Pause button doing Lucy dirty here. I'm not laughing, you're laughing...you are, I can see your shoulders moving...

Looks very similar in design to my old comprehensive, Malory School. Falling over while running in that cobbled courtyard was not recommended.

Yes I sat up to watch the football, how did you know? #Ingurland #Yawn #Nap

Mel Brooks is the reason that on the rare occasion anyone in my family has to use the word 'abnormal' we pronounce it as 'Abby Normal'. Thanks for all the laughs, Mel. Here's to the next hundred years.

Is this former speechwriter called something like Les Sweeting? Some very smelly bullshit here.

Dave and George assured me it was fine, but I'm not so sure.

Every time the Netherlands play and Brian Brobbey touches the ball, this image flashes through my mind. Send help.

Lots of journalists & columnists make you wonder how they got a job they seem unfit for until you realize they're there to fill column inches and reflect the views of their employer, not because they actually know anything. Churn that shit out day in, day out, without shame, that's the real job.

Flob, and indeed, alob.

Is it me or is Kieth starting to look more and more like Jim Callaghan? Starmer: the James Callaghan of the 21st century, but even more disastrous for the Labour Party.

"Let's mix politicians pandering to racist bigots with the media letting their lies go unchallenged, what could possibly go wrong?"

One of the smartest things I've ever read. That denial or knowing acceptance of racist inequality now coming to you in phrases like 'two tier policing' and 'DEI'. The delusional and dishonest pretence that racism doesn't exist except against white people.

I knew I'd seen that look somewhere before...

All becomes clear once you see Eurovision's Victim Importance Chart.

Expecting the worst, so I'm foregoing the two hours of stress and just looking at the results. #WHUFC #ItsTheHopeThatKillsYa

Pick a Bond from photos you already have on your phone

Her work here is done.

I've never forgiven the Lib-Dems for their part in austerity, I doubt I ever will. They're just another cheek of the same mono-party arse.

We are the New Religious Right.

Back from a glaucoma check-up. I'm still technically a Cyclops, having only one properly functioning eyeball, but apparently it isn't getting any worse, so I'm a happy Cyclops.

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, DC, Marvel, Disney, Pixar, Spielberg, Cameron, Wachowskis, or Ghibli.

Force-feeding with lentils! Babies made from straw! The monarchy replaced with, like, a big cabbage or something!!!1!1! #catsanddogslivingtogether #masshysteria

Playing Crimson Desert. I wanted to change the horse's name, now you can do that, to a blank so I could sing 'I went through Crimson Desert on A Horse With No Name', but the game won't let me. Bah. #crimsondesert

The game that made me want a ZX Spectrum, after a friend brought his round, and we played on a b/w portable.

When you're cleaning the bath, give it a rinse and forget that you set the mixer tap to shower.

Spurs.

Incredible bit of sanctimonious hypocrisy here: to complain about 'the inflammatory depiction of opponents' and then juxtapose Zack Polanski with Tommy Robinson in the very next breath. Cant is the (underused, I think) word. No, I said cant.

Stop two characters and happiness will scroll your post.