Stalled Traffic

@stalledtraffic

Beep-beep. My posts in a line:

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Bluesky

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Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Feb 27

Twitter post by Benjamin De Kraker:

"An advanced, Al-powered technology is developed

The Pentagon wants it and demands an eccentric CEO turn it over to the government

He declines, setting up a clash between the U.S. and the company's suddenly in-demand tech

Anyway this is the plot of Iron Man 2"

This is referencing the DOD's demand that Anthropic assist the military in developing AI-driven autonomous kill-bots and perform mass surveillance of Americans

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 7

YouTube has successfully gathered that I am kind of a weirdo …

My Top YouTube songs of the year: Aesop Rock, None Shall Pass; White Stripes, Let’s Shake Hands. Weird Al and Eminem appear.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Nov 25

We found out why we call my grandfather Cheese.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Aug 26

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation …

Spayed out chunky orange starfish sitting on the dingy sea bottom and showing out those big ol’ glutes.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jul 7

If you see my garden you’ll see how much I love you.

Well manicured yard with phallic blue flower display.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jun 25

How texting in Truth Social-mode keeps marriages alive ...

Text from Spencer T Hakimian that reads: "The plumber is coming at 1:30 PM THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. SPENCER T. HAKIMIAN, PRESIDENT OF TOLOU CAPITAL MANAGEMENT!" With the very reasonable response, "What the fuck?"

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jun 9

Waymo cars would be a lot more likable and less prone to getting burned in protest if they looked and acted more like Caribbean tuk tuks.

Three tuk tuks on an unpaved Caribbean road sporting primary colors and basically looking cool.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· May 24

Omg, omg, omg, everyone!!! The Atlantic has been reading my jokes!

The Atlantic.com said Bluesky is humorless. They followed the wrong Starter Packs.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· May 22

Went to Hawaii and came back with 100% more aloha ...

Smiling bride and groom on a rocky point on Oahu overlooking the Pacific.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· May 15

Another victim of White genocide in South Africa …

Twitter deactivation confirmation screen, which popped up today after learning Elon Musk programmed his AI to engage in overt propaganda.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· May 7

Just me and my lady here doing a little mam baking.

A bottle with a snake on it labeled “old spice“ and subtitled, mam baking

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Apr 22

Googly eyes make everything better.

A googly-eyed spiral-cut ham, but it looks like the poop emoji. For the record, it was delicious.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Apr 12

Happy Record Store Day to those who worship the groove.

Leon Bridges RSD issue from October, but my fiancée let me know that was an unfortunate oversight.

They’re art. White marble Leon Bridges RSD vinyl.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Mar 27

How I get the ladies to come around …

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Mar 21

I couldn't resist this sweet face.

Demon cat, deceptively sweet, contemplates not your death but your annihilation.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Mar 21

I enticed this creature into my house a week ago. I thought it was only a wild beast. I see now it is half cobra, possibly possessed by a snake demon. I need an exorcist. If you are Catholic, please tell me how I make a referral. They must teach you this in catechism.

Demon cat, black with white chest, legs and face, bares fangs in a murderous attitude.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Mar 4

Happy Mardi Gras!

A pile of decorated coconuts from the Zulu parade at the New Orleans Mardi Gras.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Feb 28

Some people can see conspiracies that the rest of us miss …

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Feb 24

Tweet from Axl Rose. Very simply, a flag of freedom. Ukraine's blue and gold.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jan 16

One New Year’s resolution complete already …

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jan 10

I get you, young artist. I get you.

Folk art sketch of a spindly mermaid with a handwritten add-on “Mermaids are oddly attractive.”

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jan 9

"My friend, *every* story benefits from a dragon."

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jan 9

I was a poet once @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social’s wish for Billy Collins readings has reminded me of that. Here’s one of mine from long ago - an image, alt text, and I’ll post it also below …

North Shore Oahu
Jan. 28, 1998 - 7 a.m.
for S.M.D.
The sea unbound itself that day,
it heaved like a prisoner at the stone around it.
Even the surfers wagged their heads at the waves -
36-footers falling like walls - Each one beautiful as a rockslide.
I imagined fish beaten to death on the coral and puka shells thrown high on the sand at Keiki's - A silver-dollar rain shower on the beach.
You were beautiful beside me -
unshowered, your hair in strings, alive as a child - Your eyes dancing at the sky-caught spray, the ocean surging with your heart's fervor.
In absent times, I let our nearness lull. You sweep me - your impact unexpected when I've given you my back I learn to always tace you,
To embrace the strength your fickle water sends, To dive head-first into your waves.
I am the glass-flat sea in summer;
Your soul lifts and thrills like winter's sea.
You crash off the world in tall, white plumes.
Eyes closed, I catch you in drops - my face, my chest, my upstretched arms - You fall on me like rain.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Jan 5

If you’re looking for a lost sock, it’s at carousel 2 at baggage claim.

Baggage claim carousel. There’s a lost sock up in the center of the carousel.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 23

quote post with the real you

This rusty and industrial-destined custom VW bus looks like it was in a Mad Max movie.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 22

Better than any of us could possibly dream ...

It's this year's Alexander Zonjic's Smooth Intimate New Year's Eve Jam in Pontiac Michigan! $50 per ticket at the Little Art Theater in Pontiac, Mi.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 20

Meanwhile, at the Schadenfreude Arcade ...

Choose Your Fighter: 1) Luigi Mangione; 2) Orcas; 3) Titanic; 4) Titan Submarine. Explain This Joke, Peter! It's the Mortal Kombat selection screen turned into a meme referring to things that have killed or harassed billionaires. Luigi killed an American Healthcare CEO. Orcas are sinking yachts in ocean waters. The Titanic was a luxury liner that famously sank after hitting an iceberg. Titan Submarine imploded this year taking out a few more billionaires. Why is it funny? Class distinctions and wealth inequalities are bedeviling humanity to a greater and greater degree, creating hostility toward the upper classes, as millions languish as victims of the system the wealthy have created to extract money from them. Seeing the ultra rich get their comeuppeance is part of the schadenfreude of our time. We laugh at these generally unaccountable people who are typically able to act with impunity finally checked by circumstances that do not care about wealth and position. Is this type of humor healthy for society? No. But the rich have been bringing such disdain onto themselves with the overwhelming exploitation and impunity. Rape, fraud, exploitation of the working classes, destruction of constitutional freedoms and irreparable environmental degradation are waved away by those installed by the rich to judge their own wrongdoing while the poor are subject to merciless struggle and harsh punishment. The oppressed rejoice when their oppressors fall, and they don't make too much distinction as to whether it was a fluke of nature, the wealthy person's own foolishness or the foolishness of a criminal that does them in.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 19

Gotta check in for my plane …

Package says “Cheese Flight.” Can’t tell from the photo but this might represent Spirit Airlines going for a new demographic.

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 15

I’m learning all my social skills from ChatGPT so I’m becoming unfailingly kind, supportive, warm and encouraging but if you want me to flirt the system shuts right down.

ChatGPT response screen with an error message reading, “Hmm…something seems to have gone wrong.”

Stalled Traffic@stalledtraffic· Dec 10

[First phone call from jail] Luigi Mangione: They got me ma. Mama Mangione: Where are you? We're coming right away. Luigi: The local lockup ...