Art!

@punsultant

Pun contest host, former award-winning escape room owner, nervously queer, Star Trek, adhd, embroidery, intersectional feminist, etc 🖖🎺🇵🇸🦻🏻 punslam.com 📍St. Paul he/him

426 Siguiendo763 Seguidores4202 Publicaciones

Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y punsultant.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Art!@punsultant· 5d

🤔

A depiction of Link from the Legend of Zelda as seen from behind. In front of him is a black and purple character called Shadow Link who otherwise looks exactly like Link. Shadow Link is jumping to attack regular Link.

Art!@punsultant· 7d

We’re doing lock screens!

A screenshot of my iPhone lock screen showing the time (9:05) and the temperature (79 degrees). It also shows an idyllic green field with a blue sky and puffy white clouds that you may remember from the turn of the 21st century

Art!@punsultant· 14d

Just Egg™️ has no cholesterol omg

A close up picture of a Just Egg carton, which is a darkish yellow with white and lettering and black boxes to demonstrate how much cholesterol hi Ken eggs have. It also has thin white lines to demonstrate how much cholesterol Just Eggs have, which is zero. Above the line is written 0 mg

Art!@punsultant· 14d

Jimothy is in Roku City

A picture of the Roku screensaver, known as Roku City. It is a somewhat cartoonish riverside city rendered in shades of purple and black with multiple buildings and advertisements. In the middle bottom of the screen is the silhouette of Jimothy, the deformed and delightful raccoon from Seattle who has stolen all of our hearts. He either did not consent to this appearance or has an incredible agent

Art!@punsultant· 28d

Minneapolis! Tomorrow night at Club Underground is PUNDAMONIUM! Come enjoy some puns or get into the competition yourself. If you want to compete, be sure to go to punslam.com to get the full list of potential topics doors @ 7 puns @ 8 SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT FOR PUNS!

A picture of Li Shang from the animated Disney movie Mulan. He is pointing a staff you and his mouth is open as he is singing.

Top text: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Bottom text: TO COMPETE WITH PUNS

Art!@punsultant· Jul 12

Pretty sure it’s just this

Art!@punsultant· Jul 11

Reposted with alt text because Jesus Christ

A picture in black and white taken from below of Marlon Brando on the left and Paul Newman on the right, taken in front of what I’m guessing is a state house. They are both wearing black suits with white shirts and dark ties. They both look unnaturally handsome seriously just unfairly good looking

Art!@punsultant· Jul 10

Bean Appétit

A close up picture of a can of Bush’s baked beans that reads “SOME SAY BAKED BEANS ARE BEST WITH HOT DOGS, SOME SAY BURGERS. WE SAY THE CONTRASTING FLAVORS OF SWEET BAKED BEANS AND ANY OF YOUR SAVORY FAVORITES BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER.

Bean Appétit”

Art!@punsultant· Jul 8

I don't mean to bring back flag discourse, but I have found the definitive solution

The new Minnesota flag with a dark blue K-looking shape on the left and a light blue field on the right. Where the eight-point star should be in the dark blue area is the old very racist Minnesota state seal.

Art!@punsultant· Jul 1

“I will feel it for both of us”

A screenshot of Star Trek: The Next Generation showing Data, a golden human shaped android and his daughter, Lal, a white skinned, brown haired human shaped android. Data looks dispassionately at Lal while Lal looks sad and tired

Art!@punsultant· Jun 20

This is what I went with and it worked!

A picture of two spatulas holding a very long sandwich in a pan

Art!@punsultant· Jun 20

It’s Reuben Time

A top down picture of a perfectly grilled Reuben (which is technically on sourdough so it’s not reeeeeeally officially a Reuben but I do not care!)

Art!@punsultant· Jun 20

I have no idea how I’m going to flip this bad boy but you better believe I’m going to give it my best shot

A picture from above of a mostly assembled Reuben sitting on a plate. The bread is so but it takes up fully half the plate, which is a dinner plate. It’s a big honkin sandwich is what I’m saying

Art!@punsultant· Jun 20

This has to stop

A screenshot of a Wikipedia search history showing results for:

Jake Johnson
American actor (born 1978)

Jack Johnson (musician)
American singer-songwriter (born 1975)

Joshua Jackson
Canadian and American actor (born 1978)

Josh Johnson (comedian)
American comedian and writer (born 1990)

Art!@punsultant· Jun 14

I’m not carrying my shit in a Walmart, fuck you

Picture of a fabric tote bag that says “paper or plastic? Neither” and under that is says “Walmart”

Art!@punsultant· Jun 14

Jesus fucking Christ

A Shopify ad that says “sell in ai chats”

Art!@punsultant· Jun 14

But seriously, look at all the grime that’s coming up off this thing!!

Close up picture of a stovetop with the burner equipment removed. It is coated in white foam that has spots of brown that used to be grease stick to the surface

Art!@punsultant· Jun 10

Art!@punsultant· Jun 7

Spots and I think you’re a great lizard parent and also a massively supportive member of your (our) community! You’re a delight!

A selfie of me, a white man with a slightly graying dark brown beard, holding a tan and brown spotted leopard gecko in front of a window that’s providing exceptional lighting

Art!@punsultant· May 31

My kid’s apple sauce pouch comes with a free Baby Yoda toy!

A picture of my hand holding the wide-winged lid of an apple sauce pouch. The whole thing is the same green color as Yoda. There is a small cylinder in the center that goes over the spout of the pouch. The wings are relatively wide and tapered up at the end, looking like the Grogu character from the Mandalorian

Art!@punsultant· May 31

A picture taken from a distance of two cars parked on the grass of a city park with camping chairs around them. One of the cars still has its tail lights on!

Art!@punsultant· May 30

This is the only Young Sheldon I recognize

A still from an episode of the cartoon Garfield and Friends showing the character Sheldon, an egg with two little chicken feet sticking out the bottom of the egg

Art!@punsultant· May 29

Ok I think great though

An overhead picture of a pair of pink speckled crocs with many charms adorning them

Art!@punsultant· May 27

Reposted with alt text I’m not sure how legit the scientific critique is here, but Winona’s Big Brown Brontosaurus

Screenshot of a post of dubious origin that reads “This is an X-ray of a beaver's tail. If we only knew beavers through fossil remains, we would almost certainly reconstruct them incorrectly. Now think about how this applies to dinosaurs.”

Below the text are two images side by side: a live never looking cute standing on its hind legs appearing to shake a person’s hand and an X-ray of a beaver’s tail showing a thin tail bone with a shadow of its actual tail

Art!@punsultant· May 25

Reskeeted with alt text

A photo of me, a white man with a brown beard. The photo is taken from slightly below and outdoors in front of a large window-based building. My eyes are closed and I’m laughing while holding my hand to my beard. I’m wearing a brown wool flat cap and a brown leather jacket.

Art!@punsultant· May 24

FUCK

A screenshot of a Wikipedia article that reads: “Fans speculated ahead of the album's release that Yankovic would parody "Let It Go", from the Disney film Frozen, due to the song's popularity. He considered making a Frozen parody titled "Make It So" about Star Trek: The Next Generation, but decided not to after discovering such a parody already existed. Yankovic observed that the existing spoof "had gotten enough attention online to make the Disney legal department ask them to take it down! | couldn't think of an idea that I liked as much as 'Make It So', so... I gave up!”

Art!@punsultant· May 23

I have been doing a lot of spring cleaning, and getting this little electric toothbrush thing is the best $17 I’ve ever spent. I’ve used it to scrub so many surfaces that had little marks or slightly stubborn residue and it’s like magic

A picture of my hand holding an electric cleaning tool with an angled head with bristles that spins. It looks very similar to an electric toothbrush, but the head is much larger

Art!@punsultant· May 22

I know the m&ms aren’t supposed to be sexualized but Jesus Christ

A picture of a bag of peanut butter m&ms featuring two anthropomorphic m&ms, one red and one green. The red guy is the smaller of the two and I suspect he is supposed to represent a plain m&m. He has a saucy smirk on his face and is raising his hand with one finger extended, the tip of which is covered in peanut butter. The green one is femme-coded and is slightly bigger, likely representing a peanut butter m&ms. She is holding a jar of peanut butter, but we all know that’s not where the red guy’s finger was

Art!@punsultant· May 21

I’m a member of the Science Museum of Minnesota and I have my membership card in my phone’s wallet for easy access. However, what this means in practice is that anytime I’m within about a mile of the Science Museum, a badge pops up that I can’t dismiss and it drives me NUTS

A screenshot of my lock screen with a badge at the bottom that says “Welcome to the Science Museum of Minnesota” with no way to dismiss it ahhhhhh

Art!@punsultant· May 20

Arrested Development has poisoned my brain