Chris - Tortured Systems Engineer™️
@optesterchris
Navy (ret) Surface Warfare Officer & missile defender with a side of fries. I taught Zach Mayo everything he knows. A perfectly flawed human. Opinions = my own.
I can hear the song of a roving ice cream truck... It beckons to me like a siren's call. I must resist.
Honestly, I have a lot of in common with the cyclops from the Odyssey. We both live alone. We both love fluffy animals, cheese, sleeping, and Greek food.
🚨 Breaking News 🚨 It’s been confirmed that dogs are still good
We keep you alive to serve this… Choose one of the following: • Ship • Company Name • Government Agency • Military Unit • Pack of wild children • Other Row well, and live. ~ Judah Ben-Hur
I’m pleased to report I have no idea what I am doing but I’m doing it really well!
Made the mistake of looking at my work phone and checking my calendar for Monday:
“Gather around, children. I’m going to tell you about the summer of 2026. There was diarrhea lettuce, heat domes, a war that isn’t a war, a ceasefire that didn’t cease fire, and Canadian wildfires. But we also had Jimothy to give us hope”
Zola has opinions about the current air quality…
The Bangles need to re-record “Hazy Shade of Winter” to reflect today
If you are my friends, I will take you to get pizza and dessert.
The dog days of summer discontent Sun out, tongues out.
I work hard so my dog can live her best life
After 6 different states, 22 days, and a whole lotta miles my world is back in its proper place.
Me as I woke up this morning and headed out the door for the office:
🚨🚨🚨 Public Service Announcement 🚨🚨🚨 There is roughly 50-60 days until Pumpkin Spice Latte returns. Prepare yourself accordingly. The spice must flow…
1826, the 50th Anniversary of Independence, a delegation of Quincy town leaders called on the ailing President John Adams. They had come to ask for a toast. “I will give you,” Adams said, “Independence forever!” Asked if he would like to add more, he replied, “Not a word.”
I can’t come outside right now. I’m kinda busy and I like not melting in 106°F / 40% humidity.
King George III - You'll be back, soon, you'll see You'll remember you belong to me… Oceans rise, empires fall We have seen each other through it all And when push comes to shove I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love! George Washington - Aye, you can try
Two brothers One with a PhD in biology and biochemistry The other with a PhD in systems engineering And the one of the best things was spending time with him at the top of a mountain
Little known lore about me and my family: - My father helped put together the Allosaurus fragilis skeleton at the Natural History Museum of Utah