Azul Buho

@azulbuho

The pudgy little gumboil of your dreams. (I hear you can make bigots block you just by putting your pronouns in your profile. Mine are he/him.) #AuDHD Sweary and socialist. Class before country. TERFS, SWERFS, EyAy users = blocked Up the #Owls! #SWFC ♾⚧🍉🍞🌹

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Azul Buho@azulbuho· 8d

Thursday, I love you.

A graphic weather summary for the next few days.

Today - sun - 29 degrees C
Tue - sunny spells - 27 degrees C
Wed - sunny spells - 22 degrees C
Thu - sunny spells - 19 degrees C

Azul Buho@azulbuho· 17d

It has rained just south of here. It is going to rain just north of here. I have angered the gods, probably by making a big vat of got-put pasta sauce that is simply too good for the likes of me. #WhatsCooking #HubrisRagu

An unctuous great pot of dark-red got-put deliciousness sauce.
#Recipe ingredients:
- Onion
- Carrot
- Celery
- Garlic
- Red chillies
- Yellow capsicum pepper
- Red lentils
- Broccoli
- Asparagus
- Peas
- Sweetcorn
- Runner beans
- Bacon
- Small fresh British tomatoes (three kinds thereof)
- Passata
- Red wine
- Vermouth
- Basil pesto
- Thyme
- Mint
- Egged milk
- Salt and pepper
- Lime and lemon juice

And that precious ingredient I sprinkle into every special dish... Henderson's Sheffield Relish. (Did you think I was going to say 'love'? Hehe. Bloody hippies.)

Azul Buho@azulbuho· 25d

Call me.

Stacey Solomon, grinning. The subtitle reads: "I might become an edging lady."

Azul Buho@azulbuho· 27d

Wait... which did I restrict and which did I allow? #HireAProofreader

Screengrab from Tidal showing slider on-off controls for 'Explicit content' and 'AI content'. The texts for the sliders say 'Allow or restrict'.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· 27d

I was hoping to save this for the final, but sometimes you have to bring out the big guns. #WC2026 #ARGING #ENGARG

The front cover of the 1982 England World Cup Squad's classic single: 'This Time (We'll Get It Right)'. 22 men in white shirts and socks, blue shorts and red trim stand and sit in rows for a team photo. (To save you checking the record books: Ron's 22 did not, in fact, get it right.)

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jul 9

The woods next to #MyBackGarden. I had to stand up to film this. It's a hard life.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jul 9

I guess there are worse places to sit with a cold beer, waiting for the togga to kick off. #Garden

An English back garden. White hydrangeas on the right. In the middle, grass that is more wilderness than lawn. Some houseplants I really need to bring into the house. On the left, a border being beaten up by Himalayan balsam and Japanese bindweed. Behind that, some woods. (Mostly alder trees, I think.)

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jun 27

I am under attack from this evergreen content.

A cartoon of a sad-looking man cooking food on the hob. The caption reads: "Mark is at home and making some food. He feels upset and inadequate about his handling of the situation."

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jun 21

The #referee industry's continuing Cartesian quest to locate the seat of a footballer's soul has today found evidence to place it in the arse. #FookVAR #FookFIFA #WC2026 #BELIRN #Philosophy #Football

#FIFA #referees attempt to prove they know what offside is by showing a computerised doohickey suggesting an Iran player's bum has infringed the forbidden plane.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jun 20

#Solstice sunset from my north-facing window.

Shot through a window to a peachy-pink sky.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 22

It's the Natalie Portman meme:
1. [Young man says:] I had 3 pints of Stella in the sun for lunch and it cured my Mens Mental Health
2. [Smiling Natalie Portman asks:] In the good way, right?
3. ___
4. [No-longer-smiling Natalie Portman asks:] In the good way, right?

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 20

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?"

The Abominable Snowman from the animated Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer animation (which was supposed to be for children, but look at this thing!), holding tiny Rudolph in its giant paw, clearly just about to bite its little head off with its carnivore teeth.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 20

"Quote with a fictional band that is not Spinal Tap."

The Jingles, from the #CBeebies programme Space Pirates.

(They are three puppet rats; one on drums, one on guitar, and one on keyboard. Two of them are looking around as if hepped up on quaaludes, while the other stares straight at us, wide-eyed and mesmerised.)

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 9

New american high-school slur just dropped. The opposite of a wisenheimer?

A street in London with a soldier statue. Behind it is one of them old black-and-white buildings. Half-timbered? Tudor? Dunno. Anyway, one of the shops in that building is called Assenheims.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 2

Last game of the season at Honolulu Hillsborough! First of a new #SWFC era! Welcome to our guests #WBA. Enjoy the hula party! Here are some #throstles being menaced by a serpent. (And an #owl for us.) - Piroska Szanto - Owl Eyes - JJ Audubon - Ferruginous Thrushes #SHWWBA #Art #Birds #WAWAW #UTO

A crazed owl face stares out of the pitch black with massive eyes. It looks like lack of sleep combined with lots of amphetamines. It is also a pretty good representation of the #Wednesdayites ' state of mind this season.

A thrush nest under attack by a black snake. The adults try to defend their eggs, but one of the birds is dead, and draped over a twig like a Dali watch.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 1

This weekend is the last game in #SheffieldWednesday 's horror season. Next season it's 3rd-tier football for the 4th time since relegation from the Prem in 2000. They'll start on -15 pts. (Coulda been worse. The club nearly went out of business.) Nevertheless, the stadium will be packed. (1/5)

A list of Sheffield Wednesday's last 26 results.
There are:
- 5 yellow D's (for draws)
- 21 red L's (for losses)
- 0 green W's (for wins)

Screenshot of a page from swfc.co.uk, reading:

OWLS V WEST BROM SOLD OUT
It's the season-finale on Saturday at Hillsborough as the Owls host West Brom and the fixture is now a complete sell-out!

The Sheffield Wednesday fanbase will come together and show their incredible support one final time in 2025/26.

Wednesdayites have shown exactly what this club means to them in the most difficult of circumstances all season, and it's no surprise the final game will showcase that level of support in the best way possible.

Owls fans, in Honolulu style(!), have sold out Hillsborough and the lunchtime clash against the Baggies will be one of the biggest Championship attendances of the entire season.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· May 1

Sod your boring ton-plus single-visit frames. Give me long exchanges of safety, punctuated by occasional dashing pots and immediate retreats to baulk. #snooker

A snooker table with 8 red balls gathered by the pocket bottom right of picture - and the black ball closer to the pocket still.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Apr 24

Scientists/can/should etc

A basket of Walkers Sensations crisps. Flavour: Chilli and cocoa. Ambitiously priced at £1.95. And that's B&M prices.

Some bobby-dazzler printed shirts in a shop window. One of them is all dartboards. Strong want.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Apr 5

The Referee-Industrial Complex's continuing Cartesian quest to locate the seat of a footballer's soul has today found evidence to place it in the right shoulder, though the pineal gland still cannot be ruled out. #FuckVAR #WHULEE #FACup #Philosophy #Football

A paused television showing the semi-automated offside-decision system used by nitwit referees in football. It suggests that a bit of a West Ham player is further forward than the Leeds player's right shoulder. I suggest it can fook right off.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Apr 5

My #Easter plans... #beer #chocolate

On a desk are the contents of an Australian box of Cadbury's Favourites. We have (front to back): Crunchie, #CherryRipe, Twirl, Boost, Caramilk, Turkish Delight, Picnic, and Moro.

On a shelf are a selection of beers. At the front are (left to right): Turning Point Caribbean Matter Custard, Jiddler's Tipple Swiss Roll Stout, Vault City Mini Choc Eggs Chocolate Stout, Vault City Chocolate Dipped Strawberries Sour Beer, Brewdog Mackie's Two Scoops Honeycomb Ice Cream Stout, and Chouffe Cherry.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Apr 4

Might take a trip to the Bumble Hole this weekend. #Fnar #Ooer

Look, it's not big, it's not clever, it's just a screengrab of a map featuring the 'Bumble Hole Local Nature Reserve', and I am a very smutty boy.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Mar 29

People asking me for the legal basis of this shunning. I refer them to the precedent set in Azul Buho v Seth Somethings (2024), which established the principle that the one true Seth Something was Seth Armstrong off of Emmerdale Farm.

A picture of the character Seth Armstrong from Emmerdale Farm. He is leaning on a bicycle, wearing country attire (including green corduroy trousers tucked into thick socks). He has his trademark handlebar moustache, and grumpy expression.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Feb 22

TIL there is a USA ice hockey player called Jack Hughes. #WinterOlympics2026

The front page of French newspaper L'Aurore, with the headline:

J'Accuse...!

Lettre au Président de la République
Par Émile Zola

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Feb 8

Matchday! Today's the day #SWFC will score. I can feel it in me kidneys. In honour of our hosts #SwanseaCity, here are some #swans. And an #owl for us. - Sybil Andrews (after) (1898-1992) - Swans - Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890) - Barn owl viewed from the side - 1887 #art #arte #birds #owls #SWASHW

A simple and elegant depiction of four mute swans in flight, travelling from our right to our left. (They might just be taking off. Not sure. Sorry, that doesn't help, does it?) It's not quite a line drawing, but it's not far off. The only detail of plumage we see is slightly curved lines for the prime wing feathers, with green shading where the underwing is in shadow, and yellow where not. Two of the birds are on the downflap, the other two on the upflap. (These are technical terms that I absolutely did not just make up.) The birds' feet are little more than blocks of black, and their heads are simply drawn, in dignified pose, with a tinge of yellow on the beak. There is no background detail - just the magnificent swans.

A monochrome, fairly rough sketch of a barn owl, perched on a branch. We see it from the side, as it is raising its chin slightly to look up. (Do owls have chins? Did I read somewhere that chins are unique to humans? The answers to these - and many other - questions are simply beyond me.) Anyway, headline message - barn owl, bloody brilliant, get in.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jan 31

Matchday! Here's an #owl for us #Owls. For #Wrexham, our visitors from #Wales, here are some #Welsh #coalminers. (Solidarity today between two former coalmining areas, I hope.) - Artist unknown - Owl - Valerie Ganz (1936–2015) - Welsh miners at the coal face #art #arte #SWFC #WxmAFC #SHWWRE #EFL

An #owl, roughly but beautifully depicted, perching on a branch. It has ear tufts, and a slightly startled look on its face, as if it just heard a mysterious noise that needs a good staring at.

Three #miners work at the #coal face, the seam shining where their helmet-lamps are pointing, but dark elsewhere. One #coalminer is poking a long staff into one of three small holes that have been drilled into the wall. Each has what looks like lava streaming out, but I think it's actually wires attached to explosives - so this would be a particularly dangerous moment in an underground #pit life that was never not risky in some way or other. One #miner is looking intently at the poking, while the other is turning to face us. It's a striking image, and but for a few twists in history I could well have been one of these miners myself.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Jan 23

This might be the worst photograph posted on Bluesky today, but I just wanted to record my #FirstCrocus sighting of 2026. Hang on, fellow #SADsters. #Spring is coming. #Winter wanes. We can do this.

At the foot of a tree, against bare brown soil, a few green shoots emerge from the ground. Half a dozen of them are showing the yellow of (as-yet unopened) crocus petals.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Dec 21

Don't stay up til 4am watching the #Seahawks game, I told myself. We always lose to the #Rams, I said. It'll be dull and you'll wish you'd gone to bed early, I reasoned. I should know by now that staying up late is always the cool and clever thing to do.

Screenshot of the scoresheet from the #Seahawks v #Rams #NFL game that finished 38-37 after overtime.

There's too much scoring to write it all out and have it make sense - but is shows #Seattle finished the game with THREE consecutive two-point-conversion touchdowns. The last one after we'd conceded a TD in OT. And also that the Rams could have won it with a late field goal in regular time. But they missed. Oh dear. What a shame.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Dec 20

Do you hear what I hear*? Christmas / Santa / #GracePetrie 's latest CD has come early. *It's literally just arrived so I will hear it soon.

The latest cd from #GracePetrie sits on a windowsill full of sparkly tinselly #ChristmasTrimmings.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Dec 10

A good thing about #peoplewatching in cold weather is that everyone is wearing more clothes, thus giving me more material on which to judge them.

Azul Buho@azulbuho· Dec 1

The #trimmings are up! #MustBeSanta has been played. Must be #christmas! Snowball, anyone?