How's this for #JigglePhysics ?

But really, come fuck me

I was drinking a nice pop from Italy the other day and I got to thinking, these cans actually aren't that small

Hmm. I wonder how long my dms were turned off and how it happened. Anybody else experience this recently? Anyway, here's a pic of my cake

Thighs I have thighs And hands Want me to pull them lower?

I know what that means 😇 Happy Hump Day, pervs!

Quote skeet with a doctor you'd trust leading the hantavirus response instead of RFK Jr

I am known to play with myself from time to time. Maybe you should play with me instead? #MonochomeMonday #dickprints

Happy Hump Day, goobers! Do you think you could leave a handprint that would show through my underwear?

I took a shower the other day. I took a pic afterwards. Happy Monochrome Monday little ones 😘

I don't know where you are, but for me it's still Monochrome Monday. Come grab my little rolls?

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed.

Well, yeah. That's a pretty good estimation

I've really been spending some time with myself lately

Happy Feral Friday, little ones. You wanna pull these down?

I found the pic! Post-game butt for you! I skated hard that game. I was damn tired afterwards I'm gonna go play with myself now. Kthxbye!

If you see this, WE IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you’re using without explanation.

Good morning! Wouldn't you like to wake up next to this?

I heard you like thighs on Thursdays

When you see this, skeet a pic from your gallery to describe your mental health

Good morning!

Good morning! I just came in my beard. That was embarrassing And funny 😂

Yeah, I'd follow you, but you don't follow anybody back. I'd reskeet you, but you didn't follow me, so what do I care? Show me you want my attention. I can do me. Show me how you can do me better. My cashapp is $AugustHedonism

I can't believe that I haven't had any Rolling Stones on my playlist for about 3 years now. I suck. I shall rectify this immediately with Gimme Shelter, Jumping Jack Flash, and Beast of Burden Anyway, don't forget that I've got grey sweatpants

I just got blocked by a "trans person with a camera" They take good photography too, and they have a lot of good takes on life What a dumbfuck Anyway, here's my ass Happy Hump Day!

You wanna do something tonight?

What you doing? Ever consider looking at my wishlist and encouraging me to do something more?

The fuck are these new icons?! WTF do these pics mean? Omg I'm old. Fuck this shit. Get off my lawn! Get in my bedroom, it's upstairs, second door on the right 😡

I mean, this could be on target 🫠

I'm pulling an all-nighter in the shop to hit a deadline. What audio book recommendations do you have?