Gherkin 🥒

@thelastgherkin

I'm Gherkin, a visibly queer discontent creator and unique vegetable entity in the sphere of toy robots. He/him/his but not a man. Rantsona designed by @maiaf.bsky.social! LINKUS:

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Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y thelastgherkin.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 5d

If you don't follow Earth Wars it may surprise you to learn which of these is Armada Optimus Prime and which is a downloadable cosmetic skin for G1 Optimus Prime

Digital render of Armada Optimus Prime, holding a gun and the Skyboom Shield.

Digital render of Generation 2's Laser Optimus Prime, standing proud with his sword.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 6d

Something that struck me on my pre-TFN Target: 2006 re-read was that, for all it functions as a The Movie promotional tool, it was still written under the impression that the Matrix is something that exists in Optimus Prime's mind

Three panels from The Transformers (Marvel UK) issue 78, "Target: 2006: Prologue" from 1986. A robot wearing a robe approaches an altar with a single candle on it, and gesticulates melodramatically as the flame extinguishes. Narration: "And, on Cybertron, the MATRIX FLAME – the living embodiment of the sacred CREATION MATRIX housed in Prime's mind... flickers... AND DIES!"

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 11d

I got alla dems

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 15d

I don't know what possessed me to make this

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 19d

Making his final public appearance...

Deliberately poorly edited banner for TFNation 2026. In front of a techno-kaleidoscope background is a smug-ass cartoon cucumber mascot adjusting his glasses and archly raising an eyebrow. Whoever was behind him has been scribbled over with a thick black paintbrush tool.
ALSO APPEARING
Gherkin (this part in Comic Sans)
TFNATION 2026
31 July-2 August | Hilton Birmingham Metropole

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 19d

So step 1 is that McFarlane didn't actually get Jack Nicholson's likeness and had to sneak out an '89 Joker as a generic "The Joker"

Action figure of a man who appears to be somewhat like but not entirely Jack Nicholson as the Joker. As well as multiple interchangeable hands, a display base, and accessories including a revolver with a leg-length barrel, is a collectors' card featuring artwork of a regular-looking Joker from the comics.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· 26d

Screencap from Futurama. On a Martian landscape, lobster man Dr Zoidberg rows a boat through a lake, waving towards the viewer. Leader-1's doofy face from the first image has been pasted over Zoidberg's head. A caption at the bottom reads "I broke your television!"

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Jun 30

Nobody's dived this deep since Stockton Rush

Due to its relative obscurity, poor information hygiene, and circular reporting, several "facts" about Robotix have been passed around the web with no verification:

The only humans with full names originating from the original franchise are Exeter Galaxon, a name invented by the cartoon production team to believably shorten into the toyline's "Commander X"; Tauron Oxus, Gaxon Graves, and Traxis Lyte, all of whom are named by the toy boxes; and Loopis Cur, who is inexplicably referred to as such in episode seven of the cartoon. Every other surname is either an invention of Jim Sorenson for Spacewarp's Log, or hails from the production materials he was privy to; Spacewarp's Log contradicts the toyline by giving Tauron and Traxis the surnames "Oxon" and "Janussen" respectively.

Elements exclusive to the comic bleed their way into cartoon summaries: never in the animation are the Ejoornians or Daniel Boone named. Exeter is only concretely a captain in the comic; he is addressed by Kanawk as "Commander X" in episode one, simply "commander" in episode three, and "my old captain" in episode twelve.

Zarru is not established to be Exeter's son in either the cartoon or the comic. He's on first name terms with him in both, including episodes nine and ten.

As of this writing, the Robotix Wikipedia article claims the Daniel Boone is literally a refitted, real life submarine of the same name, because someone mixed up Robotix with Space Battleship Yamato we guess.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Jun 27

Zeldawiki tries to have mainpics be from the latest game so Link is currently represented by the sleeping child from the dimly-lit Ocarina of Time remake trailer looking like he's Yamcha crashed onto the webpage

Screenshot of Zeldawiki, a blue-backed website. In the infobox for Link, a tab reading "Model" is selected out of a choice of "Artwork, Render, Model, Sprite". Underneath is the strangely-adult child model of Link from the Ocarina of Time remake, curled up sleeping in a loose foetal position. The image has a transparent background, making him look like he's lying directly on the webpage backdrop.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Jun 26

No sleep last night

Big comic book title lettering reading "DISTANT THUNDER!", from The Transformers (UK) issue 100.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Jun 21

Oh lol! I was looking at issue 54, which has the wrong date in the corner box!

The Transformers (UK) issue 54, dated (erroneously) to 29th March 1985.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· May 30

Just now learning about Tomy Build-A-Buddy Optimus Prime and my nephew would friggin love it but of course I'm three years late to getting one. Don't suppose anybody has one that their kids have since grown out of...?

Tomy Build-A-Buddy Optimus Prime toy, a bulky toy held together by chunky screws so that kids can disassemble him into pieces and build him back into a truck or a robot.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· May 25

A tier list of Donkey Kong characters.
Top tier: Konkey Dong, Kanky Long
Always a chuckle: Kaby Bong, Kluster Bong, Kinkly Wrong
Adequate: Kixie Dong, Kanky Swong
Pointless: Kandy Cong, Kranky Cong, Kiddie Kong
Slur adjacent: Kained Chong, Kunky Chong, Kunky Fong, Kanky Mong, Kiny Tong
No: Kiddy Dong

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· May 8

Edit of an image macro featuring a horse. The Transformer Sludge, a robotic Brontosaurus, stands on a beach, morosely looking out at the sea, perhaps contemplating the rise of modern fascism. The world "MAN" in impact font is towards the top of the image.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 26

Girl, we've got work to do Pass me the paint and glue

A prominent, long, curly white hair sticks out from a swoosh of admittedly longer dirty blond hair

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 22

Goodbye, Mobius' rose...

Screenshot of an oldstyle, barebones HTML website. The background is black and all text is white, centred Times New Roman.
THE JOHNNY LIGHTFOOT MEMORIAL
CYBERSHRINE
Dedicated to the blessed memory of
JOHNATHAN
of the Emerald Hill Lightfoots
1982--2000
[image from Sonic the Comic of Johnny Lightfoot, a tall, gangly anthropomorphic rabbit in a red leather jacket and jeans, holding a pugil stick over his shoulder. Stood next to Sonic character Amy Rose, his proportions make him look like he has wandered in from a different publication.]
Drawing by Roberto Corona (da-nuhnuh-nahnah-nuh-nah BOB CORONA); copyright 1996 by Fleetway Editions Ltd.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 21

FINALLY: all you've ever wanted to know about Machine Man – the living robot – from his birth in the 80s to the far off year of 2020! Fully annotated on the TFUK Appendix! tfuk.app/wiki/Machine...

Collage of Marvel comic book images, bifurcated down the middle. On the left, artwork by Steve Ditko showing the original Machine Man and other key characters such as Peter Spaulding, Gears Garvin, Miles Brickman, and Madam Menace. On the right, artwork by Barry Windsor-Smith and Herb Trimpe of Machine Man's semi-assembled head in closeup, Jocasta, Iron Man 2020, and Sunset Bain. A magenta and white circuitboard pattern frames the image.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 21

YOU'RE gonna need a Transformers x NFL Collaborative toy in a second if you don't quit asking me that

Screenshot from a Homestar Runner cartoon, showing a simplistic and small desert island with a single palm tree, bush, and empty glass bottle on it. Two American football helmets are floating slightly above the sand: on the right is a drawing of a Miami Dolphins helmet, and on the left is a photograph of a Transformers toy that turns into a San Francisco 49ers helmet.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 21

Me at the club

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 19

Imagine spending eight weeks getting attached to a character and then this is the last you ever see of him

Four tall comic panels. Medieval rebel William Tell drops ungracefully from the side of a fortress into the choppy sea, disappearing completely beneath the waves.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 18

I wish all Wiki Admins a very Learn How To Design For Light Mode

Predominantly white text on a dark grey background. It reads "Miguel O'Hara is the superhero Spider-Man of the year 2099. He is the leader of the multiversal Spider-Society which strives to keep the "canon" intact."

Predominantly dark grey text on a friggin SATURATED SKY BLUE background. If you could read it, it would say "Miguel O'Hara is the superhero Spider-Man of the year 2099. He is the leader of the multiversal Spider-Society which strives to keep the "canon" intact."

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 17

Disproportionately pleased with this

Wiki message box reading "THEY'RE IN THE SHOPS NOW! This page concerns a character or concept from an advert printed in The Transformers. This means we cover it, but don't treat it as canonical to the robot universe." It is illustrated by the two rosy-cheeked, moptopped boys often seen in the bottom left of British Transformers toy ads.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 17

Unable to pass comment on this due to the constraints of my NDA

Crop of a distant cityscape from the quoted post. 30 St Mary Axe, the London skyscraper nicknamed "the Gherkin", is visible in the distance.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 15

Happy 20th anniversary to White Patient

Doctor Who: Battles in Time collectible card showing white patient, a white (more than usual) man in a medical gown with wires what are in him.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Apr 8

@waspshot23.bsky.social oight Ben

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Mar 24

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Mar 21

Which way western man

The search box on TFWiki.net. "Bud H" has been typed into the search field. The suggested results are "Bud Hansen" and "Buddha".

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Mar 15

This is the last sequential issue for now before we jump ahead to issue 21 and then again to 26. If anyone has a lead on issues 15-20, 22-25, or 30, let me know!

A grid of 32 cells; the first is labelled "Holiday Special", while the rest are numbered 1 through 31. The cells containing Holiday Special, numbers 1-14, 21, 26-29, and 31 are coloured in green. 15-20, 22-25, and 30 are white.

Gherkin 🥒@thelastgherkin· Mar 11