Them, “are you stooopid?” Me:

AHHHHH! 3 new shoots from my zz plant!! Literally screamed when I saw it this morning. 🌱🌱 #plants #GayPlantDad #gay 🌱🌱

“Though we didn’t agree on everything…” Shut up. Just say nothing. There’s no law saying you have to say anything. You can just go on as if it’s a regular day.

*crosses fingers* mutters: Guest DJ. Guest DJ. Guest DJ. Guest DJ. Guest DJ.

Add some ruff around it and he’ll be a real ROYAL.

She’d be so proud

If @braaaf.bsky.social doesn’t use this for DJing for Americas borfday today then they’re not a real patriot of FREEDUM.

Clearly they’re mad they didn’t win the flopsky awards. Maybe next year ya pathetic losers. Lol

Coincidence that when @iamtkp.bsky.social announces the Flopsky awards that all the photos used are blank BUT @braaaf.bsky.social’s stuff appears just fine? I am calling for an INVESTIGATION.

Oh boy

Felt super cute.

FUCK YEA. WOKE PICKLES.

Boo, @npr.org

mOnEY iS spEeCH - SCOTUS

Pack it up

What kind of person sends an email requesting things at 6:30am on a Friday and then sets their auto reply to say they won’t be back till Monday? And who was on the receiving end of such chicanery? Me.

FINE

Don’t forget your meds!

Tell it to the JURY.

I’ve never seen one of those so I can’t verify.

Not as funny as ur FACE!!

at the reflecting pool and guys this doesn't look right

I got dressed up for NOTHING???

Cat with Anime blush

I’m drunk and I’m drinking some water with lime juice while watching Murder She Wrote.