Tristan Olson

@tristanolson

Author and occasional poster of funny things. www.tristanolsonbooks.com

37 Siguiendo277 Seguidores1100 Publicaciones

Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y tristanolson.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· 9d

A meme consisting of six images from the Simpsons. In the first panel, Principal Skinner, Ms. Krabapple, and groundskeeper Willie are in the principals office. Willie is saying "Brothers and sisters are natural enemies!" The following five images are all close-ups of Willie, where he says the following things: 1. "Like drivers and cyclists!" 2. "Or joggers and cyclists!" 3. "Or scooter users and cyclists!" 4. "Or cyclists and cyclists!" 5. "Damn cyclists! They ruined cycling!"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· 10d

And with Control Resonant coming out next month, it seems I'm really in a "guy in some kind of poncho fights supernatural enemies with mystic weapons" mode right now.

A screenshot from Control Resonant. It shows a man standing in what might be a subway station. He has some kind of blood-smeared poncho coat thing and is holding strange stick-like weapons in each hand.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· 11d

If I can't immediately tell which image is the upgrade and which is the original, maybe the remaster/upgrade/whatever didn't need to happen.

A screenshot from a Google feed. It shows two images from videogame side by side of man in green army gear holding a rifle. They do not look particularly different other than the pose the man is in. It has the title "Here's What The Ghost Recon Wildlands Upgrade Looks Like On Xbox Series X|S"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· 21d

Nothing says "this autonomous 'AI' account is a real pathway to the future" as hilariously as it stupidly liking my post about how Sam Altman is a grifter and the "AI" bubble is a doomed con.

A screenshot showing that I have blocked the "Ek" AI bot account.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jul 9

An edit of the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 'Pepe Silvia' conspiracy wall meme, where Charlie Day is standing in front of a wall with a lot of documents and pictures connected by red lines. In this image, Charlie Day's head has been replaced with that of actor Michael Douglas, who once said in an interview that performing too much cunnilingus had given him oral cancer. The zodiac symbol for cancer has been added to the wall, as well as a picture of actress Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jul 9

Tumblr is a wild place.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jul 3

With apologies to Blackbird Farms (blackbirdcoop.com, www.youtube.com/sylvanaquafa...) #DnD #D&D #ttrpg

A still from the opening of a blackbird coop video (https://blackbirdcoop.com/ , https://www.youtube.com/sylvanaquafarms), where Chris Newman sits in a car with a trepidatious expression and says "What is it now?", with the caption "When the DM starts rolling a bunch of dice without saying anything"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jul 1

#Gaming

A meme of Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants. In the first image, he's smiling and setting up a lawn chair outside his house, with accompanying text reading "They're making a sequel for a beloved but dormant game series."
In the second image, he has folded up the chair and is heading inside with a heavy-lidded expression of bland disappointment, with accompanying text reading "It's a cheap multiplayer extraction cash grab."

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jun 16

I honestly think that if this was the beginning of young Amos entering a cringey dressing like Heath Ledger's Joker phase it would be a welcome change of pace from the usual "all horny all the time" programming.

A trimmed panel from the comic strip 9 Chickweed Lane. It shows the character Amos standing in waist-deep water. He is a pale boy with glasses and curly hair. In this panel he has red lipstick smeared all around his mouth.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jun 6

I was curious and checked, and this article is about Duvall, which barely exists as a town, and in my brief experience, kinda sucked.

An image from a Google feed of a street corner in a small town. Red-sided buildings, fluffy white clouds in a blue sky, green trees beginning to turn orange with the fall. The headline under it is "Between Seattle And the Cascades Is Washington's Charming City With Walkable Fun, Art, Shops, And Restaurants"

A Google map image of Duvall's main street. Businesses include Corie's Cafe, Duvall Tavern, Red Pepper Pizzeria & Pasta, The Grange, Amarillo Barbecue, Amonos Mexican Kitchen, Ace Hardware, Thai Duvall

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Jun 5

Sometimes you make your spouse a really good breakfast on a weekday morning, just because.

A picture of a round white plate on a wooden counter. The plate contains a croissant that has been sliced open hotdog style and toasted. It is topped with two pink-yolked sunny side up eggs, a little ground black pepper, and homemade hollandaise sauce.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 24

A title card from Star Trek: the Original Series. The Enterprise is orbiting a purple and green planet. The title of the episode is "The gang runs afoul of a Greek god"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

One of the many reasons I'm annoyed that the Google Discovery feed doesn't allow me to block everything from X is that X is now ground zero for this kind of AI slop.

An genAI image masquerading as an interesting fact from X, showing identical cats sleeping under archways in Italy, with the text "Italy installs cozy sidewalk cubbies for stray cats, complete with dry cushions and food plates tucked under urban benches."

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

An incredibly unnecessarily long sentence full of superfluous detail that doesn't sound like how anyone real talks? Back off Crankshaft, that's 9 Chickweed Lane's thing!

A panel from the comic Crankshaft, where Crankshaft and his buddies are in the foreground at a booth in a diner, but the focus is actually on two characters in the background, one of which is an author stand-in saying "That I was often curious about what would have happened if I had skipped my writing sessions that in the bedroom of our old apartment when I first came up with the world's greatest band director."

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

A title card from Star Trek: The Next Generation showing the Enterprise keeping pace with a large asteroid. The title of the episode is "It's a Geordi with a beard episode!"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

A title card from Star Trek: The Next Generation, showing the starship Enterprise from the front with a planet in the background. The episode is called "One of Worf's two episodes per season"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

A title card from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, showing the space station from underneath. The title of the episode is "Dukat's up to his old shit again."

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

A title card from Star Trek: the Animated Series. The episode title is "The crew meets an alien they'll never use in live action"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

The starship Voyager, from Star Trek: Voyager as seen from below. The episode title is "This episode's Berman perviness rating: 7/10"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 23

An image of the starship Enterprise from the original Star Trek series orbiting a green and purple planet, with the episode title "Planet of the sets that were available on the paramount lot"

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 12

They were pure ice-nine.

A screenshot of the headline of an article which reads: "A Farmer Abandoned Five Cows on a Remote Island in 1871. 130 Years Later, Scientists Opened Their DNA and Froze"
There is an image of some cattle standing in a desert. There is a rusted out livestock trailer. This is an image from Shutterstock, not an image of the actual cows in question.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 9

A screen capture of a video recipe. The title is "Learned this in Italy #recipe #Cooking #foodie". The image from the video is of someone dumping a bag of Totino's pizza rolls into a casserole dish.

A popular meme taken from the game L.A. Noire. It features a man in a fedora with a bemused expression on his face, and the words "X Doubt" next to him.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 9

It's about 1,671 miles from St Joseph, Missouri to Sacramento, California (the start and end point of the journey in the TV show Wagon Train) and given that the show was on for eight years, that means the wagon train was averaging about 0.57 miles a day.

The cover of a DVD set of the television show "Wagon Train." There is a man dressed like an old cowboy. He is holding a rifle. In the background, covered wagons drawn by horses pass.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 7

Kudos to IGN for having an article with this title, and then zero images in the actual article comparing the two versions. It's got two imbedded ads, but no images at all, and definitely none of Star Fox. Neat. Helpful.

The headline of an IGN "article" which reads: Star Fox Creator Prefers Character's Movie Design, Following Mixed Response to Nintendo Switch 2 Game Reveal

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· May 1

As the weather gets warmer, Dipper lies around like he's posing for Rubens. #Dogs

A photo of a dog lying on his side on a carpet. The dog is mostly black, with white tipped toes on all feet, and white under his muzzle, down his neck and most of his stomach. He is stretched out with his front legs forward and back legs back. His rear legs are crossed with the upper leg going behind the lower leg's ankle. He's a very good boy.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Apr 27

If the answer is anything other than "the sun" I'm calling bullshit.

A screenshot from a Google feed. It's a link to an article with a picture of a woman at a beach from behind. She appears to have a sunburn. The title of the article is "Main cause of sunburn is identified, it's time to rewrite the textbooks."

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Apr 27

So I got curious and... Hahaha get fucked losers.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Apr 25

I haven't watched it in decades but I remember Camelot being pretty good.

The poster for the movie musical "Camelot" starring Richard Harris and Vanessa Redgrave.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Apr 22

This is kind of like that bit at the end of V for Vendetta where everyone is wearing the Guy Fawkes mask. Or we're all Spartacus. And he's a dingus.

A screenshot showing that why.bsky.team has blocked me.

Tristan Olson@tristanolson· Apr 21

I think someone needs to talk to Alaska Airlines about what they consider a comedy.