"Are you a cool priest?" "No, I'm a big reader with no friends."

Good-night, sweet princess; And flights of angels with Little Mermaid bubble wands sing thee to thy rest.

What? He has never once done anything wrong!

we beat the chumps, uh, champs by an average of 28 points each time

Only 19% chud? Proud of myself. 😋

It's not a "male loneliness epidemic", it's a male whining epidemic. Oh, how I long for the return of the stiff upper lip.

They have arrived. And just like that, I'm back living on the north side again.

elote pizza 🤤

#Knicks #TrumpCurse

Yup.

the WWDC logo looks an awful lot like those things that Ken used to throw around on G-FORCE

Great job, Donny 🤡

I need a big, strong alpha male Republican explain to me how they ended up supporting the softest beta bitch on the planet

"Joe, remember when we both hosted shitty game shows on NBC?"

This would be embarrassing, if the Republican Party had any shame left

Eating McDonald's in a garishly gilded office. The Trumps truly are the Beverly Hillbillies.

"What are you DOING, stepbro?"

The New York Times is right on top of this ten-year-old story.

Not only did you elect the Antichrist, you wore his merch

KABOOM

Celsius can : me at Orangetheory : 🥵

Tune into "Garglin' Asphalt with RFK Jr."!

We could really use Christopher Walken right about now

Easter wishes from an adult and a 7-year-old

Notice who's getting fired first? Watch your back, Tulsi Gabbard 😆

Can we, uh, find out what else sickens him?

I'm not religious, but this terribly plausible

If a Democrat (or anyone, really) wore a baseball cap to a military transfer, Republicans would lose their fucking minds.