Alex Monteith

@alexmonteets

He/Him Leukaemia survivor Tottenham Hotspur victim Music fan Free Palestine PFP: A photograph of a smug looking bearded fat prick (me). They're wearing a tobacco colour suit jacket and an open collar white shirt with a cocktail in their hand.

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Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· 24d

I'm going to watch it the way Nolan intended

A menu on a dodgy streaming app. It shows the poster for the new Christopher Nolan version of The Odyssey. Above it are the words "newly added" and in the description it says "CAM" indicating this version was filmed in a cinema

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· 27d

Your mum

Sign under a railway platform that says "slew permitted on this bridge"

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jul 11

Come on England!

Projector screen in a garden with the England Norway game on it. Legs in a reclined chair with a bottle of beer in the foreground

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jul 11

Don't mind it

A projector screen in a garden with a BBQ smoking in the foreground. It's in a posh cunts garden

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jul 9

Nursery had to close early today so there was only one thing for it, ice cream.

Photograph of a 1930s modernist seafront ice cream parlour called Rossi's which remains pretty much unchanged inside and out. It's a flat top single story white building with the name in bright blue letters above an awning which runs the length of the building striped with white and the same blue.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jul 6

Why is James Maddison morphing into Marcus Wareing?

Tottenham Hotspur player James Maddison doing a vox pop to announce the club's new signing, Sandro Tonali.

His head and shoulders are in shot facing the camera and he's wearing a white T-shirt. With a longer hairstyle he's starting to bear an uncanny resemblance to celebrity chef, Marcus Wareing

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jul 2

What the fuck are you playing at James Maddison?

Screenshot of an Instagram story from James Maddison. It's a repost from Matty Cash's Instagram and shows the two of them in a golf cart wearing polo shirts and caps. Maddison is wearing his backwards like a prick.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 24

A hand holding a cardboard sign with a slogan on it.

In black in on a white background it reads: "Our expectations for you were low (underlined) but HOLY FUCK

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 22

I fucking love the World Cup, sorry.

A white haired elderly Argentina fan in the stands during their game against Austria, moments after Messi scored his second goal of the game, the game in which he became the clear all time leading world cup goalscorer.

She is holding a big sign that reads "100 year old Messi fan" and has a face with unbridled joy written all over it.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 21

Hydration break

Ex footballer Stuart Pearce being forced to drink his own piss by Bear Grylls.

He's wearing outdoor gear and drinking his amber coloured urine from a plastic drinking bottle.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 20

Very keen for us to sign a player that sounds like a small town electro-house DJ in 2011

News headline:

Tottenham are firmly in the mix to sign Anderlecht and Belgium midfielder Nathan De Cat, with Manchester United among the 17 year olds other admirers from the Premier League. (Teamtalk)

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 19

My favorite punk album and Poly was the coolest punk by a country mile. #NowPlaying #5DebutAlbumSF1

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 12

This one's down like a lead balloon in the group chat

A reply to a previous message in a Whatsapp group chat.

First message reads: "England winning the world cup would trump everything for me.

The reply reads: "See there's always a little spark deep inside me that doesn't want England to win because English people don't deserve nice things.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 5

I think Andy Robertson is a really good signing.

Norman Rockwell's 'Freedom Of Speech' painting.

It depicts a farmer standing up in a town meeting in America, he's wearing a plaid shirt and a well worn suede jacket with mud stained hands and he has a noticeably darker complexion than the suited men sitting nearby looking up at him. He has a defiant look on his face.

The painting is often used as a meme when stating an opinion that counters a popular belief

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 4

I think this counts, their prior release was an EP? Heavy heavy heavy. Melt your face heavy. #5debutalbums2026

Self-Immolation Music - Strange Worship

Album cover is a white background with the bands name painted in black paint, the letters blur together as the paint drips down and the whole thing is barely legible.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 4

Really fun fuzzy, lo-fi, jangly debut, in the vein of GBV, from last year. #5debutalbums2026

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 4

Has to be in the top 5, not just mine, overall. #5debutalbums2026

Nala Sinephro - Space 1.8

Album cover with a cream background. In the center is a pink oval with a surreal illustration of a black head with rainbow rings around it to mimic Saturn. A small silhouette of a woman is hanging on to the rings. The artist name is in block capitals to the left of the oval and the album title it on the right side in a more cursive text. The album is also written across the whole cover in fine point swirling black lettering

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 4

New nightmare blunt rotation just dropped

Three jabbering dickheads launching a World Cup podcast for the worst people in the world. Simon Jordan, Piers Morgan and John Terry.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 3

Does this (and other first time collabs) count? #5debutalbums2026

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 3

Another that followed up a brilliant debut with one of the albums of the decade shortly after. #5debutalbums2026

John Francis Flynn - I Would Not Live Always

Album cover is a portrait photograph of the artist, with his shoulders and head in shot. He is a man who appears to be in his 30s. He has long sandy brown hair that is tucked behind his ears and falls down way past his shoulders and a short beard. He is wearing a brown jacket over a shirt and has a brown brick wall in the background. He is gazing off camera with a reflective look on his face.

The photo is sepia toned and has some scratches on it that resemble aged film or old photographs.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· Jun 2

Vinted is wild sometimes

A listing on Vinted. It's a red baseball cap with writing on the front. The listing reads: Gary Glitters Gang Show 1990 Cap and it's listed for £21.69.

Worryingly it has been favourited by one person.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 28

I think most of the really beloved British bands of the last 45 years are greatest hits bands without many great LPs between them.

Flynn Rider in Tangled standing leaning against a wall looking unruffled despite having a circle of sword blades pointed towards him. It's a regularly used meme for having a hot take

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 28

Never forgive, never forget.

An old newspaper cutting maybe? It's an overhead photo of a large open air lido on a coastline with a Victorian era seaside town overlooking it. The lido juts out into Behind it there is a road and a large green slope covered in trees and small pockets of fields (we call them cliffs locally), beyond that you can see large houses and hotels.

A dreary grey photograph of a large ugly casino building which is built on the foundations of the old lido and surrounded by the sea.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

Really fucking good emo band. Their follow up 'Hunting Season' is even better. #5debutalbums2026

An illustration in a ink pen linework style that shows a sperm whale caught on power lines with an ominous dark puddle below. There is no sea in sight and it looks like it has landed in a rural area, there is a field below and a tree. The drawing is on an almost fleshy pink background.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

Deeply emotional, euphoric Latin house music. Easily in my top 5. #5debutalbums2026

Sofia Kourtesis - Madres

Album cover is a photo of the artist crouching on rocky ground near the edge of a cliff with the sea in the background. They have their hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and are wearing a black dress which is draped across the floor where she crouches. They are bathed in a red light and face away from the camera looking towards the right hand side of the cover.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

Ambient, jazz, sophisti-pop, not sure how to label it but it's dreamlike and stunning. #5debutalbums2026

Total Blue - Total Blue

Album cover is an eerie image of what appears to be a human face. It has black holes where the eyes, nostrils and mouth would be and is heavily shadowed on one side. The face and neck has a heavy texture on it. The entirety of the image is drenched in a very rich deep blue

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

An album that sounds exactly the same as the cover looks. Moody, brilliant, night time pop music. #5debutalbums2026

Fabiana Palladino - Fabiana Palladino

The album artwork is a heavily stylised, high contrast, photograph of the artist's head and shoulders. She has a sharp angular cropped hairstyle, ghostly white skin with heavy eyeshadow and red lips and she is wearing a black coat with the collar up with a big white shirt collar visible. She has a static, serious look on her face and her eyes are gazing downwards.

The rest of the image is an ombre effect which gets lighter from the top to the bottom starting dark purple and fading to light pink by her shoulders.

The whole thing is very reminiscent of a certain type of 80s aesthetic Moody and cool.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

One of the best and most surprising debuts of the decade, I wouldn't lie to you. #5debutalbums2026

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 27

Blown out of the water by last years incredible follow up, but this is an immense debut. #5debutalbums2026

Horsegirl - Versions of modern Performance

Album artwork is a photo of what appears to be an art gallery with a skylight above the room we can see. It's an old fashioned room with skirting boards and picture rails and wooden doors. The photo has a blue filter. The album title goes right across the image in a handwritten font. There is a red strip from top to bottom on the left hand side and a selection of random coins giving the cover a collage feel. To complete that the bands name is handwritten on a torn out strip of paper.

Alex Monteith@alexmonteets· May 26

Some incredible details but I think this one is my favourite