Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· 22d HER: I just put the baby down for his nap
ME: maybe he’ll actually sleep this time so we can have sex
BABY:
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· 29d Mother Nature is NOT healing
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Jul 7 hell no I was wearing this trusty bastard
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· May 26 This is the dog in question
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· May 11 In case you ever need to provide a fake name to get out of trouble
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· May 6 The only thing Mar a Lago is good for
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Apr 3 New sign for the White House just dropped
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Dec 9 Amazon’s sure got their finger on the holiday pulse
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Nov 24 It’s so over for you fools
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Nov 18 The first thing that came to mind when I saw this ad
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Nov 17 COP: you’re under arrest
ME: 😏
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Nov 6 Is it real or is it cake challenge
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Oct 17 Where am I supposed to find money like this
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Sep 24 When you tryna do work but bae keeps lifting up her petticoat
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Sep 22 This is the finest spam text I’ve ever received
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Sep 11 Did anyone really believe he’d stop with couches
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Aug 26 My proctologist just texted this to me and included a lol
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Aug 22 This should be the new Cracker Barrel logo
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Jul 10 This is my retirement plan
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· Jun 26 Bro we’re babies and we’re jacked WE GOT THIS
Swim Jeans 👖@shortsleevesuit· May 9 Ready to serve at the pleasure of the Pope