Charlie Connelly

@charlieconnelly

Stage haunter, writer, Addick in Dundee. Attention All Shipping live show coming to a theatre near you as long as you're near a theatre where it's on.

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Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 18d

What’s your sign?

If you think you’re too small to make a different try sleeping with a mosquito!

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 19d

WC Fields in top hat, fancy coat, cane and huge sunflower in buttonhole.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 21d

So we live in a world where this is headline news instead of, you know, normal.

“Burnham says he is prepared to call out Trump ‘if right for Britain’.”

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 26d

US poet B.H. Fairchild on the power of poetry.

FAIRCHILD: It’s supposed to be more than rich, it’s supposed to transform you. Here’s one way that I try to make this really elusive point—in other words, you’ve asked the question. You’ll go out into the world and you’ll have some really incredibly exciting experience. Maybe you’ve been in a car wreck or maybe you went to Vegas and you lost $50,000 in one evening or whatever it was, or maybe you won $50,000. And you come back to your house or apartment and immediately you’re overcome with the need to tell somebody this. Of course you will be telling them about it, though. So you’ll rush into the house and you’ll sit them down and you’ll say, “The most exciting thing happened to me,” and you’ll begin telling them about it, and pretty soon their eyes will begin to glaze over and then one of you will say, “Well, I guess you need to have been there.”

FOX: Ah.

FAIRCHILD: Poetry is the being there. That’s about as abbreviated as I can make that.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 27d

Hydration break.

Margaret Rutherford pours herself a glass of wine in ‘The Mouse That Roared’.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· 27d

Another ripped referee tonight. What would Roger Kirkpatrick have made of it all?

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Jul 17

Book written, world saved again.

Screenshot showing summary of document, "Page 1 of 247, 112117 words"

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· May 1

Attention All Shipping autumn tour dates just announced, dandies. Tickets via www.shippingshow.co.uk/tour. See you out there!

Charlie Connelly's Attention All Shipping - Autumn tour 2026

10 Sept DISS The Corn Hall
11 Sept CRANLEIGH Cranleigh Arts
12 Sept BORDON Phoenix Arts
14 Sept WESTON-SUPER-MARE Blakehay Theatre
19 Sept INVERNESS Eden Court
23 Sept KIDDERMINSTER Town Hall
24 Sept BISHOP’S STORTFORD South Mill Arts
28 Sept BARNARD CASTLE The Witham
29 Sept SCARBOROUGH Stephen Joseph Theatre
30 Sept HALIFAX Victoria Theatre
1 Oct BARTON-ON-HUMBER The Ropewalk
2 Oct WALSALL Arena
3 Oct WHITEHAVEN Rosehill Theatre
6 Oct ALDEBURGH Jubilee Hall
7 Oct EAST GRINSTEAD Chequer Mead Theatre
9 Oct CHESTER Storyhouse
11 Oct BEVERLEY Parkway Cinema
13 Oct TONBRIDGE EM Forster Theatre
15 Oct SEATON Gateway Theatre
16 Oct MAESTEG Town Hall
17 Oct NEWPORT IOW Quay Arts

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Apr 7

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Apr 4

That’s quite the aside in this LRB piece about Flannery O’Connor.

In 1939, when she was fourteen and living in a suburb of Atlanta, Victor Fleming's film version of Gone with the Wind received its world première at Loew's Grand Theatre - an occasion that was by some distance the most glamorous in the city's history. The cinema was whites-only, meaning that Hattie McDaniel, whose performance would make her the first African American to win an Oscar, wasn't invited, but Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh were, and around 300,000 people lined the streets to catch a glimpse of them. The crowd was entertained by a choir of Black children dressed as slaves, among them the ten-year-old Martin Luther King.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 31

If you see this drop a hero with a sword.

Margaret Rutherford tooled up in 'Murder Ahoy'.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 27

For #worldtheatreday I shall be promenading wearing my badge tribute to sock and buskin.

The Ancient Greek comedy and tragedy masks that symbolise theatre as sock and buskin.

Badge on left - Bernard Bresslaw smiling. On right - Bernard Bresslaw alarmed.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 22

Dundee looking fine in the spring sunshine.

Sunny day with a rake of daffodils in the foreground; bandstand and the Tay in the background.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 22

The End and the Beginning by Wislawa Szymborska, trans. Joanna Trzeciak.

The End and the Beginning

Atter every war
someone has to clean up.
Things won't
straighten themselves up, after all.
Someone has to push the rubble to the side of the road, so the corpse-filled wagons can pass.
Someone has to get mired in scum and ashes, sofa springs, splintered glass, and bloody rags.
Someone has to drag in a girder to prop up a wall.
Someone has to glaze a window, rehang a door.
Photogenic it's not, and takes years.
All the cameras have left for another war.

We'll need the bridges back, and new railway stations.
Sleeves will go ragged from rolling them up.
Someone, broom in hand, still recalls the way it was.
Someone else listens
and nods with unsevered head.
But already there are those nearby starting to mill about who will find it dull.
From out of the bushes
sometimes someone still unearths rusted-out arguments
and carries them to the garbage pile.

Those who knew
what was going on here must make way for those who know little.
And less than little.
And finally as little as nothing.
In the grass that has overgrown causes and effects,
someone must be stretched out blade of grass in his mouth gazing at the clouds.

Wistawa Szymborska, trans. by
Joanna Trzeciak

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 21

Some opening paragraph to Joanna Biggs’ review of the On The Calculation of Volume series in the LRB.

TIME IS FAKE, and it is the realest thing there is. You can't avoid the evidence, even if you aren't looking: only four days in a year are 24 hours long; before the industrial revolution the weekend lasted until Tuesday; the day your mother dies is not the same length as the day you do your taxes. We have created seasons and years, adolescence and senescence, stories that take their meaning from their end-ings. And we know that our deaths will be an end to it all: no more weekends, no more taxes, no more history, mothers, seconds and hours.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 19

Celebrity dinner party. You can invite two people.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 11

Decent view from tonight’s dressing room at Whitby Pavilion.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 11

It really does.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 10

I love that the church in Whitby needs to display this sign.

Please do not ask staff where Dracula’s grave is as there isn’t one. Thank you.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 7

Handful of tickets left for the Royal Spa Centre in Leamington tonight if you’re nearby and looking for top quality shipping forecast entertainment…

Attention All Shipping poster on a wall at the Royal Spa Centre.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 6

One of the best nights of the 80-plus shows I’ve done so far last night at the Queens Hall in Hexham. What a smashing audience. Great to finally catch up with @camsell59.bsky.social too.

Me looking suspicious in front of a screen onto which a picture of my own massive stupid face is projected

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 3

Blackpool sunset earlier tonight.

Sun setting over the sea at Blackpool beach.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Mar 3

Whe-hey I’m in PARIS!

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 26

I only got into this business because I thought every dressing room would have a chaise-longue. More than 80 shows in and IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED.

Me lounging on a chaise longue, holding a banana and gazing thoughtfully into the distance.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 26

The terrifying truth is that the shipping forecast was always about controlling our daily lives. Allister Heath, The Telegraph

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 24

Finally the double act the world has been crying out for.

Poster for my show Attention All Shipping featuring my big daft face next to a poster for An Evening With Denise van Outen with her looking far more glamorous.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 22

Kenneth Williams was born 100 years ago today, bless 'im. Here's how he began his diary for 1951, shipping forecast fans.

1951 NOTES Financail capital amounts to about £25 in Midland Bank and £18 in post office. Outlook in the next few days: - A deep depression moving in a Piscerly direction. Rockall, Malin and Finisterre, fog patches, sleet, rain ... oh dear.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 19

Prince Philip looking startled in a car.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 19

All set at Dorchester Corn Exchange for another sold out show tonight for your number one favourite shipping forecast hoofer.

Pic from back row of venue across the seats towards the stage.

Charlie Connelly@charlieconnelly· Feb 19

‘An American Werewolf in London’ including a full version of ‘See You Next Wednesday’.