Dayna EM Craig

@narcissistprayer

Belfast | Worst Selling Author | she/her narcissistprayer.com ko-fi.com/daynaemcraig

167 Siguiendo439 Seguidores1063 Publicaciones

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Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 18

Ow ow ow 🤙

White woman trying not to cry kicks her heels to take a photo of her leg tattoo.

Leg with two healed tattoos and a fresh one of a paper bag of sweets.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 18

You can just pay women to hurt you

White woman in a black and white patterned shirt and beige shorts, taking a mirror selfie over her shoulder. She has a stencil for a tattoo on her leg of a 10p mixup.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 10

Enhance..

A section of the above image, cropped to show only the words IRELAND UNITED and FOR OUR KIDS TOMORROW

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 10

Have been forbidden carbs and fat and most calories for three months now so obviously I'm borderline crying about this being my hospital breakfast this morning. Indescribable. We're so back.

Stack of three small pancakes with syrup, powdered sugar, and fresh blueberries on top.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 9

I lived, bitch!

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 9

Sexy paper knickers time, baby! 😌🤙

A white woman with dark hair poses in a hospital gown.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 4

I may be spending twelve hours on a three minute blood test, but I got a sticker from the cute cafe, so was it really a waste?

Dinky little chuwi laptop with various cute stickers.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 4

After 10 years of waiting for my cholecystectomy, the NHS is paying for me to go private! Which means every appointment (like today's) is a 120 mile round trip. It's been a bit of a shambles. Private hospital? Very nice. Coffee shop next to it? Sublime. Everything else? Bin fire of an experience.

A cafe table with laptop, book, charger, and a coffee. In the background, a cute little coffee shop.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 4

Remember her? Feel old now? In the time between writing A Narcissist's Prayer and today, I have: ♥️ Acquired an IP lawyer ♥️ Joined a union ♥️ Moved house twice ♥️ Had three red-flag referrals from my GP ♥️ Hand-built a terrible personal website ♥️ Gone insane and dropped off the face of the earth

Selfie of a white woman in chunky cat-eye glasses, with long brown hair and an enormous forehead.

Same woman, but with more piercings and a fringe hiding half the forehead. She's gained weight, wrinkles, and a better camera.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jun 4

Ten years ago yesterday, I wrote and posted what turned out to be the internet's favourite poem about being an asshole: A Narcissist's Prayer. It's been a hell of a decade. I've been gone for half of it having a big ol' Menty B. Let's catch up.

A Narcissist’s Prayer

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did
You deserved it.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· May 26

Showing up to the Cool Girls Table, late and high,

one of those chuwi book laptops, with a couple of stickers on it. on top lies a tiny ereader, a banana shaped pouch (for scale), and a green pen.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· May 10

BIRTHDAY BUMPS? NO. BIRTHDAY PETS.

A tabby and white cat looking very angry next to a pot of cat grass.

The same cat, with a blurry face, on grey sheets.

The same horrible goblin cat makes a face mid-cough, atop a green blanket.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· May 5

me and who

A fine art print of two persons holding hands across a red surface. There's a cup of coffee, a lighter, and an ashtray on the table. The two have chic short painted nails and one is smoking a pink sobranie cigarette.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Apr 13

Anthropologie I love you but what the fuck is this candle

A green jar candle, with a sunset and the words LOCALS ONLY printed on the glass.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 23

Bossman says to go home. 😔🤙

Little grey squirrel outside under a blue bin.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 19

An Alamy stock image with associated watermark, in which a delivery person in a red t-shirt, proffers you a little keypad thing to sign.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 12

Vane-Tempest thought it was a bad look for him to display a painting of a horse so clearly mistreated, and refused to pay. So, the story goes, Stubbs painted this one, full of mistakes. An absolute petty queen. See if you can spot all the things "wrong" with this picture. 🐎🖼️

A grand staircase in a period property, leading to a landing above which hangs the painting Hambletonian, Rubbing Down.

Hambletonian, Rubbing Down, George Stubbs, 1800. A painting of a horse with groom and attendant, with some subtle impossible details.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 7

INTERNET GOOD FOR ONCE, JOYOUS DAY. Oh this is absolutely tickling me something chronic. Pure delight. I love people.

I've asked an "AI": Could you please show me a strawberry muffin? With a little mouse chef who is all proud of hisself.

The "AI" has responded with a drawing of exactly that. It is tremendous.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 6

not the michael collins the caterpillar

Two M&S Colin The Caterpillar cakes, with shamrocks and green top hats.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 4

CMAT out here getting me to buy O'Neills gear...that woman's gonna rub the border clean off this place. 🫡

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Mar 2

fake kanye tweet: i hate when i wake up with a cat next to me like oh great now i gotta be responsible for this cat

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Feb 12

Got Plastered with mum for Galentine's 😊

Me and my mother, two white women with glasses.

A long view of some plaster wall hangings on a table.

Two plaster wall hangings with ribbons attached.

Detail of a plaster wall hanging, zoomed in on tiny little flowers.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Feb 9

God, even the creature that shits out those clickbait ads meant to look like news knows he's on the out

A shit ad the likes of which you get below articles online: this one has a photo of Keir Starmer going "Sad News About Keir Starmer! Unfortunately, It Is True!"

A shit ad the likes of which you get below articles online: this one has a photo of a head of garlic and reads "Constipation Will Disappear, and Your Body Will Be Cleansed of Slags!"

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jan 21

It Is Thigh Tattoo Season!!! I stg something thighs is in the air. Wishing you many cold washes and for all the paper towels to be like, 1200 thread count soft lol!

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Jan 8

A Google search input where I've typed "how many tattoos do I have to get before I stop having impostor syndrome every time I walk into the studio" with a little angry face

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Dec 25

Oh oops lol, no offence taken- yeah it was very uh, uhh? But then it did mean we get to hear the word whore with the most pathos and syllables since Ralph Cifaretto got hit by one, so I'm less complaining than commenting.

Daniel Craig in one of the Knives out movies, captioned: It makes no damn sense. Compels me though.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Dec 18

I think it might be the money.

Screenshot of a Variety article which reads:

[Variety Interviewer] Who would you want to play in HBO’s live-action “Harry Potter” series?

[Kit Harrington] I’d take on any of them. I’ll be a background extra, I don’t care. I would love to be in that.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Nov 30

undoubtedly

Brad Dourif as Luther Boggs, from an early episode of The X-Files.

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Nov 17

New stress map reveals where poster is on the verge of breaking apart

Dayna EM Craig@narcissistprayer· Nov 2

Underrated approach tbh