Chuck Groundhog
@only-si-chuck
Artist In Residence - Staten Island Zoo. Opinions expressed here are the correct ones.
Photo: Mitch McConnell refused to take any questions as he was carried on a trip to Whole Foods.
He saw that he could make money from brine. This was the fence to his estate.
Let’s send Susan Collins packing. The only thing she is qualified to do is a one woman show about the life of actress Charlotte Rae from The Facts of Life.
Photo: Mitch McConnell will discuss his new book, Over My Dead Body, tomorrow evening at Politics and Prose Bookstore.
Ken Paxton: 🎶 I want to report that Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
All I know is that Madeline is always there the minute something goes wrong. #cinemon
What do you prefer to watch instead of Trump’s speech? I prefer to watch Pink Lady and Jeff. (1980)
Lindsey Graham died so he could appear on Face the Nation. Instead, he’ll be appearing on Face The Satan.
Live at the Arts Center With A Shower Curtain Covering The Name Graham Platner Sings! 🎶 They provide experiential learning at prep school And then take the keys to your car when you don’t learn the rules A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be…
Coming soon to the Center for the Performing Arts With A Shower Curtain Covering Its Name: Mame Starring Dan Patrick in the title role Tickets are still available. We beg you.
Come to the Great American State Fair. Jump in! The water’s fine!
James A. Garfield: If I have to hear this jerk talk one more time, I’m going to request to be assassinated again. 25th Amendment now!
I’m trying to match this paint chip so I can paint my bedroom American Flag Blue.
Eric Trump Sings Live at the Arts Center With A Shower Curtain Covering Its Name: 🎶 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then.
Photo: Arrest made of vandal accused of putting algae in the reflecting pool.
I’m thinking of dipping my hair in the reflecting pool. Let the hydrogen peroxide lighten my hair. What could go wrong?
Just In: Greenwater Services CEO is indicted for destroying the Lincoln reflecting pool.
Trey Gowdy: I hate to say this, but this deal with Iran makes my hair stand on end.
Gen. Washington: The President will live in the White House. Men: And we’ll treasure the White House forever & ever. Gen. Washington: Well, actually we’ll demolish a third of it. I’ll attend a UFC match there.
The construction workers were a little slow at removing Trump’s name from The Kennedy Center. Maybe they shouldn’t have hired the construction company below.