I’ve taken over the garden (and now kitchen) of a friend & am halfway to fulfilling my dream of just being a gardener who cooks for a family. We tossed a bunch of veggies from the garden into the crockpot & they asked, “wait are we making a soup or a sauce?” Me: “Any sauce is a soup if it’s good.”

The court paperwork has a version of Clippy that I’ve just been calling “the divorce meatball.”

Got the papers to sign yesterday and did my first tarot pull in a long while. Ouch. #tarot #iykyk This was the first card:

A soldier returning from the horrors of war befriends a rag-tag group of misfits and finds an unexpected adversary in the gaming community.

Trying to figure out how I got a dog that won’t eat French fries and 2 entire cats that don’t give a fuck about a huge box or me changing the sheets. What god have I displeased. #cats #catsareassholes

For Christ’s sake, tomorrow’s the Fourth of July! Crazy someone made a film about people in power not listening to experts because of capitalism and then it spawned a whole genre of film because the monster didn’t work. Anyway, #Jaws is a perfect film.

I don’t have the photos to prove it, because I was in the tub with the dog at the time, but both of her cat brothers sat by and checked in on her throughout the long overdue bath:

I’m having problems with my pumpkins. I’ve consulted the internet- useless. Called 4 different nurseries- 4 different opinions. Talked to my other gardening friends - all different opinions. Decided to finally look at one of my gardening books from 1978!! This is why I have books!! The Book:

Who remembers thia

I’m seeing a lot of posts about scaffolding so I’m gonna repeat myself and share my favorite Seamus Heaney poem, Scaffolding.

I have built my #cats the temple that I would want to live in, as a cat. This is Sauce, on three of his 25 levels of leisure. God, he’s an asshole. Fuckin cats

We are so cooked.

Love that our new car has this pop up *WHILE I AM DRIVING.* Bitch, I was driving and not distracted until you put up a thing that said not to get distracted by the thing you put up the notice on not to get distracted by…. I hate everything.

Sauce is obsessed with my dog. #CaturDogDay

Despite my BS management company saying they were gonna dig up all my plants, I still got a strawberry harvest today. At least 4 varieties from a patch I planted over 10 years ago.

I lost my debit card right before going on vacation and planned to cancel my Paramount membership after Colbert’s last show. Just checked my email and looks like my ADHD saved me a step! Suck it, CBS.

How it started

In a real dick move, for my birthday Pardner got me an original issue of The Weekly World News from 1991. Now I can’t be mad at them for like… a month. Also… time is a flat circle.

I love the warning graphics at the coast. There was like a whole committee that decided on this image and they all agreed “yeah we should make the victim look like a creep.” Like you kinda think the wave is doing the lord’s work.

The other day my pardner asked me to come home early because they could not find The Cat They Did Not Want. I asked if they had checked the closet. The cat in the closet: #cats

Thanks for reminding me that my impulsive late-night purchase of a large hardcover collection of his complete works was not a waste. This is one of my faves:

I just put aviator glasses and a stethoscope on my (inherited) mule deer and pardner and I spent almost an hour crafting the joke to go along with the picture. Nothing like competition.

My Beltane Wreath! Gonna bring this full moon in like Bugs Bunny. (Smarter than my opponent and better looking,ya?)

The Portland street equivalent of leaving cookies out for Santa. (2 hours later, the cheese is gone but the roach remains.)

I love my little girl. We live in an apartment so she doesn’t have acccess to a yard, and whenever we go outside she just plops in the grass and I have to remind her that we actually need to do the walk thing. Here she is living her best life in my friend’s yard. Just being outside in the grass.

I contemplated sending my impulse thrift books purchase back but decided to break the seal. Here we go.

I finally finished the fucker I started on 7/31. We begin again. Didn’t knowthat the journal I’ve finished for the last 3 was named in German for “lighthouse” & “thinkng through the

#artemis When I was a kid, my dad’s friend gave me a metal globe of the moon made by NASA. I loved it. When my parents moved out from my childhood home, I had 2 boxes. One was supposed to go to goodwill, the other to their new house. Dad took the wrong box to goodwill. 1/