Ben Zelevansky (@benzelevansky) · DIRTY

Ben Zelevansky

@benzelevansky

Actor / Writer / 6x Winner, Milt and Edie's Dry Cleaners Photo Caption Contest Managing Editor, Deathbed

318 Folgt412 Follower1.436 Posts

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir benzelevansky.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· 10d

My new short horror story SELF STORAGE is now available at deathbed.ghost.io/self-storage/, as is this breathtakingly unsettling illustration by Peader Thomas! #HorrorStories #ComedyWriters #NoAI

Hand drawn illustration of a self storage facility at night. A long shadow approaches the clerk at the window.

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· 13d

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· 14d

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· 16d

Connor from Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping in the midst of his ill-fated costume change stunt

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· 16d

If you haven’t yet, now would be a great time to subscribe (for free!) to Deathbed: subscribe.deathbedwriting.com

A promotional image for a Deathbed horror story by Ben Zelevansky that publishes on Monday.

The title, “Self Storage,” is superimposed over an image of a padlocked storage unit door. The tagline reads “True friends keep secrets.”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jul 7

I didn’t believe it either, but apparently there are pictures

Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings whispering in King Théoden’s ear

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jul 7

Never heard the president described this way before, but I can’t argue with it

Screen grab of a New Republic story with a subhead that reads “The health secretary will have to contend with a growing diarrhea parasite”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jul 6

I feel the same way, but it’s the most important meal of the day 🤷🏻

A box of Kashi “Good Friends” cereal

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jul 1

This guy really gets paid to talk about professional basketball, good grief

Screencap of noted ding dong Aaron J Fentress approving of the idea of the Blazers signing the comedically injury-prone Jarred Vanderbilt

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jun 28

Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad throwing back his head in anguish and crying out “How is he so good at this?!?”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jun 7

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jun 4

The NHL had a fun version of this for many years

Brian Gionta and Zdeno Chara displaying their comical height differential

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· May 26

The Cleveland Cavaliers are not a serious basketball team

Logan Roy excoriating his children on Succession

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· May 1

Tell me again how the super-intelligent robots are ready to replace us all

Spell check failing to recognize “unforatunely” as “unfortunately”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Apr 23

Tom Dundon hitting up Lardo at Moda tomorrow night:

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Apr 21

Steve Landesberg as Detective Sergeant Arthur Dietrich on Barney Miller

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Apr 2

Trusted TV personality Kent Brockman from The Simpsons volunteering to help giant ants from space round up humans to toil in their underground sugar caves

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 26

👑👑👑

Screencap of an excerpt from Gene Shalit’s Wikipedia page that reads “Shalit announced that he would leave The Today Show after 40 years, effective November 11, 2010. He was quoted as saying ‘It's enough already,’ about his retirement.”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 24

@trailblazers.bsky.social New reaction meme just dropped

Matisse Thybulle giving a disdainful thumbs down as Blake Wesley looks on

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 22

Screengrab from AAA.com showing Los Angeles-Long Beach current average gas prices of $5.798 for Regular, $6.002 for Mid and $6.178 for Premium - each at least a dollar higher than a month ago

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 11

An ad for Manus, Meta’s latest AI nonsense. The tagline is “Supercharge your business with Manus”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 6

Moe from The Simpsons blaming his problems on “immigants”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 4

Meme featuring an orc from Lord of the Rings saying “Looks like fraud waste and abuse is back on the menu, boys!”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 4

Ben Affleck yelling “You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Kennedy, and I won't have it!”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Mar 1

I bet Donald Trump wouldn’t be so cavalier if it was HIS children he was sending off to war, okay maybe that’s a bad example

Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump looking like a couple of space mutants trying to blend into the human race

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Feb 25

Screencap from The Simpsons of a giant banner that reads:

WELCOME FINALISTS
Reading Digest
"BREVITY IS... WIT"

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Feb 24

SNL Weekend Update anchor Norm MacDonald sits at the news desk in front of a graphic showing the cover of a magazine called “Duh”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jan 30

Homer Simpson confronting mobster Fat Tony and asking him “You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return?”

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jan 30

Found my guy’s hat

A vintage sign for Arby’s in the shape of a giant cowboy hat

Ben Zelevansky@benzelevansky· Jan 25

It’s been getting mixed reviews from the critics here in LA

A bus stop ad for the Melania Trump documentary with the graffiti “is a c*nt” scrawled under the First Lady’s name