Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons

@only-fons

I'm a middle-aged, married, gay bear comedian sharing life’s quirks through stand-up. 🎤🐻 Grand Rapids, MI, with humor touching on marriage, corporate life & a bit of weightlifting. 🌈🎭 Email: only.fons.comedy@gmail.com Next Shows: www.alfonsmueller.com

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Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· 26d

Political satire writes itself these days. This clip is from Balancing the Humors, a benefit show supporting mental health and wellness initiatives through Doctors Without Borders. Mental health deserves compassion. Power deserves scrutiny. #StandUpComedy #PoliticalComedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· 26d

Double feature tonight.* *Translation: two open mics. My career isn’t that successful yet. 😅 🎤 7:30 PM — Bold Cigar Lounge 🎤 8:00 PM — Dr. Grins If you wanna support my comedy: ☕ buymeacoffee.com/onlyfons #StandUpComedy #GrandRapids

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· 27d

Nothing says Midwest summer like looking outside and wondering if someone is smoking 8 million witches… or briskets. 🌫️🔥🇨🇦 #StandUpComedy #GrandRapids #Michigan #WildfireSmoke #CanadianWildfires

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· 28d

I've noticed a certain... visual trend lately. So I asked my most loyal follower: "Kooper... make AI flyer." He gave it his best. At this point I'm honestly not sure which flyers are his anymore. 🐶💩 #Comedy #Pug

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jul 12

West Michigan roll call 👋 Who's joining me tonight? 📍 Chicago Beef Joint, Grand Rapids 🕖 7 PM 🎟️ Free If you're in Grand Rapids, Holland, Muskegon, Kalamazoo, Grand Haven, Wyoming, Kentwood, or nearby, come laugh with us. Reply with your town if you're coming. #StandUpComedy #WestMichigan

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jul 11

My Dog Kollette doing the pragmatic thing, taking up the responsibility all of us have and interacts with the great and very alive Mitch McConnell! Give this Man some Peace, (to rest in it)! #MAGA #Cult #MitchMcConnell

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jul 8

Comedy writing is basically scientific research. Yesterday’s results: ✅ Some jokes worked. 💣 Some completely bombed. 😈 Some got called “NASTY!” Next Show: 🎳Kingpin of Comedy🏆 Competition on Sunday! If you’re in Grand Rapids or West Michigan, come vote. Free show. #StandUpComedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jul 7

Achievement unlocked: FULL DADDY MODE 🪵🛶🇺🇸 Includes: ✔️ Chopping wood ✔️ Paddle board crack ✔️ Fireworks ✔️ Questionable athleticism #Comedy #Summer #PureMichigan #FourthOfJuly #Vacation

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jul 1

Pride Month is over. Good thing YouTube doesn't have a 30-day limit. 🌈 Here's my A and I and AI joke from the Out Loud Comedy Festival. Full set is now on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhoW... #StandUpComedy #Pride #Queer

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 30

Saturdays show “That’s a Choice” at Water Tower Distillery in Ypsilanti in 58 s.. 🍻🎤 Yes… the first joke is about that water tower. 🌭😅 But then it’s 50-ish seconds of getting worse. 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 Very mustachio. Definitely NSFW. 🌭🇩🇪🧔🏻 So please repost. 😈 #StandUpComedy #Comedy #NSFW #SelfRoast #Comedian

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 27

Tonight in Ypsilanti: See me super-gaying in the Water Tower Distillery ! #Comedy #Showcase #Standup #Ypsilanti

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 26

Tonight - Back at Brewery Outre for some funny Shenanigans . Come on by - have a laugh! #StandUp #Kalamazoo #Michigan

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 26

My husband bought me these poop bags for my birthday. I laughed far more than any grown adult should. Go poo-poo! 🐶🐕‍🦺💩 Tomorrow: first show in Ypsilanti. Hopefully my comedy is as mature as my birthday gifts.

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 24

As a chunky German bear, every stage entrance is technically a miracle. PARKOUR! ...cake will be served! 🎂 Live this Saturday: @ That's A Choice Comedy Showcase,Ypsilanti. 🕢 7:30 PM 🎟️ Free show All Info: www.alfonsmueller.com #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #Ypsilanti #Comedy #Parkour

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 22

Pride Month 🌈 is almost over. So naturally I started imagining a Pride Celebration for the unfunny majority of Culture Warriors. It gets worse from there. 😬 4 shows. 1 joke. Dozens of bad ideas. #StandUpComedy #PoliticalComedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 18

🍕🎤 TONIGHT IN KALAMAZOO 🎤🍕 Pizza Party Comedy at Old Dog Tavern. Free comedy. Free pizza slices. A room full of people making perfect use of a Thursday night. Show starts at 8 PM. Come hungry. #StandUpComedy #KalamazooComedy #MichiganComedy #PizzaPartyComedy #LiveComedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 16

Apparently some people celebrate major career achievements by discussing Michelle Obama’s genitals. 🤦‍♂️ Live Wednesday • Comedy at River City • River City Saloon • 9 PM • Grand Rapids🎤 #StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #UFC #AMAB

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 15

A clip from the Cassopolis Comedy Festival. Turns out a small Bavarian village and the United States have very different ideas about celebrating anniversaries. 🇩🇪🇺🇸 Tonight: 📍 The Comedy Project 🕖 7 PM #StandUpComedy #ComedyClip #MichiganComedy #GermanComedian #GrandRapids

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 8

Mac’s Monday Comedy Night – Lansing Trying out 7 minutes of new comedy tonight at Mac’s Bar. Mid #Pride Fatigue Set🎤

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 7

Tonight Show im Douglas, MI - near #Saugatuck: Have the Sunday Scaries but Queer! Woosah, Douglas, MI 7th June - 7:00 pm With me in Old Men Drag! Tickets: 🎟️ www.eventbrite.com/e/catch-of-t...

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 4

🎤Cassopolis Comedy Festival recap: I spent my 1-minute Comedy Rumble set defending beer bellies, swim rings, and corn-fed daddies. Big laughs. 3rd place. No regrets. 🛟 Keep swiping. Not all the wobbling in this carousel comes from the big boys. #StandUp #Comedy #Musclechub 2/2

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 4

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· Jun 1

Happy Pride, Misfits 🌈 The first Pride was a riot.And the fight for all queer communities continues — all 13 months per year. 🪩🔥 I’ll keep showing up for our siblings on and off stage. 🎤🏳️‍🌈 Shows:www.alfonsmueller.com #Pride #RiotGear #Riot

Orange Camouflage Basehat with ISA flag and a queer version of the “Don’t tread on me!” Icon.
Alfons Mueller is wearing the cap. He smiles with his green eyes.

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 28

#BattleCreek — tonight I’m closing out Cereal City Chuckle Chamber 🎤 German migrant comedy. Midwestern chaos. The accent of a Bond villain ordering fried food. 🕗 8 PM 📍 One Nation Tap & Table 🎟️ Free admission If you’re nearby, come laugh at my life decisions in person. #StandUpComedy #Michigan

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 26

📣SHAMELESS SELFPROMO 🔊: 🎤 5 shows, 3 cities, 1 epic week of my Comedy in West Michigan! 🌅 Don’t miss out: Cassopolis Comedy Festival, Newaygo Pride, Cereal City Chuckle Chamber premiere show - all details at alfonsmueller.com! #WestMichigan #StandUp #Comedy #ComedyFestival #OnlyFons

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 25

Wet-Tshirt Party at the Alma Highland Games! It was the Hammer! Also: Minor Underbelly for the Fans! #Highlandgames #WetChub #Underbelly #WhatDidMyFaceDo ?

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 21

A little throwback to one of my recent sets: Daddy’s vs Virgins + Questionable fashion choices always included! Today at BOLD Cigar Lounge. 🍸💨 7:30pm Come hang out. #StandUpComedy #GrandRapids #MichiganComedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 8

30 seconds from yesterday’s set at Russo’s 🎤 The opener hit hard enough that it deserved a reel.Back tonight at Brewery Outre in Kalamazoo with a fantastic lineup 🍻 #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #Kalamazoo #Comedy

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 7

Tonight’s Show at the Russo Ristorante, Tanger Outlets Grand Rapids, MI! Good Food & Bad Jokes! #Standup #Comedy #OnlyFons #GrandRapids

Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons@only-fons· May 7

Great night at River City Saloon 🎤The set somehow connected the Met Gala, fuel prices, politics, and “DadBod Underbelly” into one chaotic German experience 🇩🇪😅 Tomorrow I’m at Ristorante Russo at 7:30 PM. Come hungry for carbs and stupid jokes. 🍝 #LiveComedy #Michigan #DadBod #OnlyFons