robertus (@robertus) · DIRTY

robertus

@robertus

Copy editor ordinaire, he/him, hockey official, hobby medievalist, sometime writer of words in a sequence, New Yorker in Maryland, sublime dot idealist at the gee mail.

1263 Siguiendo859 Seguidores5214 Publicaciones

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robertus@robertus· 8d

readin over the trade details like

robertus@robertus· 9d

From the Hogfather "that's a sword, swords aren't safe for children" comic. A close up of Death, dressed as Santa Claus, takes up the left half of the frame. The text reads "That will be an important lesson"

robertus@robertus· 15d

My kid is 15 and I think of this meme pretty much every single day

A picture of a man wearing a helmet. A long and knotted white beard flows out from underneath. He wears a red shawl. The edges of a shield poke in from the bottom right. The text reads, in decending order, "Pick your battles. Pick fewer battles than that. Put some battles back. That's still too many battles."

robertus@robertus· 19d

Ludicrous speed, go!

robertus@robertus· 23d

A three-panel meme.
Top: Over-the shoulder shot of Gandalf stands at Bilbo's door. The text is Bilbo saying "No thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations"
Middle: A shot of Macho Man Randy Savage in Gandalf's hat, holding up a little cup of coffee creamer. The text reads "And what about the cream of the crop?"
Bottom: Back to the over-the-shoulder shot. Bilbo has thrown the door open and stands in the doorway with a big smile. The text reads "Macho-mandalf!"

robertus@robertus· 28d

robertus@robertus· 29d

Lineup card for opening night:

The Hollywood Squares set:
Wally Cox - Rose Marie - Tony Randall
Florence Henderson - Paul Lynde - Ross Martin
Davide Steinberg - Charo - Glenn Ford

Florence Henderson usually plays right wing but Jim J. Bullock is on IR.

robertus@robertus· Jul 10

From Burn After Reading, Brad Pitt in a closet has a shit-eating grin and is about to get blasted by George Clooney, as one does

robertus@robertus· Jul 9

"Huh, I wonder who Jerry O'Connell is married to, and like, that's it, that's the headline

A headline and subhead which reads:

Jerry O'Connell weighs in on that conversation with wife Rebecca Romijn's ex-husband John Stamos
The actors linked up at Howie Mandel's birthday party in November.

robertus@robertus· Jun 29

robertus@robertus· Jun 26

Twinsies!

My results from the thing, showing that I too am akin to Zohran Mamdani

robertus@robertus· Jun 20

Rolling into the Costco an hour early like

From The Escapist, the Glorious PC Master Race. A man made out of circles and ovals with an incredible head of wind-blown hair.

robertus@robertus· Jun 19

Me, whenever I see a Savanah Bananas clip

Wherein Chris from the Family Guy has spraypainted on a brick wall "That's enough, John Mayer."

robertus@robertus· Jun 18

From the Good Place, Michael (Ted Danson) stands next to Janet (D'Arcy Carden) and exclaims "Jason figured it out? Jason?"

robertus@robertus· Jun 18

At the Reflecting Pool, and guys, this doesn't look right

From Labyrinth, the Bog of Eternal Stench

robertus@robertus· Jun 18

Palpatine's entire back story was already covered by the He-Man Christmas Special.

From the He-Man Christmas special, a downtrodden skeletor says "I don't like to feel good. I like to feel evil."

robertus@robertus· Jun 16

I am reminded of perhaps the greatest Tweet of all time:

a tweet from The Chicago Bears, which reads "That's more like it. Happy St. Patrick's day, Chicago!" over a picture of the Chicago river dyed orange.

robertus@robertus· Jun 16

This AI slop is on his campaign webpage

A screengrab of an AI slop image of Bob Cockey standing at a lectern in front of a crowd of Body Snatchers, several of whom are doing the prayerful hands outstretched thing. There are two flags in the background, neither of them quite right. Bob is looking off to stage left and waving at nothing in particular. None of this is real. This guy wants to run the county.

robertus@robertus· Jun 16

It boggles my mind that this person is running for office as a Democrat in the year of Our Lord two thousand and twenty six.

"This county was built by farmers, shopkeepers, hairdressers, everybody," Cockey said. "Politicians didn't build this country or this county. We need to get back to the center, not too far left, not too far right -- back to common sense, the center."

robertus@robertus· Jun 15

Like Ethan Hawke, Timothee Chalamet, and young Matt Damon climbed into that teleporter from The Fly

A screengrab showing a Uruguayan player, possibly Maxi Araujo but I didn't catch his name or number, because I am bad at screengrabs.

robertus@robertus· Jun 15

A tweet from Troy Johnson which reads:

You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me."

Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."

robertus@robertus· Jun 14

robertus@robertus· Jun 13

This was my jam

Beneath a cloudy blue sky, an excavator sits unoccupied on a field of dirt. Much to my dismay, it is not in the act of excavating. It lies waiting.

robertus@robertus· Jun 2

My best is 72-10 and I only needed a ragtag crew of journeymen like Lebron James and Wilt Chamberlain

A team I put together that went 72 and 10 (an A-plus rating):
Point Guard: Lebron James
Small Forward: George Gervin
Shooting Guard: Bojan Bogdanovic
Power Forward: All Harrington
Center: Wilt Chamberlain

robertus@robertus· May 22

Checkin in on Habs/Canes

The Onion "Sickos" guy in French, wearing a powdered wig and poofy shirt. His label reads "Pervers" and he is saying "Oui.. hon hon hon... oui!"

robertus@robertus· May 19

A tweet from Jon Bois, which reads "why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter"

robertus@robertus· May 16

A portrait of Willam the Conqueror. The text reads "Look at me. Look at me. I am the English now."

robertus@robertus· May 15

From The Lord of the Rings, the "Gondor Calls for Aid" scene, except Aragorn and Theoden have broccoli hair and sport crucifix earrings
Aragorn: Chat, the beacon notification just hit. Gondor's asking for a carry.
Theoden: Say less.

robertus@robertus· Apr 23

[Mickey Mouse voice]: Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man.

The threshold to my crawlspace, with an assortment of catch-and-release and snap traps, aligned such that - one would think - our uninvited guests would likely cross at least one of 'em. There are a couple bins and bags of things too it's a crawlspace c'mon man Marie Kondo don't live here

robertus@robertus· Apr 21

It has been a long and injury-riddled road, but I put in a mile this morning for the first time in years so I got that going for me.

A panel from Achewood. On the left, a shirtless Ray towels himself off. Roast Beef reads a magazine in a chair.
Ray: Man, but does it suck to run a mile! Back me up, Beef!
Beef: It cold sucks to run a mile

A screenshot from my Garmin app, showing that I ran a smidge over 1.25 miles, at an average pace of 11:34 per mile, in a total time of 14 minutes and 33 seconds. I burned 187 total calories.