Josh

@saltedjosh

Writer. Filmmaker. Culer. Metro Detroiter. Apprentice Guillotine Builder. Nazi Hater. Demon Whisperer. Bidet Evangelist.

1049 Siguiendo986 Seguidores6117 Publicaciones

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Josh@saltedjosh· 23d

Eight players from one club, all World Cup champions. Visça El Barça!

Lamine, Pedri, Ferran, Gavi, Joan Garcia, Olmo, Eric, and Cubarsi in their Spain kits, Gavi holding the World Cup trophy.

Josh@saltedjosh· 27d

lol, clown shit at Bluesky hq

Bullshit email from the fascists who run Bluesky:

"Hi, We've reviewed a Post on your account @saltedjosh.bsky.social and found it violates Bluesky's Community Guidelines on Respectful Discourse. We create a safe space for discussion by prohibiting threats and content meant to scare or intimidate people.

For example:

• Do not threaten others with death, serious harm, or express that others should be hurt or killed.
• Do not promote, glorify, or incite violence against individuals or groups.
• Do not share graphic violent content designed to shock, disturb, or intimidate others.

The following Post was removed:

'we need more data centers to mysteriously burn down'

Your post was classified as a Moderate Violation, adding 2 strikes to your account. You now have 2 total strikes.

Please note that at 4 strikes, your account will be suspended for 3 days.

If you believe this action was taken in error, you can appeal within 14 days by emailing moderation@blueskyweb.xyz. Please include context about why you believe this decision was incorrect.

Bluesky Moderation Team"

lol

Josh@saltedjosh· 27d

wtf is this graphic from fox? jfc, they only got one out of three players right for the 3rd place game graphic. total dipshittery

Screenshot from the Fox World Cup website for France vs England in the third place game. But the players are Mbappe, Pulisic, and Ronaldo. The jizzwizzles from Amerikkka and Portugal aren't even in that stupid game. The people at Fox must snort a lot of hallucinogenic butt fungus.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jul 12

spoken like a true coward

Josh@saltedjosh· Jul 6

The one and only true Ronaldo. The only footballer who could remain a legend after sporting the worst hairstyle in the history of the sport. R9>CR7 now and forever.

OG Brazilian Ronaldo in his yellow and green Brazil kit, with that horrific triangle of hair on his forehead with the rest shaved off.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jul 1

C'mon Senegal, take down them Belgians in the next 15 minutes.

screenshots of Colin Farrell in IN BRUGES. Captions of his dialogue read:
"What's Belgium famous for? Chocolates and child abuse. And they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids."

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 29

They should be more scared.

A wild-eyed sweaty Aragorn in Fellowship of the Ring saying, "Not nearly frightened enough."

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 20

Good list except Bing Bong was already a character in INSIDE OUT and his death left more scars than any horror movie ever could.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 20

A photo of Jürgen Klopp, clad in black like Westley in the Princess Bride, sipping a beverage. His quote from L'Equipe says: "Football is being held hostage by executives in air-conditioned offices. These so-called 'cooling breaks' were sold to us as a shield for the players' well-being, a noble sword against the heat. But in reality? It's nothing more than a gilded cage built for sponsors."

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 16

Glad I didn’t get these containers mixed up when adding condiments to my sandwich.

A bottle of Cholula hot sauce on a kitchen counter next to a tube of heavy duty liquid nails.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 15

Happy Pedri Day to all who celebrate!

Spanish footballer Pedri smiling on the pitch in his red, blue, and yellow Spain kit.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 9

I’m the Salonnière apparently.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 5

With deep shame, probably JUST ONE OF THE GUYS because it was on HBO nonstop when I was a teen.

Josh@saltedjosh· Jun 1

Sad to see Ansu finally leave Barcelona permanently, but happy for his success in France. Tragic how injuries derailed him at such a young age. I hope he continues hitting bangers there and has a brilliant career.

Ansu Fari pumping his fist in the red and white Monaco kit with the phrase HERE WE GO.

Ansu Fati in the red and blue checkered Barcelona kit, arms outstretched in celebration on the pitch.

Josh@saltedjosh· May 31

even the Costco discount packages are beyond ridiculous what asshole is paying this? $3400 for group stage games? fuck off, I can fly to Barcelona, visit a world class city and see most of the Spain team at the Camp Nou for less than that

Josh@saltedjosh· May 30

Repost with your first crush (Apparently I have a thing for women who fight nazis and can wrangle a monkey)

Josh@saltedjosh· May 26

choosing violence against inbox zero people

screenshot of my email inbox that says 21,558 messages, 6,568 unread

Josh@saltedjosh· May 24

Reminded me of this.

a Calvin and Hobbes comic. In the first panel Calvin points and says "Look a firefly!" In the next two panels Hobbes watches him squeeze his butt cheeks. In the final panel, Hobbes says, "Your rear wasn't lit if that's what you're wondering." Calvin says, "I can't even tell what muscle to flex."

Josh@saltedjosh· May 23

On this day in 2005 I was in Iceland.

A collage of shots of Iceland mountains, waterfalls and existential regrets about coming back to America

Josh@saltedjosh· May 19

a photo of a cuban sandwich
text on the image reads:
"EAT THE BILLIONAIRES
Turn Mark Cuban into a Cuban Sandwich"

Josh@saltedjosh· May 17

Of all the teammate tributes to Robert Lewandowski's departure, Raphinha calling him 'Roberthino' made me the most weepy-eyed.

Raphinha hits Lewandowski on the pitch, both in their red and blue Barça kits.

Josh@saltedjosh· May 16

Lewy came during dark times and left with multiple championships.

Robert Lewandowski in his red and blue Barça kit giving thumbs up.

Robert Lewandowski in his Olivia Rodrigo edition Barça kit with his hand on the La Liga trophy.

Robert Lewandowski lifts the La Liga trophy over his head.

Josh@saltedjosh· May 14

this show looks like shit nick frost looks like he grabbed a hagrid costume and wig from spirit halloween on his way to set cheap facsimile of robbie coltrane

robbie coltrane as Hagrid, in wardrobe that looks lived in and real, next to nick frost, who looks like pasty ass as hagrid

Josh@saltedjosh· May 10

Leo 💙❤️

Screenshot of Leo Messi’s instagram story with a photo of the Barcelona team that says “Visca el Barça!” And “Campions de La Liga”

Josh@saltedjosh· May 8

shit, forgot the second item on my shopping list always forget something

a shopping list that reads:
cat litter
self respect
soda
cucumbers

Josh@saltedjosh· May 6

"I felt a great joyous eruption in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in joy, and a little shit-ass boy was suddenly silenced. I feel something wonderful has happened."

Alec Guinness as Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars.

Josh@saltedjosh· May 6

Sounds like Ansu Fati's move to Monaco is about to become permanent. It's bittersweet. I'm happy he found redemption in a new start there, but always hoped he'd find it in Barcelona. Hope he has a great career and has no more catastrophic injuries.

a smiling Ansu Fati with outstretched arms as he celebrates on the pitch in his red and white Monaco kit

Josh@saltedjosh· May 5

Hey, Antoine Griezmann: Does this photo go too hard? 🤭🤭🤭

Josh@saltedjosh· May 5

Hey, Antoine Griezmann: Does this photo go too hard? 🤭🤭🤭

Griezmann, a bitch-ass bitch, huffs and puffs on the pitch against arsenal

Josh@saltedjosh· May 5

indeed