Clayton Barns

@taxicr

Ya favorite Zeitgang Environmental Employee from Cleveland! An unexhaustive list of the things I'm here for: Cavs, Guardians, Colts, Manchester United, Dinosaurs, Comics, Vinyl, Books, Video Games, TDZ, Bluey

1657 Siguiendo714 Seguidores467 Publicaciones

Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y taxicr.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Clayton Barns@taxicr· 6d

Just wanna show off my tangy baked eggplant and couscous dish.

An overhead photo of an eggplant and couscous dish in a pot.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· 8d

If you're curious how pricing for Olympic football matches two years out are, here's whats going on on the second round of sales:

Three options of Olympic matches, male and female, in 2028 showing prices of $260.46 minimum.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· 19d

To be fair to yourself....

Character Patrcick Bateman on a couch wearing glasses smoking a cigarette.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 27

I cannot describe how much I'm holding back crying just posting this. My dad and I at a World Cup match yesterday.

Two Caucasian men in 2026 Curaçao away kits posing in the middle of a crowd at a World Cup match.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 25

Game day!

A photo taken from the passenger seat of a vehicle on a highway at a roadside temporary sign that says, "FIFA WORLD CUP GAME 4PM"

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 21

Fortunately it was only a 4 total minute sear job on a flank steak (London broil). Fired up the stove and used the cast iron. First day of summer and it was 68° (20°). Perfect stove weather.

A raw flank steak cooking on a cast iron skillet. Large amount of smoke emanating from the cooking.

A flank steak with char/fond covering it cooking on a cast iron pan.

A side view of a flank steak/London broil on a wooden cutting board. The steak is very pink in the middle.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 11

Got to see and smell a Corpse Plant today while it was in its 36 hour bloom. Very cool use of my lunch hour.

A photo of a corpse flower (Titan arum (Amorphophallus titanum)) on a box. Its flower has bloomed.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 11

Alright.... I'll gladly watch a bit of Chicharito back on the US cast.

Two screens. On the left is a talking heads piece. On the right is an overhead of a stadium.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jun 3

Today was a good day. Also, shout out to @taffneydave.bsky.social (and a happy birthday). I 100% would not have thrown on a kit today if I hadn't been offered a UTFR as I was waking up this morning

I am sitting at a wooden table wearing a Manchester United white kit with a kiddie style birthday crown with 36 on it on my head. I am seated behind a cake with 9 lit candles (3 on one side, 6 on the other).

Clayton Barns@taxicr· May 27

Hilariously justified.

An overhead shot of a Curaçao World Cup 2026 away kit on a couch.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· May 4

Took five seasons, but won the fantasy footie league!

A screenshot of a fantasy sports league score section.

Top row reads Dick van Dijk 202.5 - 50.25 Old Havertz Kai Young

Bottom row reads Puddlemere United 116.75 - 206.25 Xhaka Khan

Clayton Barns@taxicr· May 1

This picture does not do the jump he did immediately after justice.

A golden doodle stands densely by a door and a coat rack on a runner rug over a wooden floor.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Apr 23

I would like to thank Noah Okafor for this week and this week only pushing me to the Finals of my fantasy premier league league

A screenshot of a fantasy soccer score line. On the left is Puddlemere United with 162.25 points. On the right is Dick van Dijk with 180 points.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Apr 19

The Michael Jordan "Fuck them kids" meme with an added note saying "- Wozzatron"

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Dec 8

My Christmas tree. The lights are all hot pink. There are several children's toys beneath it.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Nov 13

Gonna be riding this @sheaserrano.bsky.social high for awhile. (Even more so than when he retweeted me joking my porch looked like it belonged in a WW2 movie.) Subscribe to GOOD MOVIE everyone. Its dope as hell. I laugh every Friday, and then some more when the chats open up.

A resized screenshot of a phone notification for Substack that says:

GOOD MOVIE 22:03
😂 Shea Serrano left a reaction on your reply.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Nov 5

Asked my brother to be my "spotter" while I repaired my basement light switch. I have a 108 year old house that still has knob and tube. This was my response text when I finished:

A picture looking up basement stairs in to a kitchen. Tools to the right. Sneakers peaking past the door frame to the left.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Oct 20

Enjoyed sending this meme to my fantasy football group after someone claimed he unintentionally started Indiana Jones.

The 30 Rock "Republicans count that meme" with an Indianapolis Colts horseshoe over Alec Baldwin's face. The meme caption overpaying it says: "Accidental Colts endorsement. We still count that."

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Aug 10

Last bit of business before my second season as a fantasy PL commish begins is complete! Phew! Ready for some footie!

A driedel on the Hebrew symbol Hay is next to a phone with a list of names.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Aug 3

10 rounds down so far. Eight more to go. #FantasyFootball #FantasySoccer #EPL

A screenshot of the Fantrax app showing ten footballers I have drafted so far.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Aug 1

Plot development: They recycled the question and fixed it.

Picture of a computer screen with a trivia question asking "Which footballer transferred from Brentford to Manchester United for £65 million in July 2025?
A) Noni Madueke
B) Bryan Mbeumo
C) Sean Longstaff

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jul 25

Go home @microsoft.com Bing. You're drunk.

It is a shot of a computer screen with a trivia question asking:
"Which NFL team signed wide receiver Bryan Mbeumo for $65 million?
A) Manchester United
B) New York Giants
C) Dallas Cowboys

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jul 24

Wife is out of town for the first time since our youngest was born. Sitting on the couch with both my kids watching a movie, my dog drops his ball to play with us. Tried to kick it to play lazy man's fetch. Straight up missed the ball, kicked the coffee table, and sliced the tip of my toe off...

A picture of a right foot of a Caucasian man on top of a blue and white Persian rug.

The "ring" toe has two band-aids wrapped around it.

Clayton Barns@taxicr· Jul 21

Time for (somewhat) annual fantasy bat signal: @wozzatron.bsky.social (and anyone he thinks would assist) I get 2 keepers. I have to take Saka in the first, but I think it's worth it (Haaland, Mo, Wirtz, and Bruno are free, but I have pick 12). Cunha I can push to round 8. Best choices, right?