ace (@aceanbender) · DIRTY

ace

@aceanbender

avi: me, a late-30s white guy with glasses and a mustache. banner: brooke quarles daniels giving kim barnes arico puffs tear down the bo statue. writer with me/cfs, audhd, more. wbb coverage: thebucketproblem.beehiiv.com tips: ko-fi.com/ace_anbender

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ace@aceanbender· 24d

not loving this sale, kroger

Peak Season Produce
Shop All Produce
on sale for $2.99
Taylor Farms®
Protein+ Caesar C...
10.95 oz
on sale for
$2.99
Taylor Farms
Protein Southwest...
10.9 oz

ace@aceanbender· 25d

getting a strong sense that it wouldn't even be a fun bad movie now

The New Guy is a 2002 American teen comedy film directed by Ed Decter, written by David Kendall and starring DJ Qualls, Eliza Dushku, Zooey Deschanel, Lyle Lovett, and Eddie Griffin. The film tells the story of a scrawny high schooler named Dizzy Harrison (Qualls) gets himself expelled to reinvent his identity at a new school. With advice from a prison inmate (Griffin), he transforms into the "cool" Gil Harris, winning over the school and dating the head cheerleader (Dushku). The New Guy was released by Sony Pictures Releasing on May 10, 2002. The film received generally negative reviews, but was a modest box office success.

ace@aceanbender· 26d

unfathomably broken institution www.mlive.com/news/ann-arb...

TRAVERSE CITY, MI - University of Michigan President Domenico Grasso told MLive on Thursday that he believes Warde Manuel remains "one of the best athletic directors in the country," offering a public vote of confidence amid questions about Manuel's future.
Grasso spoke with MLive after UM leaders met Thursday morning in Traverse City for a monthly board of regents meeting. School officials did not discuss during the hour-long meeting the results of the two investigations into the athletic department - one into former football coach Sherrone Moore's relationship with a subordinate and another into the overall athletic department's culture.

ace@aceanbender· 26d

my parents are on vacation and this is how i learned canada uses the “this is spinal tap” scale for measuring air quality

A Severe Weather
Orange Warning - Air Quality. These conditions started at 5:46 AM (EDT), Thursday, July 16.
Environment Canada, the Province of Ontario
11 - Very High Health Risk
Air quality index is 11, which is worse than yesterday at about this time.

ace@aceanbender· 26d

this was so lovely

catwings, a 24-minute audiobook written and narrated by ursula k. le guin. it’s a children’s fantasy story about a litter of kittens with wings who leave the city for the country.

ace@aceanbender· 28d

WSJ report:

One major warning sign appeared before Moore even took the sideline for his first game as head coach. Two days before the 2024 season kickoff, athletic director Warde Manuel raised concerns with Moore about the coach's close relationship with his executive assistant, Paige Shiver, according to the law firm's findings.

"I told him I didn't remember if we had already discussed, but that she couldn't accompany him on trips," Manuel wrote in a previously unreported note on Aug. 29, 2024, handwritten on Michigan letterhead.

screencap of stringer bell from the wire looking down with the caption "is you taking notes on an intra-office fucking relationship?"

ace@aceanbender· 29d

that’s a keeper

a tsn quote-graphic showing toronto tempo player marina mabrey:

*DEEP BREATH* I AM WORKING ON NOT BEING RAGE BAITED.
MARINA MABREY ON TENSIONS RISING IN THE FOURTH QUARTER VS. LIBERTY

ace@aceanbender· 29d

this week has barely started and it’s shaping up to be an absolute banger

Ross Dellenger @RossDellenger
The future of Michigan AD Warde Manuel is in doubt in the wake of a report of an internal investigation around the Sherrone Moore saga, sources tell @YahooSports. A Michigan Board meeting is scheduled for Thursday, where officials are expected to further respond to the report.

ace@aceanbender· Jul 12

the angry goose meme. top panel is just a goose with its mouth open and a speech bubble edited to say "disagreed on what." the bottom panel shows the goose chasing after a person with a speech bubble edited to say "disagreed on what motherfucker."

ace@aceanbender· Jul 11

we'll forgive the misspelling, it is big news

bluesky trending topics:
1. world cup
2. moxxie

ace@aceanbender· Jul 10

[“guess who’s back” by scarface blasts over the loudspeaker]

moxie, a nine-pound goldendoodle, pauses in the kitchen just long enough for me to capture a not-too-blurry photo. she’s looking into the camera and has her tongue out. her muzzle is trimmed closer than usual, emphasizing her button nose.

ace@aceanbender· Jul 10

the incomparable moxie arrives tomorrow morning for a full weekend of serving looks

a selfie of me, a late-30s bespectacled white guy with a trimmed brown beard, and moxie, a tiny goldendoodle. we're sitting in the sunroom back in march. i'm wearing a cream hoodie and a blue beanie. she's wearing a white fleece vest.

ace@aceanbender· Jul 8

incredible sequence of quotes/events lmao www.espn.com/nba/story/_/...

Tim Hardaway Sr. previously said he wouldn't let his retired number come back into circulation for the Heat, noting to WQAM radio in Miami last week: "My legacy is my legacy, and (my son is) doing it his way."
But Hardaway Jr. told the media Wednesday that things changed after some family discussions.
"I think the first go-round was a personal decision," he said of his father's initial thoughts.
"The second go-round was a family decision."

ace@aceanbender· Jul 3

proof of going outdoors this week before the weather got unbearable

selfie of me, a bespectacled late-30s white guy with a full brown beard flecked with gray, sitting on a gray deck chair with woods in the background

ace@aceanbender· Jul 1

doing some research www.nbl1.com.au/player-listi...

a graphic for australian nbl1 women's basketball league player Lil Dart of the Elthan Wildcats

ace@aceanbender· Jun 29

pausa de hidratación

two bottles of coca-cola on a counter next to a sign promoting 2 free michigan football tickets against minnesota with the purchase of any 2 coca-cola products

ace@aceanbender· Jun 28

image of jeffrey tambor as george bluth in arrested development. he's wearing an orange prison jumper, has his eyes closed in despair, and the caption is slightly edited to say "i got the worst [bleep] senators."

ace@aceanbender· Jun 27

just figured out i've been doing something very stupid

ace@aceanbender· Jun 26

once again deploying someone else’s dog

selfie of me, a late-30s white guy with a full brown beard flecked with gray, leaning over a small brown dog of uncertain breed who’s staring into the camera

selfie of me, a late-30s white guy with a full brown beard flecked with gray, looking down at a small brown dog of uncertain breed who’s looking up to give me a smooch

ace@aceanbender· Jun 26

oh jesus fucking christ man

"I'm sorry," he said at the meeting, which was the first he attended since the story was published. "I'm sorry for the distraction, the disappointment and the pain that the situation has caused over the last two months. Much has been said and written about me. Some of it, I believe, has been unfair.
Some of it has felt like a deliberate attempt to define me by my worst moments and mistakes, but today is not about that. Today is about accountability."

ace@aceanbender· Jun 25

the setting sun peering out from behind the famously phallic ypsilanti water tower

ace@aceanbender· Jun 25

impeccable timeline synergy here

Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social • 56s
Joined May '23
From a basketball perspective, I can see how you might think Naz could be limiting, but I also think that if LaMelo was what you think he could be, and maybe this is where the off-court stuff comes into play, the Hornets wouldn't be willing to trade him.

Bradford William Davis •@bwd.bsky.social • 1m
Joined Jun '23
personally handing Lamelo a Twin Cities Metro transit card

ace@aceanbender· Jun 25

jeff gordon stands, arms raised, in the window of his dupont-sponsored car in victory lane at darlington

ace@aceanbender· Jun 24

that's gotta be one of the wildest wikipedia summaries in existence

John du Pont
American heir to the Du Pont family fortune, ornithologist, conchologist, murderer
(1938-2010)

ace@aceanbender· Jun 23

i’m taking this as gospel and laughing my fucking ass off

instagram post:
RECRUITS CFB
recruits.cfb
[photo of Jordan Acker looking like a total dipshit]
recruits.cfb Dusty May is rumored to have left Michigan due to reading a report on the Wolverine's athletic program following an investigation conducted by a Chicago law firm. The reports release is expected to be imminent. (SWIPE)

recruits.cfb Dusty May is rumored to have left Michigan due to reading a report on the Wolverine's athletic program following an investigation conducted by a Chicago law firm. The reports release is expected to be imminent. (SWIPE)
Michigan hired Jenner & Block in November 2025 after an alleged tip football HC Sherrone Moore was involved romantically with a support staffer. As of March 2026 the firm had billed the university over $11.5 million, with April's costs yet to be released.
Another key point of the investigation involves Michigan Regent (trustee) Jordan Acker. Acker is alleged to have
"sent lewd text messages about a Democratic strategist and a female UM student, which included her picture."
The main reason given behind the broad scope of the investigation is the culture around Michigan football, including former assistant Matt Weiss being arrested by the FBI for stealing over 3000 photos of student athletes by hacking into personal accounts.
The university confirmed in late April they had hired another firm: Weil, Gotshal & Manges. No further details were given.
This athletic department, despite success across various sports, has been somewhat of a dumpster fire for years now. What do you think about Michigan?
6 hours ago

ace@aceanbender· Jun 22

the adam silver "get ready to learn chinese, buddy" meme but "chinese" is replaced with "ypsilanti"

ace@aceanbender· Jun 19

lmaoooooo

ace@aceanbender· Jun 19

thierry henry leaving alexi lalas looking like a fool on the fox set with a nasty dribble move

henry laughing to the camera while lalas appears stuck in the middle of an awkward jig after the move and zlatan laughs in the background

ace@aceanbender· Jun 17

well, it appears to be my time. it’s been real.

Brice Marich
@BriceMarich • 2h
#Michigan has offered 2029 WR and legacy recruit, Mario Manningham Jr.
Camped in Ann Arbor and earned an offer after his showing.

ace@aceanbender· Jun 16

cannot believe she's been called violent, insists upon her innocence bsky.app/profile/accx...

an eight-pound goldendoodle laying on a reddish-orange couch looking incredulously into the camera