dr fart
@neversawitcoming
participation trophy wife
woke up at half 7 on a Saturday morning by the cat throwing up on my bed
my dad lives abroad and we text on whatsapp but every so often he sends me a message from his uk number just to keep it active and it looks like i’m a rejected child in this thread
TAPPED ON THE BUS TWICE BY ACCIDENT BC I DIDNT HEAR IT GO THRU THE FIRST TIME
my little baby Barbara. been here all of 4 hours and already owns the place
my bf was having sleep paralysis trying to call out for me and i was just sitting there doing my makeup and watching tiktoks
£7 pints i used to boast about how cheap it was to drink in belfast 6 measly years ago
pints w my boyfriend on a saturday. might get chicken wings later depends how i feel
an american lady also named Megan has accidentally given my email to a home renovation company in oklahoma and this how i b reading about how her kitchen reno is coming along
imagine cheating at animal crossing when you can sell 23 stonework kitchens while they’re the hot item of the day and feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment
in 2024 my sister woke me up banging on my door in the dead of night. i thought someone died. in reality she was trying random codes on urban outfitters and found one that made everything €10. i got €1200 worth of clothes for €130. everyday i kick myself that i didnt buy more. i miss you SUMMER10
most watery gravy i’ve ever made in my life HOWEVERRRRR third christmas in a row where i’m in charge of dinner and i smashed it again
everyone who works in a client facing role’s favourite time of year has just begun. keep em coming folks