Mash (@assflapsmcnulty) · DIRTY

Mash

@assflapsmcnulty

Writhing mass of undignified love and suffering. Mistake machine. Regret repository. ...I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore. Worst song, played on ugliest guitar. He/Him. Trans rights. Free Palestine. (pfp by Gav)

1.088 Folgt596 Follower3.194 Posts

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Mash@assflapsmcnulty· 18d

Put this on my tombstone

Two panels from the John Allison comic Solver.

Charlotte grabs her doppelganger by the wrist in panel one, saying "Are you joking? It takes constant effort to mantain a life this ridiculous!"

In panel two she's flung her arms wide and yells "I just don't know how to stop! AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING ELSE!"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· 22d

Apparently Cilla cuck'd Burnham?!

Marie-France van Heel, Andy Burnham's now wife, sat next to Cilla Black on an episode of Blind Date which Andy agreed to her appearing on while they were dating at the time

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· 25d

The fuck am I supposed to do with this?!

A screenshot of an opening message to me from the dating app Hinge which reads; "Sorry not sorry, but you look just like my dad. 🖤🖤"

The screenshot is quoted with the word Fucksakes & reacted by a cry laughing emoji

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jul 11

Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff holding a sign which reads "BYE!"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jul 10

face I'm submitting for my Bluesky verification

Cover from the game The Mystery of the Druids

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jul 10

The Black Country is... unique

A WhatsApp conversation where the first message is a photo of a beer garden where a man in a white fishmonger's jacket is pouring vinegar into a bag of cockles he's just sold out of a wicker basket.
Text reads "Plus the Cockle Mon still comes by with his wicker basket of fish snacks, he's shaking vinegar into a bag of cockles here x"

"Never had a cockle x"

"A small child has literally just yelled COCKLES!!!! YESSSS I LOVE COCKLES!!!"

the reply reads "Ha! X"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jul 8

I hate living in the future, why do I need an app for this?? Also if anyone was planning on murdering me the runtime is 2hrs 40, so about quarter to five should be about right, tia

A WhatsApp message from "Up App" telling me to download their app to access my theatre tickets

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jul 2

Only ever buy from reputable dealers

Small-time crook Arthur Daley from the TV show Minder

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 29

Saw Metallica last night. We're both 40 next year.

A WhatsApp conversation where Friend A asks "how was it lads" to which Friend B (who I was at the gig with) responds "Good man! Played Memory Remains! Smuggled in 20quid of canned wine!" along with a picture of us clinking together two cans of said wine inside the Principality stadium in Cardiff

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 25

Still from The Simpsons of Krusty the Clowns Cayman Islands bank manager fanning himself and saying "ah, it's too hot today"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 22

The Simpsons "I sleep in a racecar bed" meme, with Kirk saying "I spent $1.5k on a Steam Machine" and Homer replying "My Steam Machine is my PC"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 22

Absolutely fucked it

Two alarms set for 05:00 and 05:15, both within four hours time

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 21

Gone well, this

The stats of this post showing it was posted nearly ten and a half hours ago and only has a single like (from Labour MP Kim Leadbeater), one save, and a comment from a cool person implying that they would trash Labour if asked to write about them

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 21

A skeleton holding a gun against a petrol sheen background with the text "I Don't Want a Labour government I Want Revenge"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 16

Made a street friend ☺️

A black & white cat sat on a stone paved driveway

Me fussing the head of same cat

Me *really* fussin' the head of same cat

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 15

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 10

👀

David Lynch wearing headphones & speaking through a megaphone, saying "Okay, let's try that again, but this time good."

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 3

Well, if I wasn't excited about the world cup before...

A slip of paper with the name and flag of New Zealand on it, which I drew in the sweepstake at work

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Jun 1

Child me thought this was delicious, can't lie

A box of Kellogs Multi-Grain Start

A Smart Start for Active People

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 31

Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls (which you should all watch if you haven't and enjoy having a lovely time)

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 24

Tonight's MVP

A standing fan on full in a bedroom

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 23

...there's a reason it's muted

A WhatsApp message from a group chat called BABBBASSSS from a person called Zoe which reads; "6 of us. Booze. Hot tub. Oh yess."

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 12

Devlin Waugh

Vampiric former Vatican Agent Devlin Waugh from the pages of 2,000AD

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 11

😬

Whatsapp message which reads "valuation Tuesday about 11:30"

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 8

Look pal, I treats myself right

A Lidl 50% off sticker for the aforementioned pizza

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 8

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· May 1

Tell you h'what; of all the political flyers I've had through the door this week, it's only been the one from the Greens where the person closed the gate after themselves

A black painted metal gate across a driveway, closed and latched

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Apr 30

Built some rat beasts to avoid screaming and attempting to eat a wall

Three Age of Sigmar Skaven Rat Ogres

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Apr 23

I told a friend about A Predicament.

A WhatsApp chat where someone says to me: "How you doing today? X"

I respond with a screenshot of a speech bubble from the comic book 2000AD which reads "I spend most of my time quietly vacillating between abject terror and repressed hysterics. Other than that I'm quite chipper."

Mash@assflapsmcnulty· Apr 22

Every Commons bar this summer if Starmer gets his way

A roadsign which reads "public fleshlight" which has a fleshlight chained to it, being held up by someone off camera