Alexander Hay

@alexanderhay

Writer of weird fiction. Querying away. Dank Goblin. NUJ member. That's definitely me in the profile photo. Blocks AI on sight. alexanderhay.co.uk alexanderhay.neocities.org/ instagram.com/alexanderhayauthor/ orcid.org/0000-0003-1965-9764

5.457 Folgt4.678 Follower7.204 Posts

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Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jun 19

An utterly savage, utterly brilliant summation of the US-Iran peace deal, care of Coco over at France's Libération newspaper. (Dated: 19 June 2026) #Trump #Iran #Khamenei #Hormuz

A cartoon by French artist Coco, for Liberation newspaper. White background. Donald Trump, in a grey suit, and with his too-long red tie, is bend over, signing the peace deal he struck with Iran. But he is in terrible pain, sweating, his eyes tightly shut. He is also bent over, and the reason why is in the form of a generic black-clad, bearded Iranian mullah, also snarling with exertion. Why? Because he has forced his arm so far up Trump's bottom, it has emerged out of the latter's mouth and its hand is signing Iran's part of the deal.

Both pens are making a 'Scritch' sound.

Written at the top, in red calligraphic text, is the following:

"...ACCORD SIGNE DES DEUX PARTIES!"

Which translates from the French to:

"Agreement signed by the two parties!"

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jun 14

Well, that depends on what they mean by 'excellent care':

A diagram from a US mortuary equipment supplier, showing, in simple terms, 'THE EMBALMING PROCESS'. A rather happy looking bald corpse with minimal details, and no genitals, lies prone as his vital fluids are extracted and replaced with preservatives. Devices and implements such as an embalming machine, arterial tube, aneurism hook and trocar are also featured. Capitalised red and blue sans serif font is used throughout. Off-white background.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jun 12

My BlueSky group chat.

Alexander Hay lookalike Trixie The Cat poses with her human, Henry Wriothesley, 3rd Earl of Southampton, in their famous 1603 portrait (possibly) by John de Crtiz. She's a fierce looking tuxedo cat. He's a tall, long featured and lightly bearded Tudor chap with a notably high forehead and long hair. He is wearing black clothes with white lace cuffs and wide shirt collar, which may suggest he was trying to look a bit like his cat. As you do. His right hand is gloved and holding the left hand's glove. The left hand, needless to say, is uncovered and has a ring on the little finger. In the background is the standard pleasant Tudor/Jacobean background of solid wood fittings and diamond glass windows. In the top right corner, we see a small but detailed depiction of the Tower of London, where our Henry was imprisoned for a time, and where Trixie famously broke in to keep him company. Because she was hardcore. Written below this is the following legend in Latin: "In vinculis invictus." This translates as "in bonds, yet unconquered", which is certainly one way to describe one's time in chokey.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jun 8

We don’t usually see each other’s headers. Here’s mine. Look at all those lovely links.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· May 28

A pastiche of the late 1960s Doctor Who opening sequence, featuring black and white psychedelic swirls in the background, and the episode's title rendered in capitalised, faintly futuristic sans serif font.

Having used the generator to create this pastiche, I made full use of the opportunity to make the title say: "RTD NEEDS TO JUST FUCK OFF NOW", a classic serial featuring Patrick Troughton, Frazier Hines, Wendy Padbury and Deborah Watling taking turns to hit Russell Davis around the head with a shovel, and then travelling back in time to do it again.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· May 16

QTP with your favorite Disney princess.

The magnificent spectacle of the Queen Xenomorph, from Aliens (1986), a combination of spider, bio-mechanical lifeform, Lovecraftian horror and dragon, literally crowned with a chitinous crest. She's also seeing that Ripley woman for the first time, who's going to murder her entire brood because, you know, she's a total bitch...

Also, technically, a Disney princess since 2017, when the House of Mouse hived 20th Century Fox.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· May 5

Challenge accepted.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Apr 18

Gamedevs! The Retrocollective has relaunched the old Mastertronic budget software label and is looking for (fittingly enough) retro-flavoured games for all platforms, including the original 8-bits it once catered for. Check the image below for info. Or just e-mail mastertronic@retrocollective.co.uk

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Mar 28

My waifu pushed the boat out and made this Easter Bonnet for our youngest. BUT IT DID NOT WIN THE CONTEST! Please acknowledge your disappointment in the comments.

An Easter Bonnet styled on a Spring Chick. It's made from a straw hat, googly eyes, card and small fluffy chick accessories, with a cute orange rectangular beak. There are also 'feathers', cornflowers, an egg or two, and some small green leaves. The background is blurred. Seriously, she was up all night working on this one.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Mar 26

Dead baby; dinner.

A black background. On the right, what appears to be a pencil with a white, perhaps even bone-like lead. Its 'wood' is deep red, and its body is painted a pale flesh-like colour. Blood is running down the pencil from its ferrule.

On the right, in creepy white courier font, is the instruction: "Write a horror story using only 3 Words".

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jan 20

He posted this load of self-pitying, self-serving pro-AI shit on Facebook today:

Pro-AI mark 'Glasgalf' posts the following missive on Facebook, dated 19/01/2026, 17:08 GMT, claiming that if you disagree with AI, you may as well be shooting guide dogs or something.

"Disappointed but not surprised, no wonder the left gets nowhere. Can't even try to improve accessibility without being called a traitor, a bastard blah blah

"Honestly go fuck yourselves, I will NOT apologise for making my life and others easier

"This all or nothing with AI is fucking pish, medicine and accessibility is one area it should absolutely be used in

"Should it be used to steal art? Fuck no, but if you want to burn bridges with people over it, off you go then

"I have no issue with people disliking AI, I probably 90% hate it, it should be a tool to assist humans, not replace them

"Yes there's software that already exists but I've had that before, needed to use a PC, had to pay for it if I wanted a good version, this is already installed onto my phone, it's free, it's accessible.

"Edit - why I use it in this one particular use..."

[Much mewling later.]

"...So yeah people could maybe argue I should just use more effort and find alternatives, but I don't see the merit in that argument, I'm a small page, a small fly in the scheme of AI usage, and I use it for one small purpose

"But now I'm a traitor 🙄"

[He then foots this message with a pro-AI meme, because he's incapable of standing his argument up otherwise.]

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jan 12

And somewhat inevitably, she hasn't a clue about AI and its repercussions. Data centres today, slop factories tomorrow! She then has the cheek to appeal to decency.

A post from a Guardian Politics live thread, 12/01/2026. It features a mixture of bold, italicised and standard modern serif text, plus a red hyperlink, and a red text/icon share button at the bottom.

The text reads like so:

"1h ago 17.14 GMT

"Kendall concluded:

"I believe, and the government believes, AI is a transformative technology which has the power and potential to bring around extraordinary and welcome change, creating jobs and growth, diagnosing and treating diseases, helping children learn at school, tackling climate change and so much more besides.

"But, in order to seize these opportunities, people must feel confident that they and their children are safe online and that AI is not used for destructive and abusive ends.

"Many tech companies want to and are acting responsibly, but where they do not, we must and we will act. Innovation should serve humanity, not degrade it.

"So we’ll leave no stone unturned in our determination to stamp out these demeaning, degrading and illegal images.

"If that means strengthening the existing laws, we are prepared to do so because this government stands on the side of decency."

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jan 12

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Liz Kendall is a mouse, much like Starmer. Here, she argues people should keep eating sewage because millions of people eat sewage, in the best circular logic traditions:

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jan 12

Hang on, are you telling me it was LEGAL to make non-consensual intimate images (in the UK) until now?

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jan 3

Bot accounts ahoy.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Dec 28

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Dec 3

CAMRA, the UK Campaign for Real Ale, has just gotten into bed with far right 'news' channel, GB News:

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Nov 19

What with Trump calling a female reporter 'Piggy', I really should note his uncanny resemblance to Charles Le Brun's Pig Man and Boar Man. (1671) In the interests of balance, you understand.

Bizarre orange creature Donald Trump doing that thing with his mouth that looks like an anus. As ever, he has a crap comb-over, nasty piggy eyes and bristly eyebrows, plus generally porcine and brutish features. This will become more relevant in the proceeding images. He's wearing one of his cheap suits with a blue tie. In the background, we see the US flag and the banner of the US army, plus what looks like a mixture of dark grey and white tiles. Originally a screen capture from 'Fox & Friends' in April 2018.

Charles Le Brun's study of 'pig men' contrasted with a 'normal' pig. They swine-men have faintly snouted profiles, big noses and piggy eyes, somewhat inevitably looking a bit like Trump. Speaking of which...

Circa, 1671. Public domain.

Next, Charles Le Brun's study of a 'boar man' contrasted with a 'normal' boar. The boar man looks a bit mean-spirited and Brutish, and very much resembles an ancestor of current US embarrassment/POTUS, Donald Trump. Both boar-man and boar have a bristly vibe about them, and a nasty, feral dullness in the eyes. Not that I am implying anything here.

And in the boar man's defence, he does seem to still have a full head of hair, a moustache and a faint beard, which Trump seems incapable of growing.

Circa, 1671. Public domain.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Nov 11

It seems Samir Shah, as well as Robbie Gibb, is part of the problem at the BBC, not least due to the former's "how dare you question me, peasant!" vibe.

A screen capture from The Guardian's politics livethread, 11/11/2025, around 18:07 GMT. White background, black modern serif font, hyperlinks in red and underlined. Some text in bold.

The body text goes:

"Shah dismisses staff question about board's values as 'disrespectful'
Frances Mao

Frances Mao is a Guardian reporter.

Another question posed to Samir Shah, the BBC chair, and Tim Davie, the outgoing director general, during the all-staff call this morning was whether the BBC board executives were adhering to the corporation’s six core BBC Values, as listed in its charter and mission statement.

Every BBC employee is required to uphold these values which include Trust (being independent, impartial and truthful), being Accountable (and delivering work of the highest quality) and Respect (being kind and championing inclusivity)..."

I've highlighted the next paragraph as it is the most important one:

"...Shah took the question and said that, of course board members upheld the values. He went on to twice describe the question as 'disrespectful of the people on the board of the BBC'..."

And the excerpt concludes with:

"...He repeated lines he said on Monday when asked about political interference or pressure on the board. 'It’s important that people have a diversity of opinion on the board,' he said..."

(That probably explains the Dalek and Noseybonk's presence on the board.)

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Nov 3

Post something random or you’ll have an awful November

The main atrium of a Victorian mansion, shot from the first floor landing, looking diagonally down. Part of the stair case and wooden pillar holding up part of the landing can be seen, alongside the deep red carpet and dark pine paneling featured throughout. We can see a small black coffee table and cream-brown leather sofa on the ground floor, next to the stair case. The sofa has a pleasant light green floral cushion. The ground floor's, err, floor is covered in beautiful geometric pattern tiles. An alcove, next to the pillar can be seen, with a lamp hanging underneath the landing. It has a closed door. To the right, we can see part of the door way, and here the oak paneling gives way to white plaster, small rectangular windows, a white radiator, fire extinguishers and a welcome mat, before a blue main door.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Nov 2

So, Blackpool's North Pier is bragging about having a full house in its theatre for an audience with... Katie Hopkins. But then it closes down the comments, just in case. (FYI: the North Pier is up for sale. It's also where Harry Corbett bought the puppet that would become 'Sooty'.)

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Sep 27

Apropos of nothing, I found this panel (from the Crimson Fall comic) utterly hilarious, as I am both dark and depraved. Thanks, @laufman.bsky.social!

A long, close up, rectangular panel from the Crimson Fall comic. It's black and white, and has an art style somewhere between the detailed gothic horrors of Beserk and the cartoony flourishes of Gravity Falls.

The panel features our hero, the ever-so-slightly violent Sir Duncross, a large, grumpy bearded man wearing scale or chain mail under a tabard, his hands covered by leather gauntlets. He snarls (a bit like a cartoon bear rendered in the CalArts style, it has to be said) as he jams his bastard sword sideways into the mouth of a corrupted monk, looking like a cross between 1922's version of Nosferatu and Eagle Comic's Doomlord.

Blood spurts out of the hell-monk's mouth, its eyes unsettlingly blank. Ironically, it still wears a cross on a chain around its neck, which waves in the air through the force of the killing blow.

SFX: GLURP
Hell-Monk: Glargh!
Sir Duncross: Die, you evil shite!

For some reason, I find this hilarious.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Sep 16

if u see this quote with the energy u bring to bluesky

A close up of an oil painting from the early modern period, featuring a very grumpy tuxedo cat called Trixie. She is noted for breaking into the Tower of London to provide company to her primary feeder, Lord Henry Wriotheseley, the 3rd Earl of Southampton. Painted by John de Critz, c. 1603.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Sep 13

As fascists march in London, Blackpool continues to disgrace itself in all manner of new and exciting ways.

A screen capture of a Facebook post by "Scotties Got It", a Blackpool seaside shop selling the sort of cheap 'n cheerful paraphenalia you get in such places. These include sun hats, balls, tat, and England flags. LOTS of England flags.

The image is a 3/4 close up shot of the shopfront.

The accompanying text says:

"Stop the boats Scottie’s supporting all patriots who have traveled to London ❤️please keep it peaceful ❤️"

Dated: 13/09/2025, 11.31 BST.

Original URL: https://www.facebook.com/ScottiesgotitBlackpool/posts/pfbid0WPkB4MLSVqm2SeeSJZ6sj3kFHaAAr4Z9LiUNmLGJL1MB9u3sMZnvqHH5bNct8hcUl

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Sep 13

It's almost as if the Metropolitan Police don't want to offend any future employers. And note who DOES get the Fingermen treatment. "Police are not using live facial recognition in its policing of the ‘Unite the Kingdom’ demonstration..." www.theguardian.com/politics/liv...

A screen capture from a live thread on The Guardian web site, 13/09/2025, at approx 11.29 BST.

The post uses The Guardian's usual modern black serif font, with italics for quotes and bold for emphasis. Red text is used to draw attention to the 'Share' button. White background.

The post reads:

"Police are not using live facial recognition in its policing of the ‘Unite the Kingdom’ demonstration which is beginning on London’s south bank, reports the PA news agency.

"It said:

"'We’re using a mobile CCTV van to help monitor the build up of crowds. Officers have been asked if it’s using ‘live facial recognition’ – we can confirm it is not.'

"The live facial recognition technology – which captures people’s faces in real-time CCTV cameras – was used in the policing operation at the Notting Hill carnival."

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Aug 26

The (Britain First-funded) flag-shagging campaign has just reached a roaring crescendo.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Aug 19

As predicted, there are now voices in the UK clamouring for VPNs to be 'age restricted' (as in, used to screw you out of your personal data). Meanwhile, the kids are all 'accidentally' finding porn, Online Safety Act or no Online Safety Act. Rachel de Souza herself is just being used.

A screen capture from today's (19/08/2025) live politics thread on the Guardian web site. Black modern sans serif fonts on a white background, with some red text and lines.

It says:

"Exposure to pornography has increased since the introduction of UK rules to protect the public online, with children as young as six seeing it by accident, research by the children’s commissioner for England has found.

"Dame Rachel de Souza said a survey found that more young people said they had been exposed to pornography before the age of 18 than in 2023, when the Online Safety Act became law.

"More than a quarter (27%) now said they had seen porn online by 11, with some saying they were “aged six or younger” when asked about their first exposure.

"The findings follow on from a similar survey carried out by the children’s commissioner in 2023, and de Souza said they showed that little had improved despite the new law and promises from ministers and tech firms.

"Virtual private networks (VPNs) can allow users to disguise their location online and de Souza has said the government must ensure children are not able to use these tools to avoid the age-check process.

"The government has previously said that while VPNs are legal in the UK for adults, under the Online Safety Act, platforms have a “clear responsibility to prevent children from bypassing safety protections”.

"de Souza told BBC Newsnight:

"'Of course, we need age verification on VPNs - it’s absolutely a loophole that needs closing and that’s one of my major recommendations.

"A government spokesperson said:

"'Let’s be clear: VPNs are legal tools for adults and there are no plans to ban them. But if platforms deliberately push workarounds like VPNs to children, they face tough enforcement and heavy fines. We will not allow corporate interests to come before child safety.'"

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jul 28

This tells you everything you need to know about the 'Online Safety Act'. Keir Starmer and Donald Trump. [Published on a Guardian live thread, 28/07/2025, 14.19 BST]

An excerpt from a Guardian live thread, published on 28/07/2025, at 14.19 BST.

A white background with a combination of standard, bold and italicised sans serif black fonts. At the bottom, a share symbol and link can be see, in red. The time of publication and how long ago it was, relative to the time of screen capture, are featured in smaller grey text.

The excerpt says:

"Starmer says Online Safety Act will not censor Trump's Truth Social social media company

"Q: Are you worried the Online Safety Act is going to censore Truth Social, your social media site?

"Trump jokes that he does not think that is likely.

"Starmer says the act is not about censoring sites. He says the UK is committed to free speech. But children should be protected from things like suicide sites.

"Trump says Congress passed similar legislation, supported by his wife. He goes on:

"I cannot imainge [sic] him censoring Truth Social … I only say good things about him and his country."

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jul 24

Not that I'm suggesting anything here, you understand.

Two red onions on a white background. The one in the foreground has been halved, revealing the many white and purple layers within. Image used under the terms of the CC0 1.0 Universal license. What happens on tour stays on tour.

Alexander Hay@alexanderhay· Jul 21

In somewhat related news, Collective Shout's logo, quite fittingly, resembles an anus.