zach of the north

@zachofthenorth

porcelain / ivory / steel, chin / tits / shoe, and unfortunately the toronto maple leafs. he/him. canadian. my pro wrestling madness is on full display at @hitmanshades.bsky.social Fix your heart or die. Profile picture by @sanrixian.bsky.social

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Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y zachofthenorth.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jul 15

Photo taken without a camera filter, this is just straight up how things are now, I guess?

Just the yellowest, least healthy looking sky you ever did see. A couple of my neighbours’ houses are also visible, and some trees across the street, but everything is Yellow as all get out

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jul 14

Well fuck.

Cropped screenshot from the ol weather app. Currently 31°C, with a “yellow” heat warning that started ~6 hrs ago, just before 5am. The forecast for the day is shown:

11am =31
12pm = 32
1pm = 34
2pm = 35
3pm = 36
4pm = 35 (all Celsius)

I’ve included part of the forecast for the rest of the week, Wednesday the high is 31C (which is still too hot for me and for many) and Thursday 29C (an improvement mostly in name alone)

Or more succinctly, it’s hot.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jun 29

oh boy.

Partial screenshot from the weather app. Currently 25°C, but an “Orange” warning for heat tomorrow (I checked and it will be like 33°C, which, fuckin yikes)

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jun 18

Gotta bring back my tweet from the first rewatch ahead of S2 for this 🐉

The classic early Simpsons bit, Bart is in front of the family television with the remote control. On the screen you see Lisa and Ralph, just as she is about to tell Ralph that she only offered a valentine out of pity. The caption over the image reads, “Watch this, Lise. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart dips in half. And… Now.”

Criston Cole, the dimwitted fool, the absolute tool, as Rhaenyra’s tells him that no, she will not marry him to live in exile, she’s the goddamned future queen. The closed captioning reads “It is my duty” as she tells him her duty from out of frame

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jun 17

These two headlines being next to each other on the nhl app could mean the funniest thing (extremely derogatory)

A picture of John Tortorella, the worlds angriest man, with the headline “Tortorella won’t return as Golden Knights coach”

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jun 9

We don't usually see each others headers. Here's mine. Quote post with yours? My brothers and I at C’s wedding

The P****** boys in formal(ish?) attire:

My youngest brother with long hair in a Saul Goodman-coded suit
Me, in groomsmen grey with a forest green tie
My brother, the groom, Mr Wife Guy himself, in the same outfit as I am wearing
The oldest of my brothers, black shirt and a peach-cream tie

We are standing in an alleyway between two buildings (The Rope Factory) with lights trying up between the buildings behind us. We’re all smiling with arms around each other

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· May 1

#LetterboxdFriday #LastFourWatched Oops, All Bangers edition

Partial Letterboxd screenshot showing my (hashtag) last four watched:
Howl’s Moving Castle (four stars)
After Hours (4.5 stars and reviewed)
Hail Mary (4.5 stars and reviewed)
The Social Network (5 stars and reviewed)

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Apr 20

Motherf

Partial outlook screenshot. It shows the email is addressed to me (Zach, with my last name redacted) with visible text reading:

“Hi Zack,

I suggest you place the call once the move”

It’s impossible to just look at the contact info to see how my name is spelled, I guess

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Apr 8

I think my coworkers picked up on this; here’s what I found when I got to work this morning:

A (shared workspace) computer monitor is in the foreground, with a digital ‘sticky note’ in the lower right corner of the screen reading, “Be happy! :)”

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Mar 31

ok this is pretty good work, tidal, thank you for this

Partial Tidal screenshot of “my mix 7”

Pussy Palace, Lily Allen
Lua, Bright Eyes
Severed, The Decemberists
Strange Days, Matthew Good Band
Our Swords, Band of Horses
Don’t Walk Away Eileen, Sam Roberts
The Execution of All Things, Rilo Kiley
Your Ex-Lover is Dead, Stars (which is also shown as currently playing)

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Feb 18

Who needs to watch the games when you have canadian bluesky

Skyline screenshot of several accounts vaguely referring to what I can only assume was a world class play by former maple leaf Mitch marner in the canada x Czechia hockey game. Comments range from “Mitch Marner, amazing”, to “so it really was the leafs all along”, to “good for you, you son of a bitch”

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jan 19

#AKOTSK That one camp follower / sex worker doing the corpse cosplay:

Tidal screenshot of part of the lyrics to “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence:

Frozen (frozen) inside
without your touch,
without your love

Darling, only (only) you
are the life among the
dead

All this time, I can’t
believe I couldn’t see

Kept in the dark, but you
were there in front of me

I’ve been sleeping
a thousand years it seems

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jan 16

My employer very nearly had to call the police

The first two lines of the quoted skeet, which read only, “Bo Bichette reportedly agrees to three-year, $126-million contract with New York”, as the standard font used by bluesky ends that line of text before the word, “Mets”.

If Bo Bichette ever plays for the New York Yankees I will spontaneously combust.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jan 5

Starting off 2026 the right way (playing “Will I get written up for playing this song at my desk?”)

Tidal screenshot of the Lambrini Girls’ song, “Cuntology 101”

Partial lyrics from said song:

“Having cum on my shirt is cunty
Setting boundaries is cunty
Respecting others is cunty too
Putting yourself first is cunty
Learning to love yourself is cunty

C-U-N-T, I’m gonna do what’s best for me”

This is actually a very good New Year’s resolution song, if you ask me

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Jan 2

My boss: we are moving to a new building later this year. We will have AI surveillance monitoring. Me:

Andy Daly leaning forward with a look of incredulity on his face. He is blond haired and wearing short-framed glasses that are low on his nose. Beneath his face in yellow is the fake phone number

555-COME-ON-NOW

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 25

Due to overwhelming demand*, it is now time for the second first annual Drunk Die Hard Christmas *nobody asked for this.

A “Framed” screenshot of the opening from the 1988 action megahit Die Hard. A plane is landing at an airport, ostensibly LAX. The sky is yellowy-orange. You can see that this is the first screenshot clue for this Framed puzzle. You simply cannot trick me into believing that any single screenshot of Die Hard is any other movie, even one of the other half dozen Die Hards.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 6

The steelheads sent a pickup truck onto the ice to help collect all the stuffed animals

Another shot of the bench and ice, with a white pickup truck in the background, driving off the playing surface. It is absolutely FULL of teddy bears in the bed of the truck

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 6

At the Steelheads game, it’s “Teddy Toss” day, and, well, the home team scored

The downtrodden Saginaw Spirit bench, as they wait (and wait, and wait, and wait) for the fans to stop throwing teddy bears onto the ice, and then for the bears to be cleared out

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 3

Tis the season when my boss buys the lil boozy chocolates

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 3

After three months (plus a week), tidal tells me two truths and a lie:

My top album of 2025 was Billie Eilish’s “HIT ME HARD AND SOFT”

My top artist of 2025 was Metric.

No shit.

I am supposedly the 4th biggest fan of Sam Roberts

And while I definitely love some Sammy goodness, this is more of a lack of 40ish year old Canadians using Tidal than anything else

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Dec 2

Time to remove one of those pop culture blind spots

Promotional image for HBO’s “OZ”

A green-tinted door with the title “OZ” in green lettering. There is a very small window in the door, large enough only to see the eyes of a man who is standing right on the other side.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Nov 7

I’ve recently rediscovered that movies exist; they really are quite novel!

My ‘last four’:

Blue Velvet (3 stars)
Sinners (5 stars, marked as reviewed)
Weapons (4 stars)
Mean Girls (4.5 stars, marked as a rewatch)

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Oct 29

Really putting both the “NC-17” and “D” in NCC 1701-D

Screenshot of two posts, one each from two different Star Trek TNG gimmick accounts.

In the first, the account “Worf Email” (worfemail.bsky.social) posts,

“Engineering,

The current ship-wide malfunctions might be related to an attachment I emailed to lieutenant commander La Forge recently.

Worf”

The second post is from the “Riker Googling” account (rikergoogling.bsky.social):

“average klingon penis size”

Worf, of course, is a Klingon character.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Oct 28

Me at 3am: okay. 18th inning. I am very happy to have stayed up to watch this epic game of baseball Me at 1:45pm:

Screenshot from Final Fantasy IX. The summoned eidolon, Atomos, is seen in a grey-green sky outside the castle of Alexandria. It is sporting a gaping maw that has to be 300 feet across and 400 feet tall.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Oct 23

"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults—Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers, and personal growth over ten seasons.

From Game Changer season 5, “Battle Royale”, six of the players are on set reacting to something wild happening out of frame.

Left to right: Ally Beardsley, Tao Yang, Rekha Shankar, Jacob Wysocki, Vic Michaels, Lily Du

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Oct 15

ok sure

Screenshot (from my work computer…shhhh!) of ai propaganda disguised as a news item, “3 ways ai is helping the planet” by Vanessa Ho

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Oct 14

My coffee looks like it kidnapped the princess and is holding her in another castle

A “bird’s eye view” photo of my Tim hortons coffee. The lid design includes an impression similar to the maple leaf.

Two of the points of the maple leaf have slightly dried and darkened coffee in them. This resembles little triangular eyes with the opening of the lid resembling a large mouth and the flap of that opening resembling a snout.

The overall effect is that this looks like Bowser’s face from the Super Mario Bros games

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Sep 14

Beautiful afternoon for a ball game

The view of the skydome outfield from my seat for today’s blue jays game

The view of the skydome infield from my seat for today’s blue jays game

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Aug 15

I’ve been saying it for 20+ years, the hives forever, forever the hives What a gift to find on a Friday morning

Partial spotify screenshot, showing the cover image of the latest release from The Hives.

The album cover image shows all five members of the band posing together rather seriously, wearing large crowns and large regal robes.

The album title is The Hives Forever Forever The Hives.

zach of the north@zachofthenorth· Aug 11

Boss ain’t here, step-boss ain’t here, and within an hour or so I ain’t gonna be here, either. I am not made for this