This is brilliant advertising for her new small business, Mommy's Coffee

(two hours later) sewing is great when you finally pick the right needle, tension, thread, stitch type, length, and width. Every few years I buy new pants, so every few years I reteach myself to sew. Because I'm a grown ass adult with a 27 inch inseam. (Gap "crop" length fits! And nothing else!)

It stopped raining just long enough to catch it a little!

WELP

The back yard making the annoying day at work go away.

I DROVE THROUGH MOUNTAINS ALL DAY I GOT SOME OF THE LAST HOTEL ROOMS AVAILABLE IN TOWN I GOT THE DEAD LASTEST 5 TICKETS TO THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS MOVIE IN THE 3 STATES ON OUR ROUTE, FRONT ROW, FUCKIT I AM ROCKING THE SHIT OUT OF THE NERDS GO WEST FLY FISHING FAMILY ROAD TRIP VACATION

My kid, getting into 1 of 4 boats with fishing guides: "Should I put on a life jacket?" "If you want to. I've never crashed a boat." "I was just asking because they're putting them on in that boat." "Well, yeah. That guy's crashed a boat before." 😆

My husband and I have always had "Free Palestine" stickers on our instrument cases. Our first stickers came from our high school Amnesty Imternational club ~1989. The Nakba was 40 years ago and Palestine was still not free. 2026, new case, new sticker, another 40yrs, Palestine is still not free.

Also needs a Personal Life subheading for her Intentionally Shitty Eyebrows decade

At the end of my husband's interview for his MD/PhD program, the people interviewing him expressed surprise at how low his essay score was on the entrance exam. They asked if he had bad handwriting, laughed, several of them had the same problem. Anyway, I need to ban him from the grocery list, wtf

Sat down on the porch with my trusty binder o' banjo tablature, and was reminded that a certain 22 year old bass player chose his future instrument at age 4 and immediately started writing sheet music for it. (The bottom part is the rhythm, I'm told.)

My daughter is in her final weeks of a 2-semester HVAC program. The end of the year carnival included a welding fuck-around station, and all her boy classmates were giving her so much (good-natured) shit for not having gotten her mom a mother's day gift that she welded me a flower and I love it 😂

"That's like... all of Vermont." My kid, half awake while shoving crackers in his mouth, when I asked why he was laughing. Soylent V.

Seems like everything went wrong right around 1979, I wonder if we could pinpoint a thing, an event maybe...

These are pretty fun. Knuckle-mounted chopsticks. snactiv.com

Starting to think every TV show, including shows that predate Happy Days, eventually jumps the shark, as I sit here in a waiting room under an episode of The Waltons that involves an aw-shucks country elder slowly becoming obsessed with a mysterious haunted statue as his family yells at him about it

If you see a restaurant in Wisconsin that serves nothing but macaroni and cheese, you might assume it would be very good, and you would be right.

I don't know why this so funny, but it is, thank you

Dear People Opening Businesses in Wisconsin, Yes, we like our badgers. OUR badgers. The State Animal is the species of that animal that is NATIVE TO THE STATE. European badgers are black with wide white stripes. American badgers are brown with narrow white stripes. Sigh, Wisconsin

So, my kid cooks and

A cowboy hat over lips might be good! Or maybe the whole face from the South Park version of Noem?

Anyone know why Hugleikur Dagsson got suspended yesterday? This place sucks. Anyway, if you don't know his work, you should, he's my favorite cartoonist. dagsson.com

I dunno, it seems like America has a lot of room in its heart for a luxury price tier of a budget product

Yesssss I want to make fun of it, but sure as hell don't want to read it. Thank you for being our pain sponge.

Putting that bottle in the fridge now in case this is the weekend It Happens

BEHOLD THE ONLY CORRECT RATIO OF REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER TO REESE'S CHOCOLATE REESTER BUNNIES