on Ao3!

825 Siguiendo759 Seguidores2960 Publicaciones

Bluesky

amateur fetish

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y mustardwrites.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Jul 8

rare aesthetic: receiving surprise pirate mail ‼️🫨💖

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Jul 4

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 13

i mean it's #wipwednesday and i would just really like y'all to have this tbh 🥺

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 7

the last time i got high i ate an entire bag of these, made the same dirty joke like 15 times, and was the only one who laughed hysterically at it like 15 times 😌✨ (i hope you got your many bowls of cereal, i want that joy 4 u)

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 7

Part 2, in which i reach pitches that can only be described as ✨gratingly annoying ✨ Not sorry about it, these boys are fucking PRECIOUS, @edteachsbadknee.bsky.social I'm actually going to fucking cry 🥹😭🥺💖

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 3

sometimes when you're writing about goofy kid-drawings of a certain fictional character, you gotta just draw the goofy kid-drawings yourself so you know what it is you're trying to describe anyway I'm going to bed can y'all keep this goober safe for me

stick figure Ed with the biggest unicorn eyes

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 3

MANNN the way I miss my colourful hair era like every single day 😭😭 if I colour it for a cause, like World's Greatest Shave vibes, then they couldn't possibly say no, right 👀😂

baby bec on a beach at night, looking a little spacey (maybe like 19 years old??) green hair

baby bec having a cackle. 18ish? blue hair

baby bec on a beach, probably also 18ish. red hair

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 1

dw i had the IOS voice to text fix this for you 😌

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· May 1

ok but. y'all. i'm gonna cop some flak for this but. it's these bad boys. these are god tier. the extra vanilla flavouring. the sprinks. bring these back to australia, nabisco. i will resort to threats if need be

birthday cake oreos. i can taste this image

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 29

#wipwednesday! more according to plan is starting to come together! they had a talent show 😌 stede is SO fine about it 😌

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 28

i love bullying this man istg 😌 chapter 2 of According to Plan is here, friends! rating has not changed (nor will it change!), but there are a few updated tags and an authors note that you may wanna peep if you're squeamish! xx archiveofourown.org/works/817747...

Summary:

I’d like to begin by taking just the briefest moment to outline our routines, rules and classroom expectations. You’ll have to forgive me for this - you see, the last time a substitute teacher was covering for me, the man caused complete and total anarchy in my classroom. Unfortunately, the experience has made me extremely wary of leaving any other professionals with my class. Of course, I have every faith in you and your ability to do your job! And I certainly don’t mean to undermine your choices based on the way one crass individual conducted himself. However, as I know how my students really do thrive upon routine, I do ask that you consider implementing the following practices today.

Number one:

The important thing is that Stede is nimble and speedy now, when it’s important, when his family needs him. He grabs the first items of clothing his fingers land upon when he opens his closet, whips them on without even taking a second to mirror-check that the colours don’t clash (a particularly noble move, if Stede says so himself). He does a little hop-stumble into his shoes with his toothbrush dangling halfway out of his mouth, and he barely even gives himself time to spit before he’s out the door, keys in one hand and phone in the other, clumsily texting Olu’s personal number to let him know he’s going to have to take the day off.

Did Stede say clumsily? He meant deftly. Cat-like reflexes, of course.

(The message reads as though a cat has accidentally typed it while attempting to knock Stede’s phone from a great height. Stede would argue that this, technically, means the term ‘cat-like’ is still applicable.)

Stede: Hello old. dreadfluyly sorry to do tihs toyou but my daughter is in the mist of mecidal emergency and i will nto be ablke to make it into day. ples can a submarine be organsized for me. I will snede lesson plans as soon as i am a bell. Thank.

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 26

true, i know this bc i'm sitting watching them in the cuck chair like

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 25

the shrine continued 😌 (this isn't even all of it, I also have a shelf-stash of books and microfics and other special things 🥹(2/2)

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 25

hi here is me rambling about my ofmd shrine/Shrine To Friends for five minutes 🥹 (1/2)

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 24

update!! @slagathor420.bsky.social and @cannibalxing.bsky.social these are the CUTEST!! I will be wearing my turtle-crab battle bracelet every day, and now I have the perfect push to start the TBR that's been gathering dust for weeks so I can use my gorgeous bookmark 🥹 thanks folks!! 💛

my hand and wrist, wearing my new green crab vs turtle bracelet and holding my lavender bookmark, with my little ofmd shrine + writing nook in the background. I filmed another unboxing video and then deleted it by accident, WHOOPS

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 23

live stede reaction

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 23

it's still #wipwednesday in the northern hemisphere, According To Plan has been a little slow-going but i promise things are happening 👀

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 20

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 19

RIGHT?? like i KNOW this is a 20-years-in-the-making friendship but like. really?? you LIKE meeee?? wild news, i had no idea?? say it again

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 19

having multiple instances of 'When Your Friend Confirms That You Are In Fact Friends' over the last few days and why does it get me like this EVERY TIME??

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 16

i feel like this was a good choice for the occasion 😌🪨

necklace that reads 'pet rock' in bubble letters. The O in rock is a little chunk of quartz, making the whole pendant a teeny tiny pet rock

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 14

I'm so glad too 🥹🥹 (mostly bc now the fic will write itself. little man's on it 🫡)

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 14

i keep discovering new things I like about him, like the fact that in the right lighting he has body hair 😌

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 13

The most adorable little guy!! I need to find the perfect spot for him. right now he's hanging out in this stupid corn vase but you CAN'T SEE HIS TAIL 😭 so I will need to keep thinking!

merstede hanging out in a goofy vase shaped like a corncob. he does not look very sure about this arrangement

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 13

Tagging @kninjaknitter.bsky.social because they need to see firsthand how much joy this has brought me 🥹🧜🏻I am GIDDY, he is just delightful!!!

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 12

already have this saved as my new go-to reaction image 😌

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 11

it's not wednesday but i'm sharing a wip anyway because you can't tell me what to do 😤 ohhh noooo, is stede taking an emergency day off to look after Alma?? ohh noooooo it sure would be a real shame if he had a total wildcard of a substitute covering his class in his absence. ohh nooooo...

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 9

my $$$ impulse purchase in SG was a reMarkable paper tablet for reasons i myself do not understand, but I've just spent the last hour deeply invested in trying to draw my cat ONE DAY maybe i will make a serious attempt to draw my fave guys in Situations (Sexual) but sadly human features are 🤔😵‍💫❓

a mini paper tablet with a sketch of my cat. reMarkable says it's black, but the "ink" renders more like a navy blue. only her one eye is shaded in green, otherwise it's not coloured. she is deeply imperfect but i tried my best 😌

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 8

sometimes you just gotta take a lil vaycay 😌 but I'm excited to be home and reading to hard launch back into writing again! (AND TO PICK UP MY PARCELS FROM THE POST OFFICE, WHICH MIGHT BE CRAFT AUCTION??? WE SHALL SEE 👀)

YellowMustard@mustardwrites· Apr 5

psa i just need you all to know just how expansive the vibrator pit actually was 🩷❤️