Are we having brunch in Montgomery, because…

The world needs to rid itself of predators who tell women to ‘smile more’. F all the way off 🐖

A children’s book publisher donated dozens of Elon Musk biographies to distribute to classrooms. I put them in the art teacher stacks to use for collage. The kids will know what to do. #Resist

That Mitch-head is quite….

Owners: Leash your gates. 😐

Can Michelle wear a skirt picturing a copy of his birth certificate?

Oh look. Trump is rescheduling his fake a$$asination attempt.

Mar a Lago ballrooms are the equivalent of a Spirit Halloween Superstore.

The trophy they handed him…

✋STFU. You know what’s inhumane? Encouraging a mad man to murder people around the world because you’re a spineless weasel with no moral compass.

My descendants not listening because there are kittens in a basket.

Schrödinger’s Mitch

Spoke to my friend Mitch McConnell today

Losers.

He lived to be 192 though. So that’s cool.

🤣 Dear 1980’s Marketing Department, Ain’t nobody reading all that.

I love this shirt. I’ll be able to wear a small after picking my teeth with Bezos femur.

Anna Nicole spitting truth.

Willow is a huge Knicks fan. 😐

After Wemby’s post-Game 4 interview, he hopped into a bicycle basket and flew home. #NBA #GoKnicks #NBAFinals

Breaking News: Walter Geoffrey has canceled his Trump Freedom Fest concert.

The Fyre Fest sandwich had a longer shelf life than this concert line-up. Byeee….

This turd is lucky the Packers don’t play them in the regular season because come Week 5 Micah Parsons is going to have some pent up sacking rage he’ll be wanting to express.

As one does….

Breaking: Emmit Otter and his Jug Band have backed out of Trump’s Freedom Fyre Fest.

😐

When your head ferret starts to decompose and no one tells you.

Rudy.