Fabian Elfeld

@nocheinautor

I came here to advertise my books and annoy people with my bad opinions, and I'm all out of books. Lange Texte unter www.fabianelfeld.com Alle Pronomen okay.

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Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 11d

#FantasyIndiesAugust 3 Book covers. Well about that: I already showed what art I have for Yanis and it's for the second volume and probably not even the cover, if there ever even will be a cover. Still, here it is again because it is gorgeous. Thank you Fuchskind!

5 characters in an implied picture frame in front of a background that looks roughly like a forest:
Top left: Person turns their back to us, has turned their head so that we can see the left half of their face. Their face shows numerous burns, only a few reddish tufts of hair are left of their head, their nose is completely missing.

Top right: Black-haired person with a dagger in their hand and a hood over their head smiles mischievously.

Centre left: Person with tousled black hair in a green robe holding a staff with a built-in magical glowing stone, looking belligerently in our direction with half-open mouth and wide-open eyes.

Centre right: person with slightly over shoulder-length brown hair and a short full beard looks calmly neutral.

Bottom centre: Minotaur with reddish-brown fur and a ring in their left ear, eyes are not visible as they are hidden under fur. We can only see the nose and mouth.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 12d

Zehntausende verzweifelte Menschen suchen Hilfe bei einem reichen europäischen Staat (der übrigens auch Schuld trägt an ihrer Armut) und werden nicht nur im Stich gelassen, sondern angegriffen und getötet. Journalismus:

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 14d

#TBBPrompt #WritingPrompt Well that I can do. It might be less impressive than the sandy one, but it has the added advantage of not being stolen from Glen Cook. Here you go:

Of course there's no zoo in Düsseldorf. You probably already knew that. Apparently everyone knows it except clueless Hamburg lawyers . The taxi driver was the first to tell me.
“You mean the Aquazoo in the Löbbecke Museum,” they called back over their shoulder after I had boarded.
“Isn’t there a real one?” I asked unnecessarily.
“Oh, it’s plenty real,” I promptly received the well-deserved reply, “Absolutely worth seeing. I haven’t been inside myself yet, but my mum goes twice a week. She says you simply have to see the desert landscape.”
Desert landscape. In an aquarium. No matter. Not my problem.
"Well," I said. "Then I guess I'll have to go there too, won’t I?"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 15d

Oooh, this is fun, I have a very old story I love dearly which is, I swear, not stolen from Glen Cook's Black Company at all, it is set in our world in the present, mostly, and goes in a completely differen direction. The sandy parts, though, are a bit of a ... homage. #WritingPrompt #TBBPrompt

Very, very far away, if that means anything, a tireless wind blows across an endless plain of black sand. The plain has no boundaries, and yet it is a prison. In a way. A body hangs from a cross. Its hands and feet are nailed to it with iridescent, multicol-ored nails. With the sand in which it is buried up to its hips, covering its skin and filling its mouth and nose, it is driven by the wind, which blows steadily in the same direction in this endless desert. Time does not exist on the plain of black sand, but if it did, it would pass agonizingly slowly. The sand-covered body hangs motionless from its cross, which floats on the river of black sand. It dreams, and it thinks, and it remem-bers. Where time does not exist, it is all one. In the beginning, it raged and screamed, but sand does not hear, and sand does not see. Sand flows and sand buries, but sand is not interested. What is a beginning, anyway, if there is no time? It is immortality. Of a kind.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 18d

"Von Oben" sollte eigentlich eine Kurzgeschichte werden. Hat nicht geklappt.

Screenshot aus einem Textverarbeitungsprogramm: "Seite 385 von 385, 157962 Wörter"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 18d

"Gottverdammt du ARSCHLOCH wusstest, dass die Tagesschau-Leute uns filmen und das hättest du uns nicht vielleicht auch mal sagen können du

Ein Bild von drei Polizist*innen mit MP und Schutzweste, aber ohne Helm oder Maske, vor einem Garten mit Sonnenblumen. Eine*r der drei steht im Vordergrund, schaut professionell konzentiert und insgesamt sehr fotogen, die zwei im Hintergrund sind unscharf und gucken so unvorteilhaft, wie Leute halt gucken, wenn jemand ein Foto von ihnen macht, ohne dass sie es merken, während sie gerade was anderes machen.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 21d

Whenever you add an image to a post, there's that little button that says "+ALT". If you click that, a layover opens where you can type alt-text that describes the image. You can click on the image attached to this post for an example. Screenreaders use this to read an image descriptions to vision-

A screenshot of the upper left part of a grey-haired white persons face with the "+ALT" button in the upper left corner of the image

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 28d

Falls sowas euer Ding ist, sind meine Geschichten vielleicht euer Ding. Falls nicht, wahrscheinlich eher nicht. #EhrlicheWerbung #Authentizität #IhrKönntMirVertrauen #KauftMeinVeganesKürbisshampoo

„Ähja“, sagte die Vermieterin und schaute auf das Taschentuch, steckte es ein, schaute auf ihre Schuhe. „Wie soll ich das erklären? ... also, irgendwer hat wohl ... Also, denkense sich bitte gar nix dabei, dass muss ja nix heißen. Kann ja alles Mögliche sein. Ich denk halt, vielleicht diese Wölfe, die se jetzt unbedingt überall wieder haben wollen, oder so.“
Marni bemerkte, wie ihr Gesicht immer verwirrter wurde, und zwang sich, ihre Mimik wieder zu zügeln, um der offensichtlich irgendwie betroffenen Frau nicht das Gefühl zu vermitteln, sie würde sich über sie lustig machen.
„Also, jedenfalls muss einer von denen die Muhnica gerissen haben.“
„Muhnica?“
Marni wusste nicht, ob sie lachen oder weinen oder sich gruseln oder ekeln oder die Kamera suchen sollte.
„Ach naja“, sagte die Vermieterin, „Den Namen hat sich der Hagen ausgedacht, der hat da immer so einen komischen Humor, das ist ja...“
„Ist ... War Muhnica eine Kuh, oder wie?“
Die Vermieterin nickte.
„Und die ist tot?“, fragte Marni.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· 29d

Journalist*innen, wenn die Regierung kranke Menschen einfach sterben lassen will:

Folgen. Ein Gesundheitsökonom erkennt aber auch Chancen.
Jens Eberl
Von Jens Eberl, WDR

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 15

Na freut ihr euch auch schon so?

"Entlastungskabinett" tagt: Eine Ministerrunde, die das Leben einfacher machen soll

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 12

Was

@the.huepfbeuteltier.org has added you to the "Blocker aus Herdentrieb..Extremistenmob" moderation list

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 10

#BluePitHype Oh no, I shared my cover art too early! Luckily I still have these marvelous Chibis by the fantastic @ralkaras.bsky.social What do you mean I could share my own art? I don't art. I only type. And I can barely manage that.

A cartoony white person with huge cute blue eyes in a far too large head, wearing a police overall with a face mask an a helmet, visor open, arms crossed, looking down on the viewer, floating with slightly bent legs.

A cartoony white grey-haired person with huge cute grey eyes in a far too large head, wearing a grey suit with a red tie, floating with slightly bent legs.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 9

I guess this one's easier for me. First off, I mean, come on, just based on vibes? (Art by the wonderful @aurulin.bsky.social) Secondly, Tanja is impulsive, greedy and dissatisfied with her life and her job and in a great position to threaten others, so when the opportunity comes, she takes it.

Two people stand facing each other in front of a wood-panelled wall. Diffuse light is coming from above.
The person on the right is middle-aged, has light brown hair with gray mixed in in a rather business-like middle-length cut, they are wearing a grey suit and an N95 respirator and one leather briefcase in their hand. They are looking up dubiously at the person on the left, a huge person in (German) SWAT police gear complete with black mask and helmet, visor up, standing with arms crossed and one knee slightly bent, looking down skeptically at the other person.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 4

Das ist schon sehr ... repräsentativ für alles, zurzeit.

Projekt für junge Arbeitslose: Ein Ausweg aus dem Teufelskreis?
Abwertung, Misserfolg und Rückzug: Wenn junge Menschen in die Arbeitslosigkeit abrutschen, kann ein Neuanfang schwierig sein. In Pirmasens soll ein Pilotprojekt helfen - mit Strafen in der Hinterhand.

Meme-Template, in dem Joey aus der Serie Friends (eine weiße Person mit kurzen dunklen Haaren) in einer Küche sitzt und im ersten Panel zufrieden zu nicken scheint. Im zweiten sind seine Augen weit aufgerissen, er schaut erschrocken.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 4

Ich begreife nicht, wie irgendwer diesen Müll lesen und dabei noch das Gefühl haben kann "Oh ja, dieser Journalismus ist gut und wichtig, ich bin so froh, dass ich meine Beiträge dafür bezahle."

250 Jahre Unabhängigkeit USA: Eine verpasste Chance für ein gespaltenes Land?

250 Jahre Unabhängigkeitserklärung - das könnte Anlass sein für Feiern, die die USA wieder zusammenführen. Doch das Gegenteil ist der Fall. Ein Streit um Baumaßnahmen überschattet den Jahrestag - und die Selbstdarstellung Trumps. Von Anne Schneider. mehr

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 3

Leftist gamer meme

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jul 3

#DGB so

Patrick Steward als Jean-Luc Picard (glatzköpfige weiße Person ca. 50) in der berühmten "The Line Must Be Drawn Here!"-Szene, er schaut sehr angriffslustig mit gefletschten Zähnen.
Text: "The comment must be made here! This far, not much further. Not without more comments at least!"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 22

Have I mentioned recently that I have this sort-of borderlands fan fiction I'm writing?

"Okay, then you can decide now whether you want to sign a new contract or whether you want to continue without me."
She raised her head again and let her gaze roam ostentatiously over the smoking battlefield.
"Shall I give you a hint what I would do if I were you?" She laughed out loud. "Oh, boy, I just loooove how I'm not in your shoes. You have a really lousy negotiating position, you know that?"
"You can't be serious."
"What, because I want to get paid for my work?"
"Because you would let a fellow human being die just for the sake of a little more ..."
"Oh, that, yes, I'm serious."

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 20

taz macht, was taz halt so macht.

„Den Populisten Macht zu geben und sie durch Enttäuschung der Wähler ihre Unterstützung verlieren zu lassen, hat in Finnland einigermaßen funktioniert“, sagt Manuel Müller. Besonders die desaströse wirtschaftliche Lage in Finnland habe den Regierungsparteien in den Umfragen schwer zugesetzt.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 18

Liket dies, wenn auch euch oft eine sogenannte KI-Angst nachgesagt wird.

Konkurrenz am Arbeitsmarkt: Müssen Berufsanfänger Künstliche Intelligenz fürchten?

KI-Modelle können einfache Routinetätigkeiten ersetzen - und somit vor allem Berufseinsteigern Konkurrenz machen. Jungen Menschen wird daher oft eine sogenannte KI-Angst nachgesagt. Zu Recht? Von Till Bücker. mehr

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 18

Ich bitte zu beachten, dass die Tagesschau bei "ganz anderes Level" nicht etwa Tim Cook oder irgendein Unternehmen oder irgendeinen Plagiatsmaschinen-Werbeclown zitiert, sondern sich diese Behauptung vollständig zu eigen macht und als Tagesschau selbst dahintersteht. Ich weiß, das ist dasselbe.

Apple-Chef Tim Cook: KI-Boom macht iPhones teurer.

Künstliche Intelligenz hebt Smartphones noch einmal auf ein ganz anderes Level. Doch das treibt auch die Kosten bei der Entwicklung und Produktion nach oben. Marktführer Apple kündigt nun Preiserhöhungen für iPhones und weitere Produkte an. mehr

Goose chase meme. A skeptical looking cartoon goose says "What level is that?" in the first panel. In the second panel, the same goose is chasing a person, saying: "What level, Tagesschau?"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 16

Haven't published any snippets in a while, have I? This is from my WIP "From Above", which is not a zimbie novel. As such.

“Can you get out, Henri, or do you need a hand?”
“I think I’m okay ...”
“Don’t go to any trouble on my account,” the Colonel said. “Would you like me to call mobility assistance for you?”
He drew his pistol; Romy looked down at his hand and the weapon, and she saw the blood. It was the same gun she had used to knock him out earlier. Didn’t look like he’d even tried to clean it.
“Is it loaded now?” she asked.
He grinned like a boy caught stealing cookies.
“No,” he said. “But it’s the gesture that counts. The others,” he turned back to his soldiers, “are.”
“I’m getting out now,” Henri muttered.
Resch nodded with satisfaction and gestured toward the barn, indicating they should go first.
“They better hope I don’t turn into a zombie,” Henri hissed to Romy as they shuffled slowly toward the dark building. “I’d bite them so bad.”

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 8

Ja, es ist schon irgendwie eine Liebesgeschichte. Glaube ich. Also. Vielleicht verstehe ich auch die Abgrenzungen nur nicht so genau. War schon immer mein Problem.

„Zwölf Jahre, Gustav. Sie ist ungefähr 30 und ich bin 42. Das sind dann etwa 12 Jahre. Erinnere mich dran, dass ich dir eine Rechner-App für dein Handy schenke, bevor ich fliege.“
„Ach dafür gibts eine App?“
„Wissen die wenigsten. Gustav, ich weiß, was du mir zu sagen versuchst, ich habs verstanden, du kannst aufhören.“
„Weißt du noch, wie wir uns immer zusammen über diese alten Säcke lustig gemacht haben, die davon fantasieren, dass die Kellnerin mit ihnen flirtet oder die Parkscheinkontrolleurin vom Ordnungsamt oder die Staatsanwältin?“
„Das warst vor allem du, aber ich habe dir mindestens implizit zugestimmt, das weiß ich noch.“
„Und was zur Hölle denkst du denn bitte, was du da machst, Konrad? Was denkst du, was du machst? Glaubst du, du bist der poetische Literaturprofessor aus dem Houellebecq-Roman, den seine junge Studentin so unfassbar attraktiv findet, dass sie auch ohne die guten Noten dreimal am Tag mit ihm-“
„Bist du sicher, dass das von Houellebecq ist?“
„Das ist doch jetzt völlig egal, es gibt hundert solcher Bücher und was denken wir über die Leute, die die schreiben?“
„Ich glaube, sie will keinen Sex mit mir, hat sie zumindest gesagt, und ich hätte eigentlich auch eher Angst, wenn ich drüber nachdenke. Hilft das?“
Ich hörte ihn ein paar Mal ein- und ausatmen.
„Wie war das mit der Polizei?“, fragte er schließlich. „Hast du die Vorladung schon bekommen?“

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 8

Journalismus, Symbolbild

Liveblog:
Krieg in Nahost ++ US-Militär beschießt Tanker im Golf von Oman ++
22:00 Uhr:
Ende des Liveblogs.
21:13 Uhr:
Lasst uns zusammensetzen und reden.
20:43 Uhr:
ARD-Korrespondentin: Waffenruhe heißt meist nur weniger Beschuss.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 2

#JuneJottings Day2, favourite character. I'm bad at picking favourites, but why not give it a try? It might be Ossip. Because he's Ossip.

"I've handed the case over," I said. "Sorry, you'll have to threaten another solicitor now."
"You say that," Ossip mused, "but you realise that we are free to choose whom we threaten, insofar as a concept like freedom makes any sense at all, but I'd rather not discuss that. The topic lends itself too much to pretentious deepities, even though it has little philosophical value."
"You know what, I've always thought so too."
For a while, I heard only silence from the other end. Perhaps he was nodding thoughtfully, I imagined.
"Get us the file," he said. "You have until tomorrow."

"People can forgive each other," Ossip replied. "But first they have to want to. That's a necessary condition, but not a sufficient one."
"And you think she wants that?" I asked.
"Yes," Ossip replied.
"And... what about the other conditions that make it sufficient?"
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops - at all.
I suppressed a laugh and a sobat the same time.
“Things with feathers,” I began, but he had already hung up.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 1

Sometimew I wonder if it would be funny to do a little tiktok series explaining mechabellum chat messages to people who have no idea how that kind of game works.

Twitch chat message from lapizdota: "headbutt tempo is pretty big for ass"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 1

#JuneJottings I was trying to get back into posting more about writing and less about people who annoy me politically, so let's try that! I have like a dozen WIPs, so I'll limit myself to one today. It's my little intermezzo that has grown to be the longest single novel I have ever written.

Hannes
“Okay,” Tanja said. “I. Okay.” She paced back and forth, ran her hand through her hair, shook her head and laughed. Then she stopped, turned to me and grinned. “We can do it,” she said. “We can do it. We'll find a country that doesn't extradite to Germany. I'm sure there's a way to Google that. We'll get an apartment – I've got a bit of money now. Not real money, not like I'd hoped, but enough to get an apartment and ... see what happens next. And ...”
I didn't feel that much less overwhelmed by the situation than she apparently did, but I just sat there not knowing what to say. In that sense, it was almost a relief for me that Tanja seemed to be processing her overload by talking on and on.
“... well, of course you also have to say whether you can imagine it that way or how you want it. Fuck, I never wanted ... No, I don't want to say that, well, you already know that I never wanted children, and I know that you're 15, you're not a child, I know, but the situation is still a bit ... I don't want you to feel that I don't want to do this with you. I just want to say that I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm going to need your help. I don't even have my own life under control, but ...” She laughed helplessly. “I don't even know why I think I have to help you, you seem pretty well organised to me.” She touched her forehead again, turned around, took two steps to the window, turned back to me, shaking her head and laughing. “What – how do you think we should do this?”

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· Jun 1

Ich halt das alles nicht aus welche Maske war da denn bitte noch? Die Mitte wird die Nazis noch demaskieren, wenn sie vor den Gewehren an der Wand steht, und danach wahrscheinlich noch testamentarisch.

Post von Norbert Maria Schüssler, @nmschuessler.bsky.social:
"Die Maske ist gefallen: Björn Höcke und die Anatomie des neuen Faschismus"

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· May 31

I just realised my old novel series "Fallen" is so much "The Boys, but Fantasy" that one might suspect me of having stolen the idea, if it hadn't been written decades before "The Boys" and also clearly stolen from "Black Comany".

"What happens now?" Kara asked, while gloomily - and entirely in vain – trying to wipe away the heavy drops that the violent gusts were driving into her face and eyes. "Where are we e-eeeehhh!"
A gust of wind seized her, lifted her off her feet, and whirled her upward. At least, that was what she assumed; for within just a few moments, she had lost all sense of where up or down might be. The fierce currents of air roared so loudly in her ears that she couldn't even be sure if she was screaming, as she was tossed back and forth, to and fro - just like the leaves in the little whirlwinds she had loved watching so much as a child.
She had never stopped to consider how the leaves might feel about it.
A flash of lightning briefly illuminated the darkness, and, along with the ensuing clap of thunder, a bright, lilting laugh rang out from within the storm; then, quite suddenly, Kara found herself enveloped in a pair of arms, and her trajectory stabilized ever so slightly. She ceased spinning around multiple axes simultaneously and, in the distance below her, caught a fleeting glimpse of the inn’s lights just as they vanished from sight.
Storm was still laughing as her hands slid down Kara’s arms, slowly spreading them wide.
"Spread your legs a little wider, too," she heard the Fallen One’s voice say. "And try to hold that position." Storm’s breath tickled against her ear, and Kara instinctively shook her head.
Storm misinterpreted the gesture.
"Yes, you can do it," she said, quite like a parent teaching their child to swim, and correcting Kara’s posture with gentle pressure.
Kara felt tempted to turn around and look at her, just to see if this was truly the same person who had just killed a young man for the offence of interrupting her.

Fabian Elfeld@nocheinautor· May 25

#TBBCountdown Nobody knows if it's a lovestory and yes acab but she is kind of funny sometimes but then again she really shouldn't have threatened him and his family to get the money but just maybe that doesn't mean it's over because he's kind of like that and they get along really well otherwise.