ruin stones

🎶 hold me closer tiny panther 🎶

Meanwhile, I don’t know what part of my workout bench that little piece holds together: I guess I’ll find out!

Like, don’t pass moral judgment on people who can’t keep cat butts off their dining tables 100% of the time, Internet

He’s jumping up on the table a lot less, thank goodness, but

Got the rabies vaccine for my cat, now he has litter on his nose.

Certified Soul Realignment Practitioner

Allergist: Try to avoid your allergens as much as possible on allergy shot days. My allergens:

why

my assistant, who is a kitten, searched “loooooooooooooooooop ;/“

got the kitten vaccinated and now he’s backwards

two unrelated podcasts on my playlist today are about BallMaxxing

This dude tries to block us from leaving (bit me when I tried to move him) and runs to the door when he hears the keys in the lock. My diagnosis is that he is a dog.

Hard-boiled mall detective Don Brodka

who wore it best

the Really About Something Elseness is strong here

First of all, the curse has nothing to do with our cute-as-a-button mayor. We are cursed because to honor Brian Wilson after his death last summer, CitiField blasted *Kokomo* during a game. Secondly, …. …. …. it’s 11 games in a row.

have I been mandela-effected or what

Sherb gave my kid a Poop Hat

I have stumbled across The Tackiest Thing Possible

Where do I find half a pint of None?

Instagram has been showing me various examples Massage But They Set You On Fire, and, yes, ok

everything is terrible but it’s a fine day for boiling stuff (candied citrus, chicken wings for stock)

My Roomba’s name is a relic of a few brief years of getting to imagine that I might get to be a person again 🤪