Spudfella

@spudfella

Amateur nobody. He/They. I like dogs and food and do words good.

841 Siguiendo256 Seguidores1738 Publicaciones

Bluesky

amateur

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y spudfella.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Spudfella@spudfella· 10d

Uploading to The Trans Community for general purpose use

Topps Allen & Ginter 2019 baseball card.

The card is Egg. Shows a reguar chicken egg hovering in a baseball field. Looks like Camden Yards, background is of the crowd in left field. Watercolor.

Spudfella@spudfella· 13d

I took this picture and it looks prettier than I first thought

A small wooden platform to a raised meter box outside a warehouse

Spudfella@spudfella· 13d

A older woman at the farmer's market today was (understandly) upset because she thought a man in a tank top has a white supremacist tattoo on their shoulder. Dear reader, the tattoo:

Loss.jpg, as a minimalist array of lines divided into quadrants.

Man, can I just say writing alt text has challenged me in philosophical ways I could have never pondered if I just ignored this great little accessibility feature.

When I write descriptions I write them the way I imagine sighted people would read them, but doesn't that defeat the point of these things?

Like, how the hell do I describe a minimalist depiction of loss.jpg to someone who has no visual concept of what a line is?

How the heck do I describe minimalism?

Okay, so it's like the visual equivalent of a brief audio cue that you can use to shorthand a much more complicated idea.

Like instead of describing a lurid sex scene, you just say bow-chika-bow-wow. Like that's minimalist. Or if you want to convey your love of Island in the Sun by Weezer but instead of playing the whole song you just go, "hip hip".

Every time I try to explain it, I hit on a word like, line, or panel, or color, or angle, and I have to stop because I realize a person who does not have a sense of vision has a completely different understanunderstanding of those words.

It's like that, but with vision. A visual shorthand. It's a way to condense a meme into the smallest box possible.

So what is the minimalist loSs.jpg? It's the visual equivalent to a one second sound clip that immediately gives away the song.

So how does that apply to loss.jpg?

Spudfella@spudfella· 14d

An ad featuring John Mackintosh, The Toffee King.

Picture of a dude in a suit with an incredible mustache - we are talking three full inches out over the lips on either side - and the ad goes, I am John Mackintosh the Toffee King. I want you to try it once. I find that jf I can get Americans to try only one package of MACKINTOSH'S TOFEE the Old English Candy, they will want more.

Spudfella@spudfella· Jul 4

Shot and chaser

Top post is a guy rallying against monogamy.

Beneath, in an unrelated post, a woman asks what the biggest red flag ever is

Spudfella@spudfella· May 23

Star Ship Enterprise beneath title card, "Technology with Terrifying Implications Utterly Lost on Basically Merchant Mariners"

Spudfella@spudfella· May 22

Did you know that sometimes cicadas emerge wearing little sunglasses they made themselves

A cicada on a tree, with a mask over their eyes that looks like sunglasses. It's a biological part of the cicada.

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 22

Boom

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 20

I would like to donate this bit of baseball lore to the trans community. They will know what to do with it.

Baseball card with EGG taking the field.

EGG. EGG. EGG.

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 17

8s it literally, unironically, this?

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 9

Is Gilbert (pronounced Jill-behr) Dauterive a queer icon? Delicate French-Cajun patois. Delicious affinity for suits. Lives in Louisiana manor with three belles. Self-published zine of "letters" he describes as his legacy. John Waters mustache. Misattributes Tennessee Williams to Lucretius.

Gentleman in an off-white (bleached bone) suit with pale blue vest, white collar shirt, and solid red tie, standing with one arm across his chest support the other arm raised up with his hand supporting his cheek, pinky bent to the side of his mouth beneath a pencil mustache.

His eyebrows are raised in a sympathetic gaze. His hair is brown and kept short to the skull, save for the generous swoop over the top of the forehead meant to salvage a slightly receding hairline. There is a weight to it, likely from a life spent under the wet and heaving bayou sun.

There is a small mole above his left dimple. His eyes are tired and small, but he is unmistakenly handsome. A man who is thin by way of his own manners and dignities.

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 5

HINGE YOU NEED TO TELL ME YOU ARE ADDING FREAKING TEXT TO MY MESSAGE WHEN I SEND A ROSE

A message I sent to a Hinge match with the part added by Hinge in brackets:

"What natural womders do you like most around here? [I'm giving you a rose, i hope to talk to you soon]

Spudfella@spudfella· Mar 19

It is with great regret that I must report a friend got me started on Satchel Paige

An extremely long post detailing why Satchel Paige is the GOAT

Spudfella@spudfella· Sep 14

WHO WANTS TO SEE MY SOUP

Honeynut squash soup garnished with a sprig of rosemary, served with crusty bread

A simmering post of honeynut squash soup as a mix of cropped sage, rosemary, and white pepper is stirred in

Me adding bacon to the soup on the stove. My face is also present. I look pretty stoked.

Spudfella@spudfella· Sep 6

Thinking about him

Movie poster for the 1978 exploitation film, MR. NO LEGS.

Taglines, from top to bottom:
THE COPS WANT TO GET HIM
THE MOB WANTS TO HIT HIM
BUT NO OE WANTS TO MEET HIM FACE TO FACE

The Amazing MR. NO LEGS

You've never seen anyone like him!

Don't cross him, or he'll cut you down to size

Startting Richard Jaeckel, Ron Slinker, Ted Vollrath, Lloyd Bochner, John Agar

Joie Chitwood and the Danger Angels

Rated R

We see:
A double amputee in a wheelchair with shotguns built into the armrests, one of which is firing.

A shot of a man pointing a gun off screen

A police car crashing into some shmutz

I wish I could do it greater justice.

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 21

I'll be here when she's ready

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 17

In Jonah Tong's first AAA start with Syracuse, his 7th potential K through 4 innings of one hit ball was overturned when a sinker low in the zone was found to be just a tenth of an inch off. Millimeters.

Image showing simulated baseball outside the strike zone by 0.1" inches, call overturned, with the count going to One and Two

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 15

Stack of pancakes

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 15

Levi from Scavengers Reign

A bulbous robot, metallic gray with yellow plating on the forearms and headcap. They're offering a seed to an insect that is flying in front of them.

Imagine a large egg shaped head with large spherical shoulders that support thin, spindly limbs. The right hand has three "fingers" and the left hand is a larger, two pronged claw.

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 15

The death flower from Scavengers Reign. Stem with three leaves leading to a bulb surrounded by four long, narrow white petals. Two tall stamen extend vertically from the center of the bulb, they look like sperm (I promise this is a lovely flower)

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 15

An ampersand. Extremely hard to describe if you've never seen one before and aren't used to imagining things spatially. It represents the word "And," and is written with a single penstroke that loops back over itself in a figure eight motion that breaks off just before the loop is closed.

Spudfella@spudfella· Aug 12

I need to talk to the food photographer who took this photo and ask them to explain to me how they think a hot dog is supposed to look.

The hot dog from the Checkers & Rally's menu. It is on its side, floating on a checkered napkin in a white void. The dog itself is bare. Naked. A nude pup, but lubed up on top and bottom is ketchup and mustard, respectively. Two thin lines of condiments while the bun is, again, on its side. If I saw someone plate their hot dog like this I would immediately shoot them because, filthy deceiver, you have been found out to be not of my flesh, not of my creed, undress yourself from the bones of my people and reveal your true form so that I may vanquish you in the righteous name of my God.

Spudfella@spudfella· Jul 19

Bayeux-style tapestry of a two man band singing to three dancing lads beneath the words:

CRAWLING IN MINE FKIN
THING WOUNDF THEY DOTH NOT HYEL

Spudfella@spudfella· Jul 15

Hmmmmmm

Quote from article, "We may not have an explanation for why crime commission is so unequal among New Yorkers of different races."

Spudfella@spudfella· Jul 4

I know we're in a country taken over by fascism but I have something more important going on. Somehow, the pizza place FORGOT TO PUT CHEESE ON MY PIZZA. And yet they remembered to add pepperoni. How did this happen.

A pepperoni pizza without cheese. No cheese at all. Just sauce and pepperoni.

Spudfella@spudfella· May 27

Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only

Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer (from King of the Hill) in an M1 Abrams tank

Spudfella@spudfella· May 27

Spudfella@spudfella· May 25

This is the one true perfect example of masculinity someone tell those weirdos on fox news in this essay I will —

Gustave H. from the film, The Grand Budapest Hotel. A hotel concierge in an exquisite purple blazer and scarlet bow tie. His hair is immaculately swooped, his mustache impeccable. It's Ralph Fiennes looking as handsome as a human being can possibly be.

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 8

Quick question for both of you what is the best car in the game and why is it the Colby Butte

An orange car with dark gray, almost black plastic accents and mud guards. Imagine if a coupe was given offroad capability and had a truck bed in the back and a row of lights on top, and also a roll cage and fat tires.

Spudfella@spudfella· Apr 4

A 2008 reader AMA with sabermetrician Bill James yields a poignant answer to a question about analytics spoiling the "spirit" of baseball