Spreadsheet goddess

@axolotl232

I lurk, therefore I am. Interests: law, knitting, cats, Eleanor of Aquitaine, books (line item in our family budget), creating complex maximization strategies for mindless computer gaming.

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Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Apr 19

Our family tradition: round bales of hay in a field are excitedly pointed out as "cow spies". As in, cows have disguised themselves as hay in order to surveil the highway.

Classic Far Side cartoon in three panels: Panel 1 is three cows standing in a field on hind legs chatting, with a fourth standing on hind legs at a fence near the road; the fourth is saying "CAR!" Panel 2 is all cows on all four legs, one of them grazing. Panel 3 is all cows once again standing on hind legs.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Apr 19

Movie poster with Elvis Presley for the film "Girls! Girls! Girls!"

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Apr 5

Three people sitting under hair salon dryers - a black woman reading a magazine (wearing stylish red boots and a leopard print blouse), Bruno Mars, and Mark Ronson. The latter two are in hair curlers. All three are wearing those black wrap-gowns that salons provide to protect their clients' clothing; Ronson is wearing wonderful purple socks and is talking on the phone. Mars is in a beatific pose. In the background are those great posters illustrating hairstyles for men and women, flanking a picture of a black cat (possibly a panther), all on paneled walls.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Mar 18

Not nearly as distracting as these trees:

Medieval manuscript illustration of a woman in a brown monastic-type gown harvesting penises from a small tree. Perhaps a commentary on the old joke about women overestimating length, as it seems the basket is too small for the harvest.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Oct 31

There is a white interior door with 95 packages of Reese's peanut butter cups nailed to it. On a table in front of the door is a pumpkin with an image of Martin Luther looking pensive.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Jul 17

Almost everything in that description could be accompanied by a "nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean..."

Monty Python's Eric Idle, wearing a blazer, open-collared shirt, and ascot, talking to Terry Jones, who is dressed as a businessman and having a beer in a pub. The caption reads "Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more." This is part of a skit where Idle's conversational contributions are more and more obvious double entendres.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Jul 16

That Bobson Dugnutt - I'm sure he's a general by now.

List of names from old baseball video game: Sleve Mcdichael, Onson Sweemey, Darryl Archideld, Anatoli Smorin, Glenallen Mixon, Mario Mcrlwain, Raul Chamgerlain, Kevin Nogilny, Tony Smehrik, Bobson Dugnutt, Willie Dustice, Jeromy Gride, Scott Dourque, Shown Furcotte, Dean Wesrey, Mike Truk, Dwigt Rortugal, Tim Sandaele, Karl Dandleton, Mike Sernandez, and Todd Bonzalez.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Jul 11

I've no worries - watching the OG of escapees, in terms of shows broadcast where I saw the originals:

Black-and-white photo of the original cast of Hogan's Heroes (1965-71 tv show): Colonel Klink (Werner Klemperer), Sergeant Schultz (John Banner), Colonel Hogan (Bob Crane), Sgt. Kinchloe, aka Kinch (Ivan Dixon), Corporal LeBeau (Robert Clary), Lieutenant Carter (Larry Hovis), and Corporal Newkirk (Richard Dawson). The men are standing in front of a wooden wall with a poster titled "Verboten" on it, and everyone is looking at Colonel Hogan, who is grinning. The others have expressions of interest (Kinch, LeBeau, Carter, and Newkirk), bemusement (Schultz) and mild amusement (Klink). All are dressed in World War II uniforms or flying jackets.

Spreadsheet goddess@axolotl232· Jun 21

These are the groundhogs that have made their homes around the foundation of my house. They enjoy digging in my planter boxes, which I have written off as unsuccessful experiments in gardening.