WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦

@winchesterlunch

Work in IT but also write historical novels. #1 bestseller debut published by Harper Collins London Irish. You can take the girl out of Cricklewood but you can't etc

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Bluesky

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WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· 24d

A picture of Gordon Brown and Shakira, clinking mugs of tea or coffee together. They are both smiling. Gordon is not doing one of his "i've just eaten a hot chip' smile. It looks natural, and who can blame him.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jul 6

ok done -

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jul 3

@stephenkb.bsky.social this has made me laugh far more than it should

Clip from a timeline - Stephen Bush is praising the london cable car and immediately beneath the morrowind bot is thanking him and offering him a magic bracer

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jun 30

Timeline go crazy

A post containing information about how to care for pet rabbits. It is followed immediately by a post from someone else showing a rabbit annoyed by the way he and his fellow buns are portrayed in medieval manuscripts. Particularly his brother, who is being ridden by a dog with a spear. To get revenge, the rabbit mounts a snail and waves his own spear at the dog. A monk, illuminating a manuscript, draws the scene.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jun 26

Get in!

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· May 23

Before and after. The before picture does not convey quite how ghastly it was. If anyone in Winchester needs their patio doing I can recommend the guy who did ours. He was awesome.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· May 19

Will, your timing is terrible. This is such a cursed juxtaposition

A non linked graphic listing all the ways in which different countries emulate pig sounds

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· May 6

Proof of slightly menacing cat

A black cat stands on her back legs on a cat perch. She is leaning against one of the upright scratching posts. She has destroyed the post and twine has unraveled in her sharp-clawed wake. She is looking directly to camera with face that says she regrets nothing and will do it again.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· May 1

I'm not sure about the message in this Tesco ad for garden furniture. He is completely ignoring her whereas she looks as if she's about to burst into song. Perhaps she should leave him so she can sing to someone who appreciates it and he can marry the librarian he pines for.

An advertisement for garden furniture. Two chairs which don't look very comfortable, separate by a small table. A woman looks like she's talking animatedly or singing, or about to. On the other chair, a man sits, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. He is reading a book and completely ignoring her.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Apr 25

Love this time of year especially when this fellow blossoms. Smells so strongly of almonds it’s like being hit in the face with Bakewell slices every time I leave the house.

A blossoming clematis clinging to a wall. The flowers are pale pink with yellow centres and the whole thing smells like cake

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Apr 3

State of this decking. It's got to go and, indeed, is about to. Note my hapless attempt to lag the pipe next to the trellis. Cover fell off over winter and I pushed it back angrily (and even more haplessly). Those chairs were then when we moved in. Do not judge me.

A patio with grimy, ugly decking. There are some old, equally grimy and ugly white plastic patio chairs which have never been used sitting on top. Beneath are, I suspect, the carcasses of the many rats who take up residence there every winter. Their fate is about to come upon them.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Mar 1

Perfection, though I say so myself. I didn't even do it deliberately.

A graphic showing my writing progress for today. It comes out at a round 2k words which is making me feel very pleased with myself.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Feb 26

Using the Allistair Heath generator produced the following headline "Starmer is using menopausal cats to wage a vicious class war on Middle England"

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Feb 14

You have reached your destination

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Feb 7

Pub!

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Feb 4

Too late. Look what you’ve done - out of a leffe glass ffs

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jan 31

11 words. Unbelievable progress. It'll be finished by 2040.

Progress indicator on writing tool informs me that I wrote a grand total of 11 words yesterday.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Jan 1

>smug

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Dec 28

Met this fancy pants chonker on my walk yesterday. Came close but no strokes, quite shy. 10/10 cat points.

A curious grey/cream cat with pale blue eyes approaches cautiously. He looks ferocious but was actually quite shy and retiring.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Dec 26

Can’t argue with that.

A twilight sky with a country pub lit up with Christmas lights. The sign outside says “BEER” with a hand underneath. The index finger points towards the entrance.

WinchesterLunch 🇺🇦@winchesterlunch· Dec 6

Finally. Look at the size of the thing, it’s monstrous. Editing will not be fun, but I like to do it by hand so will be lugging this everywhere for weeks. Giving away the last word there an’ all. What a relief. Be drunk posting later I expect.