Beans.Simon

@beanssimon

I'm just a trans dude being me.

71 Folgt236 Follower325 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir beanssimon.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Jan 7

The moon! (I'm jumping on this trend specifically for my friend Will. The photo is terrible, just like you wanted.)

A terrible picture of the moon. That's how you know for sure it's not AI.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Dec 24

Pria is a present.

A black cat sitting under a lit Christmas tree amongst the presents.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Nov 28

I bought a dick candle for some candle magic and today was the last burn. All that's left is this:

A candle holder with the remnants of a red candle on the bottom. In a dried wax puddle sits two balls with a flat circle above it. In the center of the circle is a black wic.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Nov 23

My favorite sign I've ever seen in the wild:

Sign with images from Southern Utah, including the red rocks and a dune buggy and a man biking.

The words say:

How to Poop in the desert
We all do it.
But what's the best way?
Dealing with Your waste is an important part of your Southern Utah Trip. These are the top three options when you have to go
Outhouses
Portable Toilets
Wag Bags

Pack it out
Take portable toilets to dump stations. Take wag bags to waste stations or identified containers in Moab. Don't put Wag bags and trash in outhouses.

Catholes are illegal
In the desert, there's very little water. Buried poop + toilet paper bag down very slowly and contain pathogens which spread disease. You should always plan on packing out your poop and toilet paper.

Poop with a plan.

Canyonlands
(And some illegible words)

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Nov 18

Is KFC still good in other countries? My expectations of KFC at this point are so low that when I get it, I'm always sure that it can't be as bad as I remember. It's always somehow worse. Today's edition: wings. It's so over cooked, there is no finger licking. How do you fuck up *wings*???

A small red box of chicken wings. It's open and the words "it's finger lickin' good" are printed on the front.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Nov 6

So I've never updated my work address on Google Maps. I regularly use Google Maps to check traffic on my way to work, but I had saved my current work as an important place instead of my work. Today I accidentally clicked the work button and uh... I guess I can be at work in 31 hours?

A screenshot of Google maps. A route is plotted from "Your Location" to "Work" and the map has a blue route that cuts across much of the United States, leaving Northern Utah, going through Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas. Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and ending in North Carolina. That route is labeled 1 d 7 hr. An alternative route splits off in Northern Missouri, goes through Illinois, Indiana, before dropping down through Kentucky and Tennessee and ending in North Carolina. That one is labeled 1 d 8 hr. Below the map is the Drive times. By car, it's 31 hr. By train/public transport it's 2 days. By walking it's 31 days. By bike, it is 8 days. The command to avoid tolls is checked. It also said that the total distance is 2,042 miles.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Oct 26

Tonight I was Kenough. (Also, barely recognize myself without my beard. Weird.)

White man wearing pink and otherwise bright colored 80s workout clothes, including a visor and a green fanny pack and arm band. He's standing on one leg and posing as if he were a Ken doll. There's a dog sitting at his feet.

White man wearing pink and otherwise bright colored 80s workout clothes, including a visor and a green fanny pack and arm band. He's sticking his tongue out and has his hands near his ears.

White man wearing pink and otherwise bright colored 80s workout clothes, including a visor and a green fanny pack and arm band. Dog is at his feet

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Oct 11

Anyway, we got a DNA test to find out what he actually is since no one can agree. It really depends on the angle you look at him what he looks like. My best guess is Jack Russell and Pitbull Terrier, but I could be way off. If you have guesses, share them with me before I find out the results

A white dog is laying on a blue and white blanket and is staring off to the side. He has floppy ears with tiny brown spots on him.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Oct 11

But despite how maddingly frustrating he can be, I love him so fucking much. He's helping me live childhood dreams. I'm a better person for owning him. He makes me so so happy. Plus, just look at him!!

A white man wearing a black shirt and glasses lays in a blue and green hammock with a medium sized white dog tucked under the man's arm. The dog appears to be smiling.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Oct 11

Every single day when I come home from work, he insists on giving me a hug first thing. If I don't do it, he barks at me until I do. He also really likes cuddles. Most of the time I say "Papa Loves Astro" he does this:

A white man wearing a green hoodie and glasses smiles as a white dog places his head against the man's neck and cheek.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Oct 11

I wrote this whole thing last night as a quote skeet of someone about how we need more happy things in our lives, so they started a thread of animal pictures and stories and then my app crashed and I lost it. The concept is this though: meet Astro.

A medium sized white dog sitting outside on a sunny day and smiling at the camera. The dog is a mutt and you can't really tell what breed he is. He's wearing a maroon harness and attached to a leash. The legs of a white man wearing flip flops are seen at the top of the photo.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Sep 5

What even is this timeline???? (This is just a screenshot, so you can't click it for the information, but it's basically exactly what the headline says.)

Screenshot of a news article headline and image from The Hill. Headline says: White House UFC event set for June, weigh-ins at Lincoln Memorial. Image is Trump talking to a bald white man with a crowd behind them and a chain link fence in front of them.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Aug 29

For me, the most impactful part of transitioning so far has been getting top surgery. It changed how I exist in the world in a way that I don't even have words to explain. I went from being misgendered regularly to passing. But most importantly, I feel much more comfortable in my own skin.

Words: 2 years since top surgery! 8/29/23 8/29/25
Image 1: picture of a Caucasian man in a hospital bed and hospital gown holding a Styrofoam cup with a straw. There's a hint of bandages sticking above the hospital gown.
Image 2: the same Caucasian man with slight stubble and a sweater that makes it clear he has a flat chest

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Jul 13

My gf @callmezoe.bsky.social made this amazing dinner tonight! I got the chance to assist in the magic and boy is it delicious. Italian sausage with roasted peppers and onions and a home made low carb "macaroni" and cheese.

Sausages and roasted onions and peppers on a pan with tongs.

Ruffle Pastability noodles covered with a cheese sauce in a pan on the stove.

An talian sausage on a bun with Dijon mustard on a plate next to ruffle pasta covered in a cheese sauce and roasted peppers and onions. A fork and cup with an orange liquid are also on the table

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Jun 22

We went on a campout and Astro went to the sitter's. I think he's more exhausted than I am.

White dog sleeping on his side on a pile of blankets

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Jun 13

Testosterone has been good to me.

Image of Simon, a white man with glasses and brown hair and the hint of a beard.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· May 30

Hanging out outside with the dog and gf. It's a good day.

The head of a Caucasian man pokes out from under a white dog. Both man and dog are laying in a hammock.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· May 26

Yesterday we went to the local Ren Fest. Definitely a fun adventure, but it's one where I should have worn sun screen and did not. I'm crispy today.

White Man with glasses wearing mock Viking armor.

White Man with glasses wearing mock Viking arbor next to taller woman with pink hair and wearing fairy dress and some armor.

Two white men with mock Viking armor during next to woman with pink hair and fairy dress

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· May 23

This is what happens when I try and take a selfie with my dog.

A medium sized white dog is sticking it's tongue out and shoving his head into the face of his owner, a white man with glasses.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Mar 31

I regularly think I shouldn't have kids if my dog stresses me out so much. But today the dog trainer at PetSmart confirmed that we have an extra bouncy/over stimulated little guy. So maybe I still shouldn't have kids, but at least I'm not crazy that my dog can be *a lot*. He's also fucking adorable.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Mar 16

Today's daily reminder that in this political hellscape, find joy where you can. I'm finding it tonight at a Queer Comedy Pageant with my partner, Zöe. Giant progressive flag hanging outside in Downtown SLC. I love that for us.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Mar 14

Here's my dog because we need more cute things on the timeline.

A white terrier mix dog sitting on a couch with a messy background.

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Mar 11

Astro is extra cuddly lately.

A between haired trans man wearing a shirt that says human kind in rainbow colors cuddling a white dog

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Feb 10

Okay. But this mashup:

Beans.Simon@beanssimon· Jan 13

Bluesky, meet Astro. He's my sleepy buddy right now. He loves other dogs the most and thinks he wants to be friends with cats but he scares cats so... Once you know him, he loves people too, but he takes a minute to warm up.