Tortured Actuaries Department

@skipsandwichdx

🥪Puts a little skip in your step ✝️Games, queer stuff, Methodism 🏳️‍⚧️She/Her/Fastest Mario 🐘Fedi: @SkipSandwichDX@Dice.Camp

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Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 28

Inaugural monthly Mahjong game night was a success.

Photo of a card table with a game of Mahjong set up.

Photo of a card table with a game of Mahjong concluded, tiles face up across the table

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 13

Pictured: Swalwell and Gonzales on the House floor in front of the CSPAN cameras.

Screenshot from The Hunger Games of Peeta and Katniss holding nightlock berries in their hands

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 8

@dril tweet: so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Nov 8

I occasionally like to look at my five top emoji and read it like a tarot spread

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 6

Trying to figure out a yard sign, what do we think?

Picture of the "in this house we believe" sign but it says:
"In this house we believe missing middle will cause flooding and also wil cause sewage to back up into your home"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Jul 18

Just got this sweet birthday greeting from a friend.

Greeting card with a picture of Winnie the Pooh and piglet holding balloons while sitting on a log.
The text reads "A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday - and my every day be another wonderful secret."

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 6

Now that I'm into fountain pens I'm going to start shamelessly aestheticposting again. Sermon notes from the sound booth.

Photo of a leather journal open with a fountain pen in the center, sitting next to a sound board in a tech booth.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Jan 22

lmao I'm used to AFAB being used to mean "I'm not comfortable rooming with trans women but I want to sound progressive about it", and I guess I'd rather people be up front than be surprised by it when I get there, but all caps? TWO exclamation marks?! Babe just use the slur.

Screenshot of a Facebook post that says "hotel is 3 minutes from [redacted] (across the street)
Please DM if interested!
ONLY AFABS please!!

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Jan 15

I heard some of y'all are scared of busses? (top 5% with just ten months since i had to switch cards in November) #MetroRewind

Screenshot of a grid of stats tilted "Metro Rewind"

Top 6% of metro customers
Top 13% of rail customers
Top 5% of bus customers
258 Trips
1,119 miles traveled
344.6 kg of CO2 captured
25 stations visited
Personality: The Explorer

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Dec 30

And by inspirational video transcripts I mean the whole "Say yes to being a MILF" talk from ContraPoints' Envy video because I rewatch that and think about it regularly.

Photo of a handwritten transcript labeled "Quote: Envy, Contrapoints". It reads:

At a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your own mind, and decide to stop being an accomplice in your own annihilation. Since we keep referencing "Paradise Lost":

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

Yes gawd. So, I ask myself, what kind of mind do I want to be? Do I want to obsess over what I lack? Concede society's judgment of my inferiority? Become a self-pitying, self-hating, envious, resentful little nothing? Or, do I want to get off the goddamn floor, stop chasing the dragon, and say yes to life?

The answer of course, is that I long to return to the sweet womb of my dark mother. But we're not gonna do that, because there's plenty of time to numb the pain after you die.

Also, nothing is less attractive than an envious, resentful, self-pitying person. It's beyond a personality flaw, it's a personality deformity that can ruin whatever chance at happiness you have. So in the short time you're alive, you have to discover that which is noble in yourself, and say yes to it. You know, don't say no to getting older. Say yes to being a MILF.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Dec 30

Fresh notebooks for 2025. Red one in the middle is a 365-page one that will be used for journaling, devotional notes, and daily use. The hardcover ones on the sides will be "Commonplace Book", yellow for faith/motivation/art, purple for politics/activism/work (Have labeled them Why and How)

Photo of three notebooks on a desk.
On the left is a yellow hardback with stickers of characters from the video game Earthbound in the corners, a red softcover, and a purple hardcover with a "Go Car Free" sticker in the corner.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Dec 16

Every time the worship band plays a Christmas hymn with a modern chorus added

Screenshot of the Godfather with the subtitle "Look how they massacred my boy"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Dec 11

y'all get to see me then.

Selfie photo of a woman in a purple sweater dress and striped black-and-white cardigan in an office. Behind her is a desk with christmas lights lining the wall and a small nativity scene on top of a free-standing bookshelf.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Dec 5

She's been doing it for a few days now.

Screenshot of a video from Nancy Mace's Twitter account where she is looking in a visitor log book and saying "Oh, this is the trannies"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Nov 28

Time to assemble!

Photo of a kitchen counter with a boul of masa, a pot of soaking corn husks, and a bowl of pork roast in a red sauce.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Nov 27

Parents commenting on their kids' pre-transition photos

Screenshot of Persona 4 in which Yukiko is looking at the camera with an emotionless PS2 face; a dialogue box says "Yukiko looks happy"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Nov 12

Think I might just leave that as my last tweet.

QRT of a post by Rick Perlstein (@RickPerlstein).
The quoted tweet says "Don't quit Twitter. Ignoring fascist spaces is bad. Silence implies assent, shuts down witness of the lies they're devisings & the plans they're hatching. Don't initiate threads; the algo will just bury them. Tell the truth in threads, like leafletting an occupied French village."

The quote tweet by @SkipSandwich says "This is why I never abandoned my Nude Africa account"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Nov 11

THANK

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Oct 14

Edit of Mike Primavera's tweet that says:
"My Party Chair told me The GOP keep stealing our median signs, so I asked how many signs he has and he said he just goes to Pete Gibson and gets a new sign afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding median signs to the the GOP and then our comms director started crying"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 22

Our bishop recommended the VA UMC conference read the book Soul Feast so I'm leading a class on it at my church. Gonna use this as the cover image on our event page.

Picture of a Magic the Gathering card titled "Soul Feast" : costs 3 uncolored and two black mana, effect is "Target player loses 4 life and you gain 4 life."
Flavor text says:
"I smell the tang of a mortal's fresh blood. I hear it sliding wetly beneath its skin. My hunger cannot refuse the invitation."
attributed to Yuri, Sengir vampire

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 16

That's not too bad. Also come y'all you could auto-populate this one with Alt text.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 16

i snapped this quick as a "come say hi at the Falls Church Festival" social post on Saturday. Looking back at it, i look hot as shit here?

selfie photo of a woman taken outdoors in front of a government building - she is wearing a red and white dot patterned top and a denim jacket, her makeup is in orange and red fall colors.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 15

I have joined the bigass wooden cutting board club and i adore it

photo of a kitchen counter with a large wooden cutting board made of stripes of different colored wood with grooves along the side.

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Sep 1

Did you know the @arlingtondems.bsky.social chili cookoff is tomorrow and you can still get your gold card at early bird prices? You get to eat this chili I'm making. I think it's worth it.

photo of a kitchen counter with cubes of beef, assorted chili peppers, onions, a can of crushed tomatoes, black beans, and a bottle of Yuengling

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Jul 22

Remember to take context into account when reading scripture.

Photo of a palm tree bearing coconuts on a beach, with Hebrews 12:1 imposed on top of it, reading:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Jun 25

Hadn't updated the quote board at work in a while. Found inspo in my rewatch of I Saw the TV Glow.

photo of a quote board that says "There is Still Time"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· May 10

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

Screenshot of the Worms: Armageddon lobby

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· May 10

Tweet from @ProBirdRights that says "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?"

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 19

i actually prefer this sign style to it just saying "NOT IN SERVICE" and making me ask which bus it is.

photo of a bus with a piece of paper taped to the windshield with "23B - Crystal City" written in Sharpie

Tortured Actuaries Department@skipsandwichdx· Apr 16

Do you think they're gonna pretend to be serious about "let kids be gender non-conforming without transing them" or do we go straight to "this is your final notice to cut your son's hair or the Ministry of Gender will charge you with Unlicensed Social Transition of a Minor"