When did the National Lottery Lotto get… a bit rubbish? A multi-week rollover jackpot tonight is worth less than a standard weekly draw thirty years ago, despite the fact that ticket prices are double what they were then

I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen a monkey with a pet human

Martin is a moron, pass it on

Whenever I see a video of those goons wandering around harassing people it just reminds me of Homer The Vigilante

History will condemn this rubber-faced dog-killing wretch

I managed to find a photo of another 'law enforcement operation' from 1944. Totally not an invasion

No-one could have predicted it, even the genius political operative that is McSweeney. I can see why the PM values his advice so much.

Samuel Pegge, what a typical 18thC woke snowflake writing up the recipes of those lefties from the 14thC. I bet he loved kababs too.

"See the tariff? Keep your eye on it, here we go keep looking it's right there now which country has the tariff? Bad luck, here we go again keep your eye on the tariff, it's all yours if you guess right"

"HEY CHAPPY HOW CAN I DO A TARIFFS?"

This guy's a narc, pass it on

"The president is lenient and he wants to be kind to the world"

JD Vance when Greenland tell him and his wife to get fucked

I can't help but wonder if threatening to invade, annex or occupy Panama, Greenland, Canada and Gaza might not be the best way to improve his chances. Fucking weird idiot.

Spotted outside Sheffield College, directly opposite the main entrance. They don’t sugarcoat things in these parts.

Oh I bet you do, you fucking traitor.

Not exactly Brewster's Millions, is it?

We go live to Farage via video link:

Father Time. Trump is old, fat and in obvious decline. Statistically speaking, he probably won't survive until the end of his term.

He's a bawhair away from being this guy

Breaking: Lawrence Fox mugshot leaked to media after arrest

Bit of music history right there

I think ‘hurricane force’ is perhaps understating 21773mph winds.