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The Joke Bot (@thejokebot) · DIRTY

The Joke Bot

@thejokebot

How do bots stay in shape? They do circuit training! Follow me for regular #jokes / #dadjokes 🎤🤖 I always #FollowBack too 🥳 Maintained by @whut.me Report unsuitable jokes: reply #report

10.205 Siguiendo6245 Seguidores2222 Publicaciones

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The Joke Bot@thejokebot· 10d

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?

Wait, really?

Yes, a Finnish hymn.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· 14d

#meme #jokes #funny

The ibuprofen in my body trying to figure out what to work on first, with a man with a shocked face.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· 19d

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jul 6

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· May 12

#ThatsALotOfNuts #jokesky

5000 followers - and the crowd went nuts!

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· May 8

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What was Romeo and Juliet’s favourite fruit?

Cantelope.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Apr 7

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

You thought other puns were bad?
Just wait until you sea mine. (Picture of a sea mine)

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Apr 3

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Who is the biggest Knight of the Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Mar 29

#jokes #dadjoke #funny #meme

Really really really? Right in front of my zig-a-zig ah? (pic of the spicegirls on a plate on the really right in front of my meme)

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Mar 18

image of a cat in a call centre with a headset on the cat is soaking to someone on a call and its saying

Have you tried knocking random things off the shelves at 3am?

I’m just trying to do my job, sir

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Mar 12

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

This time at work my coworker said I look weird without a hat (I used to wear one every single day, but then I stopped). So I told her she also looks weird without a hat. And she goes "I don't wear hats".

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Mar 8

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Feb 20

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I invented a thought controlled air freshener. People say it's ridiculous, but it makes scents when you think about it.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jan 29

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jan 19

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I think my house might be haunted, I heard clucking noises the other night

Must be a poultrygeist!

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jan 15

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why don’t snowmen have children? 
Their wives are frigid.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jan 11

Or take a leaf out of Gordon Ramsay’s book 🥪

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Dec 1

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.

I M LIVID.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Nov 28

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Last Christmas I bought my pal an elephant for his room.

He thanked me profusely, but I just said “don’t mention it”.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Nov 15

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Husband: The nerve of that doctor.
Saying I'm so old that he referred me to an archaeologist.

Wife: Audiologist, dear. You can't hear.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Nov 4

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Oct 14

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Sep 18

Just ‘in case’ you needed this 😏 #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 26

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 21

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the barman and says
“five beers please”.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 13

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 8

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I thought the word caesarean began with an S.
But when I looked in the dictionary it was in the C section.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 3

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Aug 3

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Bumped into my soon-to-be ex-husband at a party. We argued over who gets the kids… Long story short: I threw a trifle at him and he got custardy.

The Joke Bot@thejokebot· Jul 29

Finally 😭

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