Captain Awkward
@captainawkward
Advice blogger, soon-to-be-author. You may remember me as CAwkward on that other site, but I have reclaimed my full title and powers! Here to make new internets to push the bad internets down.
My middle finger was so lonely until I checked the mail. Thanks, @peculiarityshop.bsky.social!
I wrote “Go Morocco” in the special requests and this is what we got in return.
My friends, this entire experience was Peak My Dad. He received a gift, and his first instinct was to share Some Correct Facts About Trains, followed by this little gem. I get to see him in October and I *cannot* wait.
It’s Sunday and I stayed out way past my bedtime last night. Experience suggests that a Chicken Madness from Wisemiller’s would fix me, but 37 hrs round trip would break me again.
Next time you’ll know. Can this be the last word please? Rather not have to mute.
O hai can I jam my snout into your bellybutton while you’re sleeping and take a lil’ nibble
Key to the city, free pizza for life, and hang their portrait in the pantheon of local heroes.
I went to find him so I could block him on principle and behold! He is a general purpose asshole.
This is a cat checkpoint: show the most recent cat photo on your phone. *BOOP* you’re it
They have a roasted salsa verde that’s not super spicy & is my favorite thing to put on eggs/breakfast tacos/migas.
Happy almost birthday. I hope you are getting time to rest and catch up on self-care (like going to the dentist, and also spending time with people who delight you). Give Heater our neighborly hisses & bite-licks.
If Daniel Jason Mendoza Striped Tiger were capable of holding onto a sentence-long thought, he would approve this message.
If Daniel stays perfectly still & keeps his eyes closed maybe the vet cannot see him
Jacqui we found 2 more hidden in the bags, it was honestly the best day ever. Cut with regular coffee (because too sweet) it took us almost a month to drink them. What gifts will today bring?
It’s been 14 years since my last-ever first date. Thanks for making it so I never had to learn about Tinder, @jeremydnichols.bsky.social!
She is my favorite. I want better for her than a large adult son who thinks she should uproot her child & leave her beautiful house for a filthy bathroom near the bars.