Jas Brown

@cinderscoria

Jas! | she/they | author, ttrpg player | bpd | "fix your hearts or die"

248 Folgt559 Follower2.251 Posts

Bluesky

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Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir cinderscoria.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jul 8

insane pull bc my job just sent me a bouquet for my grandfather’s death literally twenty minutes ago jes are you psychic

close up of a bouquet of white flowers, including roses and lilies

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Mar 16

what the fuck is this.

picture of the front yard of Jas’s apartment building covered in snow

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Mar 9

the “press X for doubt” meme of a video game character with a questioning expression—a white man in a suit and tie and fedora (?) next to a blue X button and the word “Doubt”

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Mar 8

my cat has decided to be a lap cat once again

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 28

yall wanna hear a poem

text:

“what came first, the worry or
the flurries of snow spiraling
through the alleyway? you’re so far from home,
windswept,
dreams kept quiet in the pulse against your ribs
in between wants to sleep forever and go somewhere
else,
become something worthy of taking up space
stuck here in limbo,
half dead and half awake
waiting for the ever-patient apocalypse
to take the decision from your hands

it is easy to cut others when you’re broken
hurt people hurt people
I prick my palms bloody
gathering my pieces to me
but it’s still my fault if they leave.
I am stepping through life
on treacherous tiles, so careful you’d think
one of us must be made of glass.
i am eight years old in every conversation,
too small to not need help, too doubtful
to believe it exists

“how are you doing jas” i no longer know
who knows me best, my sins or my tragedies
or the image of who i was supposed to be,
haunting me in the mirrors that linger
in the corner of my eye.”

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 28

i don’t have any physical paints with me rn but. yeah. gotta do something when i am this sad

a painting done in procreate of a silhouette of three pine trees stretching up towards a dark blue sky that could be evening or could be dawn. the feeling is haunting or melancholy

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 26

first poem of 2026

text:

“It’s new but it’s not new. it’s new in that
it’s the most recent thing i remember,
the most present on my mind
but not new in that I’ve been saying
“anger is new for me” for at least five years now
it’s new in that i still shift in discomfort when it
crashes over me,
rises from within my depths like some kind of kraken,
and not new in the way of old gods forgotten by the passing of time,
fingers gnarled and faces obscured by gray mists
it’s new in that i still don’t know what to do with it
sitting boiling, bubbling in my palms, just like me in its
inability to be held and how loud and bright
it can get in the wake of the vacuum of apathy
and not new in that my skin has blistered
seven times over,
‘cause i haven’t found a place to set it down
where it can’t hurt anyone
it’s new but it’s not new, over and over
the cycle of rage that happens when
anger can be violent either to you or to others,
choose wisely,
you have to be a good person.”

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 21

I was writing a Love in the Air (my favorite Thai BL) fic about Sky’s dissociation worsening after the finale despite him being Safe Now and I can only poke at it every once in a while bc it’s SO personal. I draw from my own dissociation disorder and sometimes staring at it in the face is. scary

text:

Sky feels like a ghost haunting his own life. He floats through the hallways of his school, nodding to classmates, jotting down notes, eating lunch with Rain—but his mind is empty. He speaks, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He eats, but everything tastes like air. He sleeps, but isn’t sure he ever wakes up. The sticky, slow, heavy feeling that happens just after he opens his eyes in the morning never dissipates. Instead, it clings to him, tinging every waking moment with the question: (i)am I still dreaming?(/i)

It’s not like he means to stop talking. He just forgets to contribute when people are talking around him. Then he forgets to acknowledge statements said directly to him. Then he forgets to answer when someone asks him a question. It goes like that.

His memory is fog and abyss and the color red. It’s been months since his run-in with Gun—no, it happened yesterday. He’d had a project due today and only remembers the model in his hands, complete but completely foreign to him.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 19

I feel better now

photo of an acrylics painting done by Jas. the portrait is of a brown-skinned woman with brown eyes and brown curly hair that is swept mostly to the left side of her head and spills over her left shoulder. she is wearing a blue dress and is outlined with a yellow glow, like a halo. there is no background. the woman’s expression is stern, almost like she is scrutinizing the viewer.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Feb 8

this was supposed to be a road

an acrylic painting done by Jas of an angled bird’s eye view of a river cutting through a forest. the colors used are greens and blues. Two black birds fly over the river. The emotion of the piece is melancholy, maybe homesickness—the river and forest disappear into the fog in the distance, as if going somewhere the viewer can’t follow.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 26

:(( I hope you feel better soon here’s an Opal

photo of Jas’s cat Opal, a chubby calico that is white with orange and black patches, loafing on a blanket. her eyes are squeezed shut with contentment—she even has a tiny smile.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 23

HELP

screenshot of the weather app for Chicago that reads the temperature as -6, the “feels likely as -23, the high as 8, and the low as -7 (all in Fahrenheit)

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 22

it’s break time! I drew my son (nonbinary)

a digital sketch of Jas’s character, Koda, done in green pencil. they’re a masculine-presenting nonbinary teenager with locs in a short, messy wolf cut, with wide, tired eyes and a small frown on their face. they’re wearing a green hoodie and looking up at someone with a pensive expression. their name, “Kods,” is spelled out in pencil.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 21

hello fresh attempt #2 not very pretty, but more successful than the first attempt lmao. delicious too which is what matters :P

photo of a singular lettuce wrap with ground pork, lettuce, cabbage, bok choy on a sad little paper plate

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 19

winter shade 😩

a photo of Jas, a Blasian feminine-presenting nonbinary person with brown skin, black glasses, and box braids that go from black to ombré silver. they’re looking off to one side so the golden hour light can hit their skin in a way that makes it almost glow. they’re wearing a beige capelet as well as a silver band bracelet and earrings shaped like leaves.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 14

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

photo of Charli Ramsey, AKA Hawkeye, an archer-themed Marvel superhero. their costume consists of the signature purple, blue, and black of Hawkeye’s original colors, with an Indigenous American touch—white moccasins, white feathers in their hair, and a white hawk (?) painted on the shoulders. Their skin is brown and their hair is black, shaved at the sides and in an undercut, while the top of it is braided all the way down their back. They wear a purple eye mask and are posed to shoot an arrow while leaves swirl in the background.

Emotion read: very cool, sick as hell, etc etc

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 14

great.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 14

yeah I really wish I was joking

photo of Jas’s kitchen: most notably the sink, which is overflowing, and a beach towel underneath fruitlessly trying to spare their floor from the dirty water

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 8

save checkpoint. world’s a mess rn. have a cat.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Jan 2

well I’ve been afraid of changing, ‘cause I built my life around you

drawn picture of two characters:

1. Lucky, a blonde, fair skinned teenage boy with freckles and curly blonde hair. he is smiling faintly off to one side
2. Jasmine, OP’s self insert character, a girl with brown skin and long, straight dark hair pulled into a braid and hanging over one shoulder, and red glasses. she is looking over her shoulder at Lucky with a conflicted, almost unhappy expression.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Dec 31

going back to my roots (drawing Lucky Freeman in my sketchbooks)

a picture of a traditionally drawn portrait of a teenage boy. he has curly blonde hair and freckles and is gazing upwards with a faint smile. the sketch is left unfinished, giving a kind of bereft and melancholy feel to the piece.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Dec 14

I started flaring last night and was wondering why and— yeah. yeah, okay.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Dec 13

we are LIVE, beautiful people! and we are GONNA DIE !! come meet (and root for?) my Southern belle Dr. Aisha Claire!

a picrew from makowka: a light-skinned woman with a mane of brown curls, glasses, and a lab coat. she has a pinched expression on her face

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Dec 10

I paint now

photo of a traditional painting done in acrylics. it depicts a sunset on a hill and two trees silhouetted by the sky. the colors are vibrant yellow and orange, a teal sky, and dark green trees and hill.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Dec 6

THIS !!!

text:

If you are Gilgamesh and did those things, why
Are you so emaciated and your face half-crazed?

I have grieved! Is it so impossible
To believe? he pleaded.
My friend who went through everything with me
Is dead!

No one grieves that much, she said.
Your friend is gone. Forget him.
No one remembers him. He is dead.

Enkidu. Enkidu. Gilgamesh called out:
Help me. They do not know you
As I know you.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Nov 28

yall wanna hear a poem

text:

the woods are only
ever still
in the pre-dawn or the snow. there are
no birds
and no song, no mourning wolves
to sunder
the silence of the woods
when night turns
midnight to gray.
in the snow,
the frozen stream
trickles on beside
paw prints on the banks
trees quiet save for the cracking of ice
and chimes in the breeze.

i am still
here, in the hours before the dawn
still here, in the bright winter snow, still
listening to how loud
the world can be
when i am not speaking.

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Oct 31

I’ve started painting again

photo of a painting done by Jas: a dark forest lit by fireflies. the painting was down in acrylics with metallic paint, so it shimmers when the light hits it

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Oct 30

I feel bad for white asians bc wym the name for y’all is “wasians” 💀💀 anyway happy Filipino American History Month

a photo of Jas, a brown-skinned Blasian nonbinary person with long dark braids hid under a backwards baseball cap and purple glasses. they are smiling at the camera and are outside in the sunshine

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Sep 30

I’ll have you know I scoured the archives for this butt good luck buddy you got this

photo of Jas’s cat Opal loafing on her cat tree, facing away from the camera (so mostly her butt is showing)

Jas Brown@cinderscoria· Sep 23

my cat’s name is Opal and my most used names are “Opalite” and “Opalite of my life” (like “light of my life” lmaooo) I also call her “sweet thing” and “little love” this is my baby she’s eleven and chonky and i love her so much