Feel better? It's the best we can do

As a publisher, we use our billions of dollars in profits to continuously update our products. It's how we stay up-to-date and on the cutting edge of technology and the zeitgeist. That's why we always ask people for their beeper and fax numbers.

Hey girl, I saw you across the room. I just wanna say that I'm really worried about the viability of being a human in the future and it's unclear if there will be breathable air or not. But you seem cool. We should order mozzarella sticks.

When I adjust the y-axis to make my study look awesome

Every year, there's a new set of awful supreme court decisions. Every year, I get to repost the time that the local news thought I was a student and asked for my commentary

I went through 4 personality handbooks and asked 2600 people how important it is to study each topic listed (from 1 to 5). All were rated above the midpoint (yay!), but mental health/psychopathology, genetics/heritability/neurology, emotion regulation/happiness, and change/identity stood out.

Thinking about wearing this at my next university and just pretending it's normal

You're all so good at bringing me sour punch bites and caffeine. I appreciate how good you are at helping. Thanks for always saying yes to my review requests.

Well, I just have to sit down and tackle this revision. Reviewers are always so helpful. Let's see Reviewer 2's first comment