Tim Hortons launched several new items for their Harry Potter collaboration. The foreign owned coffee chain that still uses a maple leaf in their branding to trick people into thinking they are still Canadian announced that a portion of all sales will go to their Conversion Camp Day fund.

Ontario Premier Ford announced today that his Government will be filing a lawsuit against the US Forest Service. The suit alleges that Smokey the Bear, the US Forest Service's mascot, was not specific enough in pointing out exactly who can prevent forest fires.

The government launched an ad campaign telling Canadians that they can visit national parks for free this summer. When asked about the optics of launching such a campaign while half the country is on fire, Carney said "That's our point, who knows if there'll be anything left to see next year."

Conservative MPP Donna Skelly was at Tim Horton's today promoting Camp Day—a day when a foreign multi-billion dollar company asks everyday Canadians to donate to a good cause—saying "I'm confident in our government's ability to extinguish the wildfires at the campgrounds before the kids arrive."

In a recent interview George Lucas talked about his love for generative AI; referencing changes he made to the original Star Wars trilogy starting in 1997, "I was into AI slop before it was cool, I've always been a fan!"

Mayor Horwath decreed that Council hold a special meeting today to learn about the special interests of data centre lobbyists. When asked why today's meeting was necessary the mayor said "We've heard from the public on the issue, but we didn't take the time to listen what the money has to say."

A #HamOnt Mayoral Candidate is raising the alarm to ensure everyone knows that the voter registry is a thing that exists & that candidates are given access to it. "If they'd give this information to me, they'd give it to anyone!" warns the candidate in over a dozen identical Facebook posts.

Prime Minister Carney met with a group of top RCMP officers today. Tasked with training law enforcement across the country, these highly skilled men & women will be instrumental in the rollout of Canada's new Combating Hate with Hate Act.

Thanks to Carney's "Elbows Up" slogan VPN companies in Canada are seeing a surge in interest as patriotic Canadians look for domestic options to spoof a US IP address as Carney's Online Harms bill is expected to pass into law by the end of the summer.

The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today: If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.

Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why, #HamOnt city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."

Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewage—judge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.

BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.

Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre abandoned his "verb the noun" rhetoric on the campaign trail today. Instead, the lifelong politician told the crowd how much he appreciates the critiques of political pundit Steve Boots, adding that watching WTHC? is better than any cabinet meeting.

The archbishop of Toronto, Cardinal Frank Leo is headed to Rome for the conclave to elect the next Pope. If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.

After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system. "It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.

After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations. There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.

Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion. #HamOnt

The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.

After Hamilton Police fatally shot a 43 year old man over the weekend one Clr took to social media to remind grieving members of a marginalized community that "Police officers don't murder people, people with badges murder people."

Shortly after the popular Portuguese restaurant Wild Orchid announced on social media that it would be closing its doors for good on Dec 31st, Forge & Foster Investments released the following statement:

Kanye West & Taylor Swift, Madonna & Elton John, Cameron Kroetsch & JP Danko? A made-in #HamOnt feud is playing out on social media right now. While it may not end up on a BuzzFeed listicle, for some any public celebrity beef just can't be ignored.

Today, after several delegates questioned her research, conclusions, logic, & decision making during yesterday's council meeting, Clr Pauls said in a statement, "The rules were you weren't going to fact check."

President-elect Donald Trump says he's looking forward to 8 more years in the White House—"My first term was 'President Donald Trump', this time it's 'Convicted Felon President Donal Trump', so that resets the 2-term limit."

Ford 'optimistic' about second Trump presidency, says Ontario and U.S. share ‘important’ rich friends.

Homelessness is on the rise in Ontario. While cities are struggling with Charter protections to limit where the homeless can legally exist, Ford is daring them to approach on bended knee & beg for the notwithstanding clause. Trudeau has pledged federal support by expanding MAID.

As a legal battle over unhoused people's right to exist comes to a head some Clrs are looking for a more final solution to the homeless question. In response to the case Clr Danko said "I don't get how anyone can support encampments", adding, "I don't support the homeless at all.

Read "Given expected population growth LRT should be remapped to service Barton & Tiffany", "Wearing your everyday work clothes is a lazy Halloween costume", "I never knew those were supposed to be bike lanes", & more in today's Letters to the Editor.

"More & more Ontarians are struggling to afford their groceries," the Premier said while giving a press conference about alcohol sales inside a Costco, "so my government's next step is to see alcohol available at food banks across the province!"

Ford announced today that his government is in talks with several payday loan outlets as the province looks to outsource distribution aspects of social assistance—"Vulnerable Ontarians shouldn't have to wait in line to lose 17% of their cheques; it should happen automatically."