Turfster

@turfster

Coder, pun perpetrator Grumpiness elemental Hyperbole abuser Bitter, bites Wait, no, shit, "bits and bytes" Don't put words in my mouth It's not my fault you can't perceive tone and context (TurfsterNTE off The Bird Site)

884 Siguiendo538 Seguidores4637 Publicaciones

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Turfster@turfster· 19d

Like, I *know* why Past Me did this, and it sort of made sense in a "okay *this* is working let's not rock *that* boat" sense, but damn, I'm Straight Up Not Having A Great Time (especially since every time I see shit I want to refactor it and Ha Ha No I definitely have neither time/energy for that)

hehe/not hehe kitten meme template

hehe: Finally have time and energy to work on a piece of code I promised ages ago and the standalone prototype stage went incredibly well

not hehe: Having to deal with choices made 10+ years ago when I was hacking together HammUEr with separate code paths for different types of "oh please add this one too" slightly different MAP-based formats

Turfster@turfster· 25d

Shitty Kolourpaint image macro featuring two frames from the Pacific Rim (2013) Double Event Speech.

A scientist is writing on a chalkboard full of complex equations.
I've subtitled this "Every new UK prime minister disappoints the people at an increasingly faster rate."

The scientist turns to the camera to continue.
I've subtitled this "The new one hasn't even officially assumed the mantle yet, and is already doing it."

Turfster@turfster· Jul 12

*tapping The Sign of The Times again*

A tumblr text post by user nitewrighter from March 26

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

#the current horror 2025 edition

Turfster@turfster· Jul 11

pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars to show it off on their mantlepiece, of course! Doesn't it look amazing!

FIFA's product shot of their grifty bullshit.
It's a rectangular bit of pitch and grass encased in an acrylic block that's branded with "fifa world cup 2026 final new york new jersey stadium july 19 2026", the example (since it's not played yet, their bullshot lists TEAM A 1 | 3 TEAM B as the score)

Turfster@turfster· Jul 3

Me: "I'll just quickly look something up on microslop's .NET Reference Website... oh it's going to github now yeah sure fine lemme... why am I only getting results for some web sub-bullsh... what" An Attempt Was Made™

Screenshot of https://github.com/microsoft/referencesource/blob/main/wpf/src.zip

Instead of adding the WPF source files as searchable code to the repo like they did for a bunch of other thungs, they've just added it as a src.zip file. No, github didn't want to let me download the zip file, so I had to download a zip of the *entire* repo and then extract this zip file separately to find what I wanted...

Turfster@turfster· Jul 1

Edit of the "only throw" meme template
The text the dog with the ball in its mouth says in the 3 panels has been modified to read:
Pls BUY??
No OWN!!
ONLY BUY

Turfster@turfster· Jun 27

Unfortunately, anime isn't real. You can tell because it has people in charge say things like this.

Frame from the anime Egao no Taenai Shokuba desu, episode 8, around 7:18

The editor-in-chief of the manga magazine the main character is published in is turned towards the camera and replies "It's the leader's responsibility to deal with issues and handle the fallout." after the main character told her "Wow, being the editor-in-chief sounds like a lot of work."

Turfster@turfster· Jun 7

Wow the European Pay Transparency Directive (2023/970) is supposed to be active from today, but allegedly almost nobody is really ready and lobbyists keep trying to push back on it?

Turfster@turfster· Jun 5

Hang on, gotta make a call

Whole man disposal services meme.
It features a classic white and green garbage truck with the words "whole man disposal sevices" on it, some humanoid figures sticking out of the back. One of them is on the ground next to it, looking like it has either fallen out, or is ready at the curb for taking away.
It's subtitled "Yes, the entire man."

Turfster@turfster· Jun 3

theyre_the_same_picture.jpg

Frame from around 7 seconds into the youtube short https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEUva_FRUMI about the elastomeric Sticky Hand toy that was popular back in the 80s, where you basically threw the "hand" part of it at something and held on to the end of the stretchy wobbly strap attached to it. The "hand" usually stuck to whatever was in its path with a satisfying 'slap'.

The presenter Alyshia has just thrown the hand at a piece of paper on the table in front of her, and is yoinking both back towards her.
There is a subtitle that reads "invented by a guy called Ken Hakuta"

A frame from yesterday's 24! minute God of War Laufey trailer.
At around 18:26, Laufey sends a guy flying into the air.
There's some kind of orange spectral form in front of her that, through some kind of thick wobbly strand, is connected to a flat giant hand that's holding the guy in the air.

Turfster@turfster· Jun 1

Cropped frame of Calvin's dad explaining something from the Calvin & Hobbes record player comic, where he explains that two points on a record move at different speeds, which has been reappropriated by the internet for the "Playing X? I'll Show You Something Interesting" meme where everything is classified as one of two different kinds of thing

Turfster@turfster· May 29

Ah, the 80s, when computers were still Magical

Turfster@turfster· May 24

Like, legit, this shit is making me hiss and growl like a demon splashing around in a holy water font, and is making me think my days with UE are numbered, or at least will Version Stop Dead once they push Tim Epic's putrid verse crap through.

A frame from the Rocket League teaser trailer above, which shows 5 different types of games next to each other. There's Person With Gun Shooting At Not Warcraft Lich King, Totally Not Disney Castle, Rocket League of course, Humanoid characters Flying Through A Spiral of Screens for User Created Game Experiences™ Chasing That Roblox Money, and Official LEGO Game Mode.
At the top of the screen, there's a horrifying "verse://rocketleague.com" prompt in an Unreal-branded input box thingy.

Turfster@turfster· May 14

Screenshot of an old tweet by the user @ProBirdRights that reads: "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?"

Turfster@turfster· May 11

Quelqu'un l'a déjà faite, ma blague bidon?

Turfster@turfster· May 7

This is the distilled essence of these fucking people, really, if you think about it, down to the fact that they're all giving themselves psychosis because of a perceived need to, what, not fall behind?

Spider-man (2002) meme, where Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn tells Peter Parker he's "something of a scientist myself". Norman Osborn, famous for injecting himself with a substance that wasn't tested or understood enough all because he didn't want to fall behind the competition and lose a contract... after which he went psychotic and became the Green Goblin.

Turfster@turfster· Mar 24

www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/n... "accelerate their stock options vesting through January 2027"

Meme image from the TV show American Horror Story: Asylum (Season 2)

Subtitled close-up of actress Jessica Lange's face as she's venomously throwing the words "There's not going to be a swimming pool, you stupid slut." at an unseen character off-screen.

I've badly shopped the image's text to read "There's not going to be a stock market, you stupid slut."

Turfster@turfster· Mar 13

cover of Philippe Geluck's "Le Chat" comic.

It features an adult, human-sized, anthropomorphic cat in a business suit and tie pointing at a newspaper he's holding, a speech bubble above his head reading "It's me..." (in French).
The visible newspaper page has, under lines alluding to text, a drawing of the same character at the bottom, which points to the suited character. The speech bubble above its head says "It's him." (again, in French)

Turfster@turfster· Mar 8

I know who can help with that

Theatrical poster for the 1987 James Bond movie The Living Daylights

Turfster@turfster· Feb 20

I'm so sorry this happened to you, sometimes people truly can be the worst... I would, like others have suggested, contact their university with receipts.

Turfster@turfster· Feb 18

I remember finding this, my first non-Kidby cover, in an Australian bookstore in like 98 and being physically repulsed.

Harper Prism cover for the Terry Pratchett novel Interesting Times, using a very... weird font for both.

It's main feature is a butterfly with a pattern that sort of evokes a Chinese opera mask design on it, over a background that's... to be honest, I have no idea what it's supposed to be? I *think* it's supposed to evoke like "massive supercomputer"? But we all know Hex er, isn't that, so... big "did the artist even read the book" moment.

And to add insult to injury, it has a Funny Tagline. "Not tested on animals. You'll be the first!"
Ha ha. Oh, how we are laughing.

Turfster@turfster· Jan 14

Really, no-one's done this one yet? I'm the first one?

Frame from the movie Wayne's World (1992)
The main characters Wayne and Cassandra's are blurry in the foreground on the left side, bookmarking the focus point of the shot with a guitar store clerk on the other side of the frame. They're all looking at an in-focus sign on the wall, which reads "NO stairway to heaven"

Turfster@turfster· Jan 10

It came to me in a dream

X-Men First Class (2011) Michael Fassbender/Magneto The Real Raven Perfection meme template.
It is divided into 3 sets of 2 images, juxtaposing something on the left with a progression of Michaels Fassbender on the right to match the flow of the movie scene.

Left side 1: ARC Raiders, a recent "multiplayer extraction adventure"
Right side 1: Michael Fassbender looking into the camera, subtitled "Show me true extraction gameplay"
Left side 2: Escape From Tarkov, the game that "pioneered the genre of extraction shooters"
Right side 2: Michael Fassbender is still looking at us. "I said *true* extraction gameplay", the true italicised for emphasis
Left side 3: The cover of a Thief Collection set, which includes Thief: The Dark Project, Thief II: The Metal Age, and Thief: Deadly Shadows
Right side 3: We now have a close-up of his face. "Perfection."

... because you "extract" loot from each level and use it to buy tools for the next one, mostly arrows that you shoot at torches etc.

Sorry.

Turfster@turfster· Jan 6

Turfster@turfster· Dec 28

Someone showed me this kettle and Oh No It's Spreading Beyond Gaming™

5 images of the same "Emerio" electric kettle, in various stages of boiling water:

At 50°C, the ring of leds in the base, because that's a normal thing to have, are green
At 70°C, they're aquamarine
At 80°C, they're a deeper blue
At 90°C, they're purple
At 100°C, they're red

Turfster@turfster· Dec 21

Second panel from the "two cakes" meme image, originally about artist insecurity about their work

It features a stick figure with a wide smile, holding a knife and fork. In front of them are a two layer, richly decorated cake, and a more plain single layer one. The stick figure exclaims "Holy shit! Two cakes!"

Unfortunately, on second thought, this might be a bad analogy, because these cakes are laced with toxic masculinity. They belong on the floor, smashed to shit.

Sorry.

Turfster@turfster· Dec 16

Meme image of Jason Momoa crouching low and sneaking up behind Henry Cavill at a red carpet event, which matches the quoted image of two cats in approximately the same positions (mirrored horizontally)

Turfster@turfster· Nov 25

Me: "okay you've got Moushley Graham, and of course Samouse Aran... but good comedy comes in threes... I need another character to complete the set..." My 3AM brain:

The banner image for Angela "Mercy" Ziegler from Overwatch, where the camera is tilted to look at her with a slight upward angle.
The rays of the sun at her back radiate around the wings of her swift response suit, and she's reaching out-and-down towards you-the-viewer as if to help you up, evoking biblical imagery of angels.
The halo that's part of her outfit might have something do with that as well, of course.

Would her mouse version be called Mousey? Moursey? An exercise left to the reader.

Turfster@turfster· Nov 19

Cropped version of a Spanish meme image of a man dramatically raising a playing card high in the air, preparing to throw it onto a pile on the table. The man is labelled "Yo" (me), and the card is labelled "El problema es el capitalismo" (Capitalism is the problem)

Turfster@turfster· Nov 14

"Stop complaining, he's obviously not going to be around all the time, you can see a whole bunch of other characters in the trailer" If armoured 'yay not in a cubicle' guy is their opener, and thus presumably *strongest* work... I can't even imagine the dozen of other randos nobody asked for.